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Original poster

Etiquette on little boys weeing in public... MN verdict please!

134 replies

Picante · 12/05/2009 13:36

DS (3) is potty trained but not great at holding it.

Where would you draw the line - is it ok to wee in...

a forest?
a big park?
a playground?
in the street?

Or is it never acceptable?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PM73 · 13/05/2009 08:18

I have a ds 2.9 who has been trained about 2 mths now & i was given a pottette & i have used it once we were at the zoo & he had only been trained a couple of weeks.There was hardly anyone around & he couldnt have waited till we found the toilets so i sat him on the potty in a corner.

I have no issue with him needing the toilet outside,luckliy we havent had to go in drains etc yet although we did have to stop on the M56 for a wee sharpish!

I wouldnt be bothered at all about seeing a lo weeing or pooing outside,so long as it was as discreetly as possible,who cares?

Great tip about keeping a bottle in the car

paisleyleaf · 13/05/2009 10:33

This thread perhaps isn't about "as a matter of course"
and is more about getting caught short.
But I've been out with a couple of people who do have their DSs weeing where they stand pretty much all the time.
The DS says 'I need a wee" and the mum turns him away from others and helps him get his willy out.
No looking / asking about nearby toilets or anything.
This is why I've thought boys often don't learn to hold it as well as girls.
I think it is a matter of course for some people.

jeee · 13/05/2009 10:39

The local park has no loos, so all the kids (including junior school ones) use the bushes - and then continue playing in them. Like most mothers, though, I wish they'd just go, instead of screaming across the park: "MUUMMMEEEE, I'm just going to WEEEEE in the bushes."

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OrmIrian · 13/05/2009 10:41

Anywhere where you can be a little discreet and it will soak away - ie not a pavement.

loobeylou · 13/05/2009 11:20

Oh this reminds me of SILs story of when they took their DS aged 5 up the London eye. of course he waits till they are at the top before announcing he is desperate for a wee. he has since had an operation, so genuine probs holding on. SIL had a bottle of water in her bag, which BIL had to drink so that LO could wee into it (discretely shielded from fellow travellers, though they can have been in no doubt what was going on!) Then when they came down, it was BIL dashing to find the nearest loo!!!

my DC girls and boys are allowed to pee in parks woods etc, not in someone elses garden though, that is , pure lazy

we had a portapotty when they weer smaller TOP TIP - homemade bags are SO MUCH CHEAPER than the ones you buy, nappy sack plus cheapo sanitary towel, voila!

Gala · 13/05/2009 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueberryPancake · 13/05/2009 12:45

I like the bottle idea, DS would love to aim in one of those!!! He always has a wee before we go out, and if need be and no loos I try to find a bush, tree, nowhere close to where people could walk in it. I also carry a little bottle of hand disinfectant for afterwards. He's 3.5 and I often ask him to hold it in for a little longer, so that he gets used to it a bit, but not too long as it's bad for them to hold it for too long.

OrmIrian · 13/05/2009 12:49

DS#2 got caught short whilst driving through the lion enclosure at Longleat last summer. So he wee-ed in an empty bottle of apple juice - cue much hilarity and 'ewwww!' from the other DC. Trouble was that he hasn't had a wee for hours and had drunk quite a lot of the said juice for lunch... so I was getting very nervous as the level got nearer and nearer the top of the bottle! But he stopped just in time.

Highlander · 13/05/2009 13:29

DS1 is 4.5. I always make him go to the loo before we go out. When we are out, if he's got to go, then we go pretty much anywhere that's quiet. Once we didn't make it in time to a patch of grass and he wet himself - he was really distressed.

Highlander · 13/05/2009 13:31

got DS1 just to pee into one of DS2's spare nappies once (heavy urban area, drain was in a busy road). DS1 thought it was hilarious

threestars · 13/05/2009 14:17

We got stuck in a huge traffic jam in an urban area where there was no privacy by the road, so got DS to climb in the front of the car with me and pee in a bottle.
He lurrrrvvved it and for the next couple of weeks kept asking if he could do it again.

threestars · 13/05/2009 14:19

He once needed to go at the park so I made him hide up, near the hedge and pee on some old nettles. Then he tripped up. He didn't 'lurve' that so much.

littlebrownmouse · 13/05/2009 19:51

Far more environmentally friendly to wee in a drain/gutter/field/hedge/grass verge etc than into a plastic bag with a sanitary twoel type thingy with chemical in it to soak up wee IMO. Why add to landfill when DC can have a quick splash behind a hedge. Wee will get get washed away when it rains, pottette contents there for many years. I don't get it.

NoseyHelen · 13/05/2009 20:08

I think it's disgusting to do this as a matter of course because it's teaching children that it's acceptable to wee in public and it seems that it is considered more acceptable for a boy to do it - perhaps that's why grown men are more likely to do it too. It just seems to be part of the 'boys will be boys' attitude which is one of my bug-bears (is that a phrase?).

The OP asked where would you draw the line, which I assumed meant where is it acceptable as a matter of course. If it's a case of being caught short on a one off occassion then it makes no difference whether it's acceptable because the child will have to go presumably.

I think I just get annoyed at parents who appear to be letting their children wee wherever and whenever they want and I've seen some really bad examples lately in playgrounds etc.

