I want another baby but Im 42 and Hubby is 49...are we over the hill?

[bottletopbill]

Didnt think I wanted anymore but I feel "sad" that my ds is an only child.

My Hubby is 50 nest May and feels he would be too old and not fair on child that when he's 10 he will be 60!!!

Just needed to get this off my chest!

And I know some really unfit parents of teenagers at 40, and some very active youthful parents of young children in their late 40s, and early 50s (the men are in their 50s, the women in their 40's). So age is not necessarily a factor, if you are fit, and aware of society changing around you.

it's not about being a good or bad parent...it's about the physical effort envolved in bringing up children...a woman of 45 isn't as fit as a woman of 25....i know you don't have to be running around all over the place to be a good parent, but it helps if you can keep up with them!... it also helps to be "in touch"...with your dc...i'm only 18 years older than one of my dc ...that helps me as a parent i think......if you're in your 60's with teenagers...you are completely alien to their generation.

What a load of drivel....

love, nurching, development, care, sense of values, spring to my mind not "being in touch"

I don't agree with being in their generation. I am only 21 years old than my eldest but when he is 15 etc I think that I will be completely alien to his generation.

Surely with teenagers, even being 10 years older than them means you're, like, totally uncool anyway! (Certainly feel like that with some of my nieces and nephews)

Sorry, so therefore, theoretically the older you are the better, as you'll remember what a tit you were as a teenager and have the patience to wait for them to grow out of it.

I would say give it a go. I know someone who was 47 when they had a baby.

You are right Kayzr. I had my eldest dd at 17, and she still thought I was an old fogey when she was a teenager! As did I about my mum when I was a teenager, with parents who were in their teens when I was born.

I've just had ds2 (in January) at 43, so OP, if you really want to have another baby now, go for it - it's the best decision I have made.

my posts are just my opinions..i don't expect anyone to take any notice of them..

Scotia/Kayzr - totally agree with your comments...no matter what age, generation, plant youre from our children will always, always see us as old fogeys and so very not hip!

Quite and at some of the posts on here

I had my first at 36 and last at 40 (I am nearly 42)

If somebody would have told me aged 24 (when I started trying to have a baby) that I would be pregnant at 40 I would have scoffed but it was not easy to have a baby when I actually wanted one

The other thing is my mum had me at 20 and I lost her when I was 32 as she died of cancer.

You cannot plan life so easy

If you want another child go for it. I am not the oldest mum at the school gates and neither will you begood luck x

and if I could afford it I would have had another after my son but dh had snip as we knoew it would be too hard money wise

agree that you can't plan life.

my mum was 26 when she had me (I am the youngest of 4). She died when I was 21.

I am now 32, and dh is 47. We have 2 dds, and are debating whether to have another. THe age thing does worry me, purely because I lost my mum so young, but then again, I reckon dh will last past 68, so our children will have at least as much time with him as I had with my mum, and I don't feel deprived (well, i do, but ykwim, hopefully)

OP, only you know whether it would be a good idea to have another - is your health generally good? is your dh's? are you both youthfull, or likely to be quite irritable with teenagers when in your 60s? (I don't buy the being closer to them as a generation argument, surely all parents are only there as forms of torture to teenagers?)

CP..36 and 40 is not too old...i said stopping at around 40....so not sure if it was my posts that made you ...42 isn't too old, ..but 50 is.

I am 51 and my dd is 9 (10 in Aug). DH is 54. We are 'in touch' because she makes damn sure we are. It will be different when she's actually pubescent/post-pubescent but who is in touch with teenagers, apart from other teenagers?

It is not hte job of a parent to be 'in touch', that is an aside and nice if you can be but not important. It is important to be a parent, to nurture, love, guide, teach, all that stuff. You can do that at 50 or 60 as well as at 20 or 30. Oh and it doesn't matter how old or young you are, you will still be embarrassing on the dance floor.

daftpunk, I think 18 is too YOUNG to have a baby, for totally irrational reasons like yours. So ner ner.

Well, some of your comments have made me angry Daftpunk. Comments such as:

"get a dog or something"

and

"you'd have to ne nuts."

and

"people should stop having children at around 40"

for example.

Thankfully though, you were quite right in one of your posts where you stated that these are just your opinions and that you don't expect anyone to take any notice of them.

I am thankful that I had DD with my DH, who I love dearly. I would've hated any of the fuckwits I dated in my teens and early 20s to have been the father of my child!!

I only met my partner when I was in my 30's, we've been trying for a baby for nearly two years now and I'm 37 tomorrow. I don't think you need to give up at 40 at all.

OP - I have friends and relatives who have had their children late in life, as well as having one friend who had a dad of 80 when we were at uni. It is only a problem if you want it to be and as long as you both want another child then go for it. I know there is a 'ttc in your fabulous 40's' type thread in the concpetion room, go have a nose, I'm sure they won't mind talking and sharing experiences of ttc in your 40's.

I would have hated to have a baby at 18
the years btw 18 and about 25 were the best years of my life! I won't want to be doing the things I was doing then at 40, instead I'll be happy doing family things with my young kids

I think if you are fit and well you should set yourself a time limit like a year or so and go for it!A child is a gift if its meant it will be.I considered another at your age and age was the only thing that I wasn't bothered about.Good luck

I had dd at 43 and dh was 45. We would have had another if we could but were not able to. It is worrying being an older parent - but I don't think she would have been better off not being born (not yet anyway ).

In our case dh was very keen. We have friends with 2, and the dh is 2 years older than mine but the dw is 10 years younger than me. He was very reluctant to go for no 2 but she was very persuasive and he seems to be happy and coping OK - but not as involved or supportive as my dh who was keener.

I gave birth to our son at the age of 47, bottle. Dh was 50.
We have never felt that age was an issue, especially when running after him etc and we cope fine. 50 is not too old imo.