What would disappoint you about your children?

[fizzybottles]

I want my children to be happy and to be whoever they must be. My love for them is fairly traditionally unconditional.

However, I would feel disappointed and somewhat a failure if my children do not grow up to be kind. That's desperately important to me.

(I'm kind of hoping they have a broad taste in music, too).

Probably we don't actually disagree, Overmydeadbody. Teaching your children a love of healthy exercise is a great thing.

But I do think that some people just aren't that interested in sport and really would rather read a book and that does not make them disappointing or unattractive.

In fact one of the sexiest men I know is a bit like that - very cerebral, creative and interesting but his idea of hell would be running around on a football pitch. As would mine, in fact.

Those parents you see at the side of the sports field yelling at their kids for missing the ball or those mothers who "gently" mock their chubby daughters are some of the very worst. And they are just not traits that imo a parent needs to focus on with respect to their children.

But still OMDB didn't say she would be disappointed if he wasn't sporty!

She said fat and lazy and didn't do any sport.

You are projecting massively on to what OMDB has actually said.

And personally I would regard laziness as something that a parent should focus on

Ah ok OMDB. I was too lazy to read the thread properly.

I would be disappointed if dd turned out like me, only because I know how low my self esteem is and how knackered I get and I would hate for her to feel that.

Anyway, apologies OMDB

I wouldn't be diaapointed in a DC for holding a political view- they can be left wing, right wing, apolitical, as long as they still have respect for human life. I would be disapointed (although I would attempt not to show disaproval) if my DC didn't see God in the world. How they express their religious beliefs though would be up to them. (waits to get destoyed by atheists, but still can't help her feelings!)

If they ended up with a spouse that loathes me as much as I loathe my inlaws.
If they were ashamed of me or their dad.

what pagwatch said.

It's not about whether or not they kick a football round a pitch stillstanding, it's the combination of being lazy, fat and doing no physical activity that would disappoint me.

Before he was born I thought I wanted him to be intellectually brilliant, and gorgeous, and socially adept, and good at sport - but once he was born I found I didn't give a stuff, as long as he mostly enjoys his life, is reasonably healthy, and doesn't gratuitously hurt people.

naomi that's just one of those things isn't it - I'd be disappointed if my child became religious - and I can totally see it would feel the same the other way round. But I think I could manage to respect it and not express my disappointment, as long as they remained tolerant themselves.

I'll be disappointed if they don't turn into teenagers who stay in bed all day. I loooong for that!

I would be disappointed by:-

Fundamentalist belief in any religion

Mean spiritedeness

Right wing politics

And I try VERY hard not to say "I just want you to be happy" to them. You can't always be happy - and it would make being unhappy even worse if you felt you were letting your mum down at the same tiem!

I don't think I was projecting actually, Pagwatch. There are some jocks people in the world who think that anyone who would prefer to read a book than play sport and is, heaven forbid, a bit overweight is lazy. Which is obviously crap.

But from her subsequent posts I don't think that OMDB thinks that.

I personally wouldn't put the same emphasis on physical activity in determining in whether or not my child disappointed me but do agree that physical activity is A Good Thing.

I would be if there are not themselves.

I would like them to be content.

Happiness is fleeting but contentment is something that stays and means you are fundamentally 'at peace' with you, your life and your choices.

I'd be disappointed if they ended up too much like me. I am hoping DC2 (due Dec) will take after his/her father as much as DS1 has.

At the most basic level, I want DC to be responsible, to earn their money honestly, to pay their own bills, make allowances for the feelings and needs of others, to not hurt or use or abuse others.

My older 3 are 23,21 and 18 and they're doing all the things I really hate i.e. they're doing all the things I did when I was there age.

Methinks it's karma

Gah @ typo. It is of course 'their' age.

Old age and all that.

Yes be kind is a good one. Think of others.

I'd be disappointed if she doesn't respect me and dh, and actually I'd like her to like us.

Stigaloid, that's a really sad post. Why do say that?

Would be disappointed if they ended up smokers considering the family members Ive already seen die from this :-(

@ stillstanding

I didn't mean projecting as in psych-babbletastic. I just meant I thought you were reading stuff in there that wasn't.
I agree with you about jock types but for 'lazy' i read sloathful and disinterested.

I love that my children are well read and enjoy art and conversation. But I too would be disappointed if they avoided excercise and sport and were lazy in their approach to all things in life.
And I do mean disappointed like when I realised I would always be flat chested - not life alteringly horrified like when I found out my brother had ripped off his sons trust fund

I hope my three are kind to people and take responsibility for themmselves. I hope they find things they love to do and that bring passion and joy to their lives.
If they can find away to make that pay the rent I will be delighted.

I also hope that my DS1 and DD find a way to care for their brother without ever feeling that they are responsible for how his life pans out. I hope they find a balance because I know it is hard.

I'll be disappointed if they don't feel good about themselves and their place in the world. That's the biggest, most important thing I want for them. Healthy, humble self-esteem. That elusive beast

LOL pagwatch - I agree. (And am at your brother.)

I would be disappointed if they didn't find contentment in life. Also if they grew up to be unkind or disrespectful of others.