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Original poster

"God is actually a flying dutchman you know" The most bizarre nonsense you children have spouted

106 replies

schneebly · 05/05/2009 13:40

that one came from DS2 (4y4m) today on the way to nursery. Am I to blame the television? Perhaps that spongebob fellow?

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Lulumama · 05/05/2009 13:41

haha ! was going to say they watch too much spongebob.. but he;s so cute ! So who cares if he is talking nonesense

Original poster
schneebly · 05/05/2009 13:42

He has been taking a fish slice to bed and calling it 'spatula'

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notnowbernard · 05/05/2009 13:42

DD1 (5.5) spouts a lot of bizarre nonsense at me everyday over breakfast, because she insists on recounting her dreams in every minute, techicoulor detail...

Bless her, but My God it's a load of drivel

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Lulumama · 05/05/2009 13:43

he is channelling spongebob

suggest you change DS1's name to Patrick and buy yourselves a large pineapple

Original poster
schneebly · 05/05/2009 13:48

bernard - bless her DS2 always says he dreamed about whatever DS1 has dreamed about

Lulu I believe you may be right! Not sure about the pineapple thing though - I really went off them since trying to eat mountains of the stuff to start labour! Not sure I could bring myself to live in one.

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Lulumama · 05/05/2009 13:51

you could make burgers for dinner and call them krabby patties?

Original poster
schneebly · 05/05/2009 13:53

DH would die - he hates the sponge I quite like him but may have to curtail the viewing somewhat. We had a quiet weekend in and too much TV was watched!

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NorbertDentressangle · 05/05/2009 13:56

One of DS's most bizarre out of the blue ramblings was when he was about 3.5 "Mummy, did you know that foxes have wee-squirters?"

I have no idea where he got that from (but I don't think you can blame Spongebob for that one )

Original poster
schneebly · 05/05/2009 13:59

love it!

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EyeballsisonaDietAgain · 05/05/2009 14:07

Not bizarre but I had a debate with 6yo niece lasting halfway round the M25 yesterday that the junctions were actually called gunctions (hard g). She would not be convinced that it was a j

Picante · 05/05/2009 14:09

DS (3.0) thinks that policemen climb up ladders and get into those yellow boxes with a camera to take pictures of people driving too fast...

fizzyanddizzy · 05/05/2009 14:25

DS (5.5) was gobsmacked to find out that girls cam out of mummies tummies too. He was (and really still is) convinced that mummies only have boys - girls come from somewhere else. Think his two younger brothers are to blame for this one...

JimmyMcNulty · 05/05/2009 14:35

Ds (2.9) is convinced that he is driving the car when sat in his carseat in the back, not whoever is at the steering wheel. Hence he regularly apologises for bumping over speedbumps; tells us he is going very fast but not to worry because he is being careful; informs us he is going to stop and then, when we carry on, says he changed his mind; and mostly unnervingly cries out 'Oh! I'm crashing on the pavement!" (we haven't yet...)

Ninkynork · 05/05/2009 14:35

My daughter does believe in Leprechauns but doesn't believe in the Irish.

EyeballsisonaDietAgain · 05/05/2009 15:40

PMSL Jimmy

beautifulgirls · 05/05/2009 16:46

DD#2 came up with a lovely suggestion for me after our old dog died earlier this year. I explained the dog had now gone to heaven and DD#2 wanted to go and visit her. When I explained that heaven was a way up above the clouds and I didn't know how to get there DD#2 suggested that we could climb onto the back of a yellow dragon and fly up there. Aww if only.

luckylady74 · 05/05/2009 18:56

'We came out of your tummy Mummy and Pippy came out of Nana's (Pippy being a border terrier).'

acebaby · 05/05/2009 19:00

DS1 thinks that DH assembled him from a flat pack. When he was ill, he begged DH to go to Ikea and buy him a replacement body...

funtimewincies · 05/05/2009 19:05

I'm a pea mummy. I'm small and round and green. (Ds 2y4m)

Fair enough .

LouLovesAeroplaneJelly · 05/05/2009 19:19

scheebly - you are not a kiwi by any chance? Perhaps your DS has been hanging around some Australians???

My youngest charge (6) announced that the Queen poos diamonds becuase she is sensible.

PrettyCandles · 05/05/2009 19:23

3yo dd: Peanut butter is called peanut butter because it's got butts in it.
5yo ds1 replies: No it's not. It's called peanut butter because it's made out of butter.

dd at 5: Mummy, let's make another cake and I can lick the spanner.

Aranea · 05/05/2009 19:25

DD1 (4yrs 4months too... maybe there's something about that age?) announced that 'God is a centaur'.

Aranea · 05/05/2009 19:26

.... and she told my dad that 'pottery is overrated'.

popsycal · 05/05/2009 19:30

ds1 (6) had a sats test today 'it was fun but my brain got cliky and i had to feed half of it to a dragon'

ds2 (4)'when will i be a million years old'
me: (mumbles something about the fat that he wont get to be a million as humans' life span if way shorter'
ds2: mam man - has someone bit ya butterup??'

popsycal · 05/05/2009 19:31

buttercup even