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Parenting

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Original poster

Advantages of having 2 (or more) dc's?

27 replies

shish · 09/06/2009 09:05

Flobbleflobble strated a thread about all the good thing about only having one dc - lots of responses!!!

I have just had dc2 and still getting very srtessed. This thread is getting me back to regretting it a bit. How about all the advantages of having more than one dc???

I felt I had to have another as dc1 is so sociable and loves having the company of other children. I was worried he would be lonely as on anoly child...

OP posts:

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dingledangle · 09/06/2009 09:24

As with all things in life there are advantages and disadvantages to everything.

I have found all the disadvantages disappear when I see my two DC sitting at the dinner table making each other laugh without any input from me at all.

Of course it is annoying when they will not share their toys or when all you want to do is sit and watch a film with the older child and the little one wants to play.

I have asked my older child whether they are pleased that they have a younger brother and she always says yes. That is good enough for me.

I think children accept what is around them, it is adults that think too hard about it. I was an only child and have not regretted it, I am sure that my children will be happy having siblings (most of the time anyway!).

It is too much wasted energy looking back. Perhaps this is not the answer you were looking for? I am not sure how old your children are (mine are 4 and 1) but I did find that as they are getting older they are more interactive. This cuts both ways of course.

Hang in there. I am sorry to hear that you are regretting having had a second child but hopefully the difficulties that are making you stressed will pass......

( There are days of course when I regret having one child, let alone two!) Today is a good day (well so far...)

RosemaryBingle · 09/06/2009 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChasingSquirrels · 09/06/2009 09:38

the main (overwhelming) advantage, to me, is that I have two of them. That's it. I would have more if it was a possibility.
For all the stress, angst, hard work - the fact of them being in my life is just such an overwhelming joy (mostly!).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

weegiemum · 09/06/2009 09:40

Watching them.

Last night ours had been off school for an inset day, had spent all day out in the sun, were grubby, tired and happy.

They snuggled up on the sofa at about 6.30 to watch a dvd and relax (Kung Fu Panda! Yay!) and I just sat on the other sofa and looked at them.

FelineFine · 09/06/2009 09:44

There probably are many but when my 2 boys fight I cannot think of one good reason to have 2 boys. I will try though.

When the youngest is ill his big brother looks out for him (i.e. "don't be sick there got to the loo" and "okay you bed is covered in sick jump into mine".

They do sometimes play together, well DS1 plays on Xbox and DS2 is allowed to watch.

They are very close and even though they fight like cat and dog they miss each other.

I am one of 3 children and I liked having 2 siblings. The older was a PITA as I couldn't do anything without him telling my parents but looking back I can see he was attempting to look out for me.

Everyone is different though. My friend has 6 children and he house is always full of noise, laughter or crying. I love visiting, it's nice to come home to some P&Q though.

I actually said to my eldest the other day "OFGS I had him so you would have someone to play with and look at you, be nice"!

ilovespinach · 09/06/2009 10:45

I have 2 boys (3.2 and 17 months) and the best thing is just sitting back and watching them look at eachother and burst into laughter. Of course,there are lots of fights over toys but they are also starting to play together. The eldest is also starting to look after his brother and hold his hand when they are walking togther which is lovely

The best thing was last week when dh and I awoke to the sound of their laughter (they sleep together in the adjoining room) as the eldest was playing peep with his brother under the covers.

It has taken us a long time to get here though and it was very hard in the beginning.

I have a sister but there is a big age gap so I grew up as an only child. Every childs experience is different and for me, I wanted for sure to have 2 dcs close in age so they could play together and always have eachother.

Original poster

shish · 09/06/2009 12:26

Mine are 2.11 years and 11 weeks. Reading the other thread made me miss having just one. I thought it would be nice to see the positives of having more than one. I guess I'm looking for a bit of a confidence boost after reading that thread

OP posts:

chickers · 09/06/2009 18:10

I have had 3 kids in 4 years and its been hard but I watch them together they are 4,3 and 9 months and my heart melts.
I didn;t think I would have enough love to go round but I do.
I sometimes have the most awful days, sound like a broken record, clear up constantly and have no time to myself but I wouldn't change it. A big family is great.
I felt like you did in the first few weeks with my 2nd (may daughter couldn't even walk when I had my son) it was hard but wine got me through. I would have more if my body wasn't so wrecked!! (3 c-sections!!! )

peanutbutterkid · 09/06/2009 18:55

I have 4, age 1-9.
DC1-DC2 have a close bond, always have, they are best mates, really, though they can fight like crazy, too.
As a parent I worry a lot less about any one of them, because they are so many...
More little people to marvel at and be delighted by everything they achieve.

Original poster

shish · 09/06/2009 19:29

Chickers you make it sound so easy

OP posts:

supagirl · 09/06/2009 19:41

We have 4 kids and 1 on the way.

I DEFINATELY find more than 1 easier. Yes it is hard somedays, but they ALWAYS have someone to play with. The younger ones learn from and are encouraged by the older ones with things like reading/writing. My 5 year old for example wants to read because his brother can and that means more to him than me telling him it's important. They have role models and someone to look out for them at school. They have others to talk to when they are having a tough time who understands what they are going through. Although it's an ongoing battle they will ultimately be better at sharing because they have to - they realsie if they don't share then the others won't share and they'll miss out, they learn about responsibilities and expectations of different ages and so are more tolerant/patient, outdoor games are much more fun - football, cricket, rounders etc are much easier with us all playing, they have had to learn that they cannot always have what they want because of financial/time constraints - a valuable lesson, I am the most patient (and organised) person I know......because I HAVE to be!

.......I could go on and on. Btw I'm not suggesting for one moment that one child families can't have all these things as well I just love my big family!

