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Parenting

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Original poster

If you made a deliberate decision to stop at 2 children why was this?

98 replies

Concordia · 01/04/2009 22:21

Please tell me lots of positive reasons for just having two children as I really want no 3 and somehow i know it just isn't going to happen. I need to convince myself there are good reasons for stopping at two rather than rubbish ones (age, health, money etc).

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nickytwotimes · 01/04/2009 22:22

One child per hand.
With three, there is always one unrestrained.

fruitshootsnweaveseasterbasket · 01/04/2009 22:23

you might have quads next

CompareTheMeerkat · 01/04/2009 22:23

I feel like our family is complete

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LackaDAISYcal · 01/04/2009 22:24

I was told "never have more children than you have hands"....will that help?

We decided to stop at two, mainly because DH didn't want another one, but after a drunken..."oh it'll be fine" shag.....No3 came along five months ago!!

supersalstrawberry · 01/04/2009 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 01/04/2009 22:25

Borrow a child.

Go to your nearest shopping center. Take your 2 plus another. And then see how it would work.

It may not be as difficult as you might think...

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 01/04/2009 22:26

I just could not face it ever again

DH had the snip 6 months afer the 2nd was born

Have not had one moment of regrt about that

We are finally getting our life back

Ewe · 01/04/2009 22:26

I think the fact you and your DH would be outnumbered by offspring is a strong case for stopping at two!

NorktasticNinja · 01/04/2009 22:26

A wise woman once said to me 'when the children outnumber the parents you've lost'...

Slambang · 01/04/2009 22:28

sorry but I don't think money is a rubbish reason.

I would have loved 3,4,5, more... but stopped at 2 because we Knew that if we had another child our 2 dcs would not benefit and would probably suffer becuase we would be able to afford fewer holidays, trips, family treats etc etc

More importantly dh and I would not have been as good-enough parents as we are now. We would have been more frazzled, stressed, tired etc

I've often sentimentally wished we'd made a different decision but I know realistically we made the right one for us.

NellieTheEllie · 01/04/2009 22:28

I stopped at two because I valued my sanity

Slambang · 01/04/2009 22:29

Get a dog. That stopped the broody urges for me

EachPeachPearMum · 01/04/2009 22:30

Don't want to be outnumbered is our reasoning!

Plus... coming from a larger family, I felt as though there was never enough time or attention for me from my parents, and I don't want my children to feel that way.

Original poster

Concordia · 01/04/2009 22:31

i suppose age, health and money are not really rubbish reasons, but they are negatives rather than a positive desire to stick at just two IYSWIM
I think fruitshoots has clinched it though...

OP posts:

islandofsodor · 01/04/2009 22:31

I wanted three children but we stopped at two because we could not get a nursery or playgroup place locally for dd so sent her to a private nursery attached to a prep school (she is an October birthday and needed to go somewhere).

We fell in love with the school and knew there was no way we could send three children privately, we only just about manage two.

I realise many people will disagree with our reasons but it was the main reason.

Original poster

Concordia · 01/04/2009 22:33

slambang - i know you're right about the trips out / being frazzled etc. It's just hard to weigh up the realities with the sentimentality.
Sorry don't like dogs. Do you think a rabbit would work?

OP posts:

purpleduck · 01/04/2009 22:34

I felt I would be an evil parent if I had anoher one.

And my dh really, really did not want another one, and I didn't want to have to talk him into it etc.

Original poster

Concordia · 01/04/2009 22:36

Hmm having talked DH into no 2 (he would have just stuck at 1) very successfullly admittedly, perhaps i should just quit that now.

OP posts:

nbee84 · 01/04/2009 22:41

I wanted more than two but dh didn't and the more I thought about his reasons the mor I started agreeing with them.

some of them that I can remember (over 14 years ago now!);

3 bed houses aren't designed for 3 children

space in the car - no room for all paraphenalia or added children, friends, family

holidays are designed for 2 adults and 2 children

we had one easy baby, one little monster - how would we cope if no3 was worse!

we were lucky to have 2 healthy children, would we be chancing our luck with no3?

nbee84 · 01/04/2009 22:44

Another was baby equipment - having been abused used by 2 children most wouldn't stand up to a 3rd, so we would have had the expense of more.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 01/04/2009 22:44

We have just decided to stop at 2
we have talked about holidays booking rooms in hotels, seats in the car, bedrooms in the house, and none of those have worked to make me think we should stop

However, my sanity has been pushed to its limits this last 12 months and I am not sure alot of sleepless nights and all the things that come with a new baby would be good for it.

If we had an accident we would go ahead, it would be a joy but it is not something we would plan.

Original poster

Concordia · 01/04/2009 22:45

These are all DHs reasons too (why are men so hideously practical?)

OP posts:

Original poster

Concordia · 01/04/2009 22:46

sorry x post - had just read nbees post

OP posts:

BeatrixRotter · 02/04/2009 13:46

Read this with interest..have just posted about having only one child!

Would agree that money is not a rubbish reason. I was one of four and I really don't think my parents could afford four children. I would have loved to have been able to take the odd dance class or go to Brownies. My sister excelled at sport but had to give it all up once she went to high school as it was in another town and there was no money for bus fares home. Time and affection was spread a bit thin.

MrsMattie · 02/04/2009 13:50

Lots of reasons.

a) DH is adamant that 2 is enough. I could be persuaded otherwise, but am not 'broody'.
b) I am so very bored of being a SAHM, yet couldn't conceive of going back to work until my babies weren't babies anymore, iyswim.
c) My pregnancies aren't great. I was very sick last time and couldn't put us all through that again.
d) I have had 2 problem-free sections and feel like I've 'had my run