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Original poster

Etiquette on little boys weeing in public... MN verdict please!

134 replies

Picante · 12/05/2009 13:36

DS (3) is potty trained but not great at holding it.

Where would you draw the line - is it ok to wee in...

a forest?
a big park?
a playground?
in the street?

Or is it never acceptable?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

loulou33 · 12/05/2009 20:43

You can be charged with public order offence if you wee in public but it would be silly if the police charged the parents of small children. I guess if you are pg you have a very good excuse that you have to go when you need to!!

We also insist that ds1 goes to the loo before going anywhere but he needs the loo a lot as he's only 3.5. It can be a battle and he often says 'i don't need a wee' whilst he is actually weeing!

EvenBetaDad · 12/05/2009 20:45

What is the law in the countryside where loos are few and far between?

PortoPandemico · 12/05/2009 20:53

Public toilets can be far and few between abroad certainly! They don't have any in my local supermarket for example. Have been in the situation many a time where dd, now 5, has become desperate ( usually at the point where I have just put ALL the shopping on the conveyor belt )

She can hold it long enough for me to pay for the shopping and ends up peeing between the parked cars as there is no where more obvious to go! I do make sure she goes before we leave the house and DH considers it really "chavvy" to pee in public, but what do you do?

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jaz2 · 12/05/2009 21:35

I'm just potty training DS (2.5), he is mad keen on his potette (and peeing/pooing al fresco - on Sunday we were out for 4 hours and he needed it 4 times). He even wants to use it in the house.

But I have just worked out the price of each bag: 40p!! So I've bought some bin liners and kitchen roll and will try to use them (still searching for a place to buy blotting paper!). DH is appalled at how stingey I am.

When he's more reliable I'd allow him to pee in all the places OP mentionned, as subtly as possible.

queenrollo · 12/05/2009 21:53

i let my ds pee outside, but he still cannot go standing up(he's nearly 4, any tips to encourage him?).....so i have to hold him. he's pretty good at waiting until we get to a toilet, but sometimes he can't wait.

LissyGlitter · 12/05/2009 22:01

Both my Dad and DP regularly wee in the drain in the back yard...my friends are shocked when he does it, but if he's doing it into the drain then what's the problem? At night-time I have often gone down ginnels to have a wee, pubs don't let you use their toilets unless you buy a drink and no public loos are open at that hour.

Growing up, me and my sisters were always weeing outside, we used to camp, so it was quite normal for us.

hedgiemum · 12/05/2009 22:09

I used to let DS wee in parks etc, if he was desperate and I thought we wouldn't make it to a public loo, until the day I got slightly distracted by my baby being stung by a wasp just as he was going. When I turned back to him I realised he had finished weeing, squatted down, and POOED ON THE GRASS.

(For future reference; It is very difficult to clean poo off a patch of grass - it takes almost a whole packet of baby wipes....)

Since then, I've become a lot stricter (and faster at running to nearest loo with him....)

pigletmania · 12/05/2009 22:16

I agree that men who wee in public are disgusting and just using the community like a public toilet as they cannot be bothered to find a toilet or cannot control themselves.

It does not matter with young children as they are only little and do not have the same control as older children and adults do. Well i would say anywhere private, in a park behind a bush or tree, not in public view really if you have to. I have a daughter who is just over 2, not yet ready to potty trained but i am worrying about this issue. I know that it is more acceptable and easier for boys to wee outside, is it for a girl. I am also worried about peoples reactions and geting caught by the police if she does need to wee or pooh outside.

BirdyArms · 12/05/2009 22:25

I used to be pretty free and easy with ds but now he's getting more able to control himself, he's 4, I am struggling to get him toilet trained. He thinks it's fun to wee just about anywhere outdoors but a lot of the time he's doing it for a laugh rather then because he really needs to go. On the plus side he does have a brilliant technique of just flipping his penis over the top of his trousers without pulling them down so from behind you can't really tell he's weeing.

Greensneeze · 12/05/2009 22:26

well done for cleaning it up hedgiemum!!

Washersaurus · 12/05/2009 22:36

I'll be honest, I'm past the point of caring what people think after months and months and months of trying to train DS1. I don't care if he feels the need to wee up trees, walls, bushes (not cars though, yak) as long as I don't have to strip him off and totally change him every time.

Life is too short, I have littley DS2 too and even if there were a toilet nearby I can't always fit the buggy in and can't send DS1 in on his own.