I actually used to be a 2 person family, just me and ds but have acquired 2 step children and gone on to have 2 (well 1 and 1 on the way ) more LO's and can honestly say I have never been happier! :O)

wolfnipplechips · 09/06/2009 20:16

My dd and ds absolutely adore each other, there are tears at night when i make him go to bed in his own room. Sometimes when i am in another room i can hear them laughing manically and it makes me laugh.

We've just been away for 4 days and left the kids with my IL and never would have contemplated being away so long when dd was ds age but when there together he is so secure he would stay anywhere as would she, its a relief because she was such a clingy only child.

no number of children is the right number, you just make it work for you.

MegBusset · 09/06/2009 20:26

I have two DSes -- 2.4 and 6 weeks. Tough, isn't it?

But today, at playgroup, DS1 (who is very shy and will not touch or interact with other kids by choice) held DS2's hands to sing 'Row Your Boat' and it all seemed worth it

Chatkins · 09/06/2009 20:29

I have 3 aged, 6, 5 and 2, and yes there are days when all they do is argue. The latest thing is the constant "I'm telling on you", whenever one does something the other doesn't like ! But then there are the days when all 3 play together nicely. The oldest 2 are girls, and share a room. They can play together beautifully, and remind me of me and my sister as we were close in age. It is lovely to hear them run in from school charging up the stairs shouting "lets play that game again with the cave..."
My little boy is constantly trying to catch up with them, and when he joins in with them he seem so pleased that he is part of their game, he just obliges and does whatever they want him too. Today they were all bears pretending the playhouse in the garden was a cave. He was totally absorbed in it.
It is always much harder when they are babies. It gets better honestly!

buktus · 09/06/2009 20:32

I have 3 and have just found out about watersure, the water co will only charge us £30 month for as much water as we like because we have 3 kids on child tax credit and huuuuge water bil.

chickers · 10/06/2009 13:43

Its nice reading that I am not the only nutter having more than 2 kids. My other half casually slipped into conversation last night about having number 4!
I must admit I had a shiver down my spine but was secretly quite excited!!

chickers · 10/06/2009 13:44

Just to add a lady I know has got 2 boys and has just had twin girls!! 4 kids under 4!! makes your eyes water!!

DaddyJ · 10/06/2009 14:24

Hope it makes you feel better to know that
the other thread was started in 2005
And the reason was that having 'just' one is often commented on
whereas two is regarded as 'normal'.

I loved things when there was just dd
and now there are 2 - I love it!
Stop worrying, enjoy your kids

Original poster

shish · 10/06/2009 15:05

I had no idea the other thread was started that long ago. It looked very recent as the numbers of responses shot up. Really want to enjoy my kids. I'm hoping things will get easier and more enoyable as ds2 gets older in the next few months. We need to enjoy being a family of 4!!

OP posts:

BroodyChook · 10/06/2009 18:10

They always have each other, whatever the future brings

forehead · 10/06/2009 18:49

I've got three Dc's aged 7,5 and 4. When they were smaller it was quite difficult for dh and i because there are less than two years between each child. They do argue and fight sometimes, but i know that they love each other.When dd2 started school, dd1 was the one she would go to if she felt lonely at school. My dc's miss each other when they are apart. However, my dd1 told me that the best thing about having other siblings is that when she breaks something she has got someone to put the blame on. Sisterly love eh.

Jewelsandgems · 10/06/2009 20:08

Having one child is great and easier than having 2. But, when I gave birth to my tiny little DD2 it gave me great joy.

For me, it is nothing to do with whether they play together or not (they do and it is very sweet) but more I cannot imagine my life without my two little girls. And when friends of mine go all gooey at their 1 child, I can go super-gooey over my 2 children.

Do not be worried, it is hard but what isn't? When Mt and DH are away without the girls, they both have each other so it is a bit strange with nanny and bunky looking after them, but because they are still with each other, they are alot more accpeting of strange situations.

My DD2 was not planned, but she is as cherished as my DD1, and I love how different they are, and the different things they bring to my life.

tummytickler · 10/06/2009 22:08

I have 4 dc's and love it. Yes, it is hard work when they are young, especially when nights are broken and you are knackered, but when your little one is older and they can show love and affection to each other, you will be blinded with joy.
Nothing is better when you have a great day, and your kids adore each other, play togetehr beautifully, and you all have lots of fun.
I find the bad days tp be awful, but the good days far outweigh them. Even when they fight like cat and dog, they are learning about the world around them and how to have relationships with other in a safe, cosy loving environment.
FWIW dh and i are both only children and we both hate it. Dh more so since his parents died (mine are still alive). We both feel there is something huge missing from our lives, and wish desperately we had siblings. MIL was unable to have more children, but my father really wanted more children but my mum said no .
I had the advantages of 3 holidays a year, and being sent to a private school, but tbh i would rather have had a brother or sister, and i feel it more the older i get.
Your dc2 could be the best gift you ever give dc1 imo

Original poster

shish · 11/06/2009 08:34

Tummytickler that's extactly why I decided to agree to dc2. Dc1 loves him so much but it's just very hard right now. We would go on holiday or out and about for the day and ds1 would be looking for other children to play with. For me he has always been more than enough, especially as there was a chance I may have never been able to concieve, but I felt it was very selfish on my part not to give him a sibling.

OP posts:

Anifrangapani · 11/06/2009 20:17

I have 2 and suspect a 3rd is on its way

With one we always had to keep her entertained. As soon as her brother came along she was so made up. She refers to him as "MyTom". The fight like crazy sometimes but other times I can sleep in until 10 because they are playing "making breakfast"..... and I have 2 little things that love me uncondionally.

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