Things you never thought you would hear yourself say before having children...

[Bumperlicioso]

I was at the park on Saturday and there were two woman and their little boys playing together. One of the boys came up to his mum and I heard her say 'Don't worry darling, you can be the skunk...'

What did you never think you would hear yourself say?

please don't hit your brother with the baseball bat. (i wouldn't of minded but they were 12 and 9 at the time!)

I remembered a classic (prompted by someone elses post...)

Stop playing with your willy or it'll drop off and the cat will eat it.

For some reason the thought of the cat eating it worried my son far mroe than it dropping off in the firt place!

"Come here and let me sniff your bum."

(In high pitched deranged excited sounding voice)

Oh look it's a birdie! Yes, it goes "tweet tweet" doesn't it!!! TWEET TWEET!

Ooh look and a doggie!! It goes "woof woof"! Yes that's right pet, WOOF WOOF!

Yes, that's a motorbike! Yes, vroom vroom! VROOM VROOM!!

etc etc....

In soothing voice to hysterical and constipated 3 year old 'No, the pooh is not chasing you we just need to snap it off'.

Another consitpated 3 yr-old here:

'They're calling the register at poo preschool Where's dd-poo?

It's not here - it's still in dd's bottom.

Well, it needs to come out and come to preschool.'

et,etc....