Don't understand the obsession with carrying potties around really, but we do have one in the car... y'know just in case

NoseyHelen · 12/05/2009 22:56

I think it's disgusting that parents as a matter of course allow their child to wee in public and I see no reason why it's different for boys (I have one of each). We have a Potette and sometimes it has to be whipped out quick smart. I wouldn't dream of teaching my children that it is acceptable to, as a matter of course, wee on the street, in the park etc.

I did forget the Potette a few weeks ago when we popped out for 10 minutes and DD had to wee in the street but I told her that this wasn't a great situation and that it was mummy's fault for forgetting the Potette.

Countingthegreyhairs · 12/05/2009 23:05

Why "disgusting" Helen if you don't mind me asking? (Genuine question)?

That's a strong word, particularly when we are talking about small children.

And I think very few people here have advocated public wee-ing "as a matter of course" ... only when necessary

Merrylegs · 12/05/2009 23:14

I was hosting an NCT 'do' at my house,. Tons of little kids were running around in the garden and I hear this little boy yell to his mum 'I need a wee!'

Did the mum say 'Merrylegs, where is your loo please?'

No.

She said, "That's all right, darling, do it on the grass over there."

And he did.

Charming.

Washersaurus · 12/05/2009 23:16

I disagree. It is not disgusting, just not ideal

I would never wish to give my children hang-ups about it being dirty or unnatural - because that would be wrong.

I want DS1 to learn by himself to hold it in when he feels the need to go. That is, without me forcing him to hold it in by making him feel too ashamed about peeing in public and then having an accident anyway.

KingCanuteIAm · 12/05/2009 23:18

As a matter of course.... is exactly not what this thread is about - in fact your experience with your daughter is what this thread is about.

Do you honestly think we are all running around saying "Oh don't bother with the loo love, just whip it out and p*ss up the neighbours car".

I mean... Really?

FWIW, I have managed to get quite a few children through to being reliably clean and dry with only 3 cases of outside weeing and no "potette". In fact my "faliure" rate is actually equal to yours at the moment.

Washersaurus · 12/05/2009 23:21

KingCanuteIAm · 12/05/2009 23:22

Countingthegreyhairs · 12/05/2009 23:27

oh that's the method I used King Canute!!

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 13/05/2009 00:03

I think that even for adults, it's not great but not the end of the world. There aren't enough public toilets in most places, and sometimes, when you have to go you have to go.

letswiggle · 13/05/2009 02:05

But you don't need a portable potty for boys, any old bottle will do (doesn't need a wide neck, unless it's for your dh too!)

nooka · 13/05/2009 04:09

I've never carried a portable loo for either of my children - I wonder how recently they were invented? But then my family was big on hill walking, and if you are out all day then you are going to be peeing (and occasionally pooing) away from a loo. Nothing wrong with a bush or tree IMO. Both ds and dd have occasionally had to nip behind a tree or find a drain because public loos are not exactly plentiful in the UK. They are also great at asking for help, and have used quite a few staff loos (amazing where a smile can get you).

I was slightly taken aback when dd at the age of four or five (ie old enough to know better) squatted down pretty much in the middle of the playground and widdled. I was very embarrassed in her defense there is no public (or shop) loos anywhere nearby, but it was the total brazenness of it!

queenrollo · 13/05/2009 07:32

i was in the park with ds the other week and he needed the loo and when i got there (expecting to find a babychanging room with toddler loo like the one in town) i found that all of the facilites were beyond the barrier which i needed 20p for and of course i didn't have a 20p and they have removed all the change machines off the wall.(because of the barrier it also means you can't get a buggy through which renders the baby-changing facilites useless really)
And going to the nearest city to discover that none of the toilets are signposted.....

Mine you when i had my shop and it was opposite the public loos, which have free baby-changing with both a toddler sized loo and an adult one people used to let their kids wee in the gutter and even up the outside of the toilet block itself......

queenrollo · 13/05/2009 07:33

That should say mind obviously....

goes off to retrieve rest of brain from bed

ErnestTheBavarian · 13/05/2009 07:38

we have a 'wee wee bottle' that I keep in the car. Much used by dss, (& dh on occasion) and very useful.

thb I think weeing in a drain or up a tree preferable to pottette with liner & pad - think of all the unnecessary landfil for a bit of wee. And for boys, a bottle is much easier anyway than a potette, as you can just pull trousers down a bit and do it standing up. I will attempt the same with dd, but something like a coffee jar, so about 10 cm across. DOn't see why not. She's only 11 months now, so it'll be a while yet. Have a jar/tub saved for the very purpose.

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