Having said that, in answer to the OP, I probably wouldn't be too fazed if DCs weed in a forest but would hopefully have potette with me.

BlueberryPancake · 13/05/2009 20:34

I'm sorry but using a pottette in a forest is to me, a ridiculous idea. You create waste, which takes ages to decompose. If you find a quiet place, sheltered, away from the main path, it makes a lot more sense.

OrmIrian · 13/05/2009 22:03

Agree about the potette. Why bother? It's just water when all is said and done and it will soak away if you go in a forest or a field. I don't see sheep bothering overly much.

I also find the word 'potette' incredibly unpleasant.

Flossyjim · 13/05/2009 22:57

A potette? I've never even heard of one of those..! Portable potty? That's disgusting!! I haven't lived in the UK for over 10 years.....so glad, as I'm sure I would be a completely paranoid mother if I did!!

If the boys need a wee, they'll go somewhere discreet or run into the sea! (or up the tyres of the car!)

mawbroon · 14/05/2009 07:22

I found the portable potty great with my ds when he was newly trained and "i need a pee" meant "i need a pee RIGHT NOW".

I was childminding at the time and would sometimes have three or four young kids with me, so I would get the potty out in any situation where it would be impossible to herd three or four young children to the toilets in time.

If we had been in a forest, it would have been a case of just doing it outside, however my ds was very particular and wouldn't pee anywhere other than a potty for months.

Thankfully it was a short lived phase and he will pee anywhere now!

BlueberryPancake · 14/05/2009 09:37

A pottette is like a portable potty, but you can buy little bags to put at the bottom of it and the bag has a special gel that absorbs wee. It can be very useful especially during potty training, when going out, because I agree that in urban areas it can be tricky sometimes. But to me, using a pottette when in a forest is a bit silly!

I've never had one because DS was happy to sit on the loo, but some toddlers are not happy with sitting on a loo streight away.

Flossyjim · 14/05/2009 10:40

Ah, thanks for clearing that one up Blueberry!

I agree, using one of those in a forest would be ridiculous.....wee is actually very good for plants you know.

If out and about in town or somewhere urban, most cafés or bars/restaurants are happy to let you use the loo if needs must (where I live anyway). You can always buy a muffin whilst you're in there so you don't feel guilty!!!

girlywhirly · 14/05/2009 13:57

In think potettes can be very useful in certain situations, but it's a pity that the manufacturers seem not to provide biodegradable/compostable bags for them. They are missing a great marketing opportunity - 'green' product, chance to charge a little bit more for them etc. Well, why not beat them to it and use biodegradable pedal/kitchen waste bin liners and a pad of kitchen roll? I bet these would cost less than 40p each. If your child wees little and often, just keep adding more kitchen roll to the same bag. There's really no need to dispose of a bag each time it's used unless pooey. You could bin it after every 3rd or 4th use.

How on earth do people manage on holiday if their child only uses a potty, do they need to take an ordinary one too? I think it would be good if there was a flexible reusable liner as well, something like those squashy buckets for sand play that just drops in and folds with the potette. But then they wouldn't be making money selling all those plastic bags, would they.

For older children our rule for weeing outdoors was well away from people and out of sight if possible, and definitely not where others may unwittingly stand/sit e.g. on grass, steps, play equipment peoples gardens etc. For newly trained toddlers, similar, but shielded by pushchair if on potette, or car in carpark, etc. I think it's a fact of life that toddlers need to wee in a hurry and I would never judge people for helping them to go without wetting their pants, but always considerately.

number3onway · 14/05/2009 18:34

my son had a time when he wanted to be like his Dad and pee standing up but also liked the idea of using a tree (his Dad got caught short on a long country walk), so he decided that he absolutely needed to try to go up against every single tree we went passed and t was on a busy road as well. For a while I had to try and walk on the streets with the fewest trees. fortuneatle he grew out of it quickly

loulou33 · 14/05/2009 20:26

You can use nappy bags in potettes(Sorry OrmIrian)portable potty. The Co-op do biodegradable bags as well and you can put biodegradebale nappy liners in them too to absorb wee. They are useful for potty training though i felt that ds1 was being looked at more by passers-by sat on a potty than he would have been if i had let him have a discreet wee somewhere.

Helen - it sounds like you have some real issues about weeing to me I think as children get older they can hold on longer and therefore don't need to wee in public. I remember as a small child being allowed to wee in street but as i got older i was made to wait and use the loo - i don't wee in public now and nor does my brother - we didn't learn a rule that was set in stone into adulthood. Children are far more flexible and adaptable than that and change as they develop. What acceptable at 5 is not at 15 and kids generally get that, don't they??

whethergirl · 14/05/2009 21:17

I agree loulou. Can't believe so many people have commented on kids weeing in public places as gross or disgusting, I just don't see the big deal myself. If my 4 year old needs a wee then I'll find a bush/tree. Sometimes, I prefer it to dirty pulic loos - which can be really disgusting.

After nursery, the mums all go to the same playground and if any of the kids need a wee then they'll use one of the bushes. Potettes are ok for potty training in the initial stages (my son couldn't wee standing up at first!) but other than that they're a bit ridiculous.

iwantagreenlollipop · 14/05/2009 22:26

Yes I agree too! Some people need to chill out a bit and worry about the more important issues in life!

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