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Parenting

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Original poster

I want another baby but Im 42 and Hubby is 49...are we over the hill?

93 replies

bottletopbill · 22/05/2009 13:16

Didnt think I wanted anymore but I feel "sad" that my ds is an only child.

My Hubby is 50 nest May and feels he would be too old and not fair on child that when he's 10 he will be 60!!!

Just needed to get this off my chest!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BitOfFun · 22/05/2009 13:18

Pushing it, I'd say, if it will be hard to conceive. Very emotionally stressful, I'd imagine, especiallly if dh is less keen. That said, someone told me about a friend of 45 who's having her first yesterday. You need to talk more to dh, I guess.

FabulousBakerGirl · 22/05/2009 13:18

Why?

You ask the question which implies you are in two minds - answer, no, go for it!

Then you post about getting it off your chest like now you have, you have no desire to have another baby.

Do you see my point?

If you want a baby, try for one.

bloss · 22/05/2009 13:19

Message withdrawn

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PuppyMonkey · 22/05/2009 13:19

My mum was 42 and my dad was 50 when they had me. And I turned out fairly normal. Tick, tick.

Kayzr · 22/05/2009 13:20

If you both want another then go for it.

shavenhaven · 22/05/2009 13:20

yes i think you are both to old, but people talked about me fpr being to young when i had dd and i am a fab mum.

do you really care what everyone else will think if its what you want?

EvenBetaDad · 22/05/2009 13:20

I can understand your sadness but I am 46 and DW is 45 and I would be worried about the same thing as your DH even at my age. Not saying DH or you are right or wrong - just how I feel.

I know someone who had children very late in life when he was in his mid 60s. He was 70 years old with two young daugters about age 5 - 6 I think when he died.

Original poster

bottletopbill · 22/05/2009 13:22

yes I know what you mean...Some days I feel I would desparately love another child other days my sensible head kicks in and says hang on your 42, health issues, you'd have to stop work for a short period - no money, DS starts school in 9 months - bad timing but not much time left really at 42/49

I think its because I know I have to make a decision NOW due to ages etc.. when your lates 20's and early 30's there's no rush but when you hit 40's perhaps that decision is taken away from you so not as easy as you think

OP posts:

Rindercella · 22/05/2009 13:22

Nope, not over the hill. We have a 21 month old DD and are currently TTC #2. DH will be 51 in July and I have just turned 39. One of the reasons we want another child is so that DD is not the only one of her age group in her generation in our families, if that makes sense? She has a half brother who will be 19 next birthday, and all her cousins are that age or older.

If you're fit & healthy and both want another child, then you should just go for it.

daftpunk · 22/05/2009 13:23

42 isn't too old..but 50 is...your dh will be 60 with a child still at primary school...and mid/late 60's with a teenager.

get a dog or something.

Original poster

bottletopbill · 22/05/2009 13:24

By the way DS is 4 years old I had him at 38

OP posts:

FabulousBakerGirl · 22/05/2009 13:25

Why not try for 6 months and then accept you will be a one child family if it doesn't happen?

PuppyMonkey · 22/05/2009 13:25

My dad was 60 when I was ten. It's not against the law to be 60 and have a child at primary school.

daftpunk · 22/05/2009 13:29

i didn't say it would be breaking a law....but who wants to be a parent of a teenager at 65?....you'd have to ne nuts.

GBR · 22/05/2009 13:30

I had older parents too (mum 47, dad 45) when I was born, and it never bothered me - kept them young too! Life expectancy is getting longer all the time. Also would be nice for your DS to have a sibling?

daftpunk · 22/05/2009 13:31

people should stop having children at around 40..

PuppyMonkey · 22/05/2009 13:33

You'd have to be nuts to be the parents of a teenager at any age, imho.

Rindercella · 22/05/2009 13:34

The thing is though, not everyone meets their partner at 24, gets married at 26 and have children at 28 do they?! Some people's lives are just not mapped out that way. In an ideal world, DH and I would have started our family when we were both several years younger, but it just didn't pan out that way.

GBR · 22/05/2009 13:36

Fortunately for me, daftpunk, I was born in Ireland in the 60s - no contraception! (ooh, can't bear to think of aged parents shagging though)

daftpunk · 22/05/2009 13:40

that's different GBR...no choice, you wouldn't choose to be parents at 50 now would you.

chatname · 22/05/2009 13:41

I'm 45 and DH 44. DS turns 1 tomorrow.

It has been a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful year and I'd have another like a shot if it were just up to me.

Rindercella · 22/05/2009 13:41

Well, my DH would Daftpunk

pavlovthesmugcat · 22/05/2009 13:42

You are not over the hill if you don't think you are. By the time you get to retire, you can potentially be working until 70 I expect, and life expectancy is significantly higher these days, so if you can work that long, and live that long, why not have a child who will be an adult by the time you retire?

When most people were married with 3 children before they were 30, then 40's might have been considered 'too old' but those days are over. My mum had her first (who is now 42) when she was 26, and she was considered too old, by the time I had mine, 3 years ago, I was 29 and that was considered normal, mum would have been left on the shelf by then in her day!

Times change, attitudes change. If you are prepared for the work, have the income to support them as you grow older, then absolutely why not if you are able to conceive.

BriocheDoree · 22/05/2009 13:42

Someone I know had twins at 43 and has just had another baby at 47...

dontdillydally · 22/05/2009 13:42

some interesting comments here - yes I didnt meet my partner until 36, I had my ds at 38 best thing Ive ever done.

Daft Punk - dont you have anything better to do, your comments are very, very shallow. Youre obviously doing it to cause a reaction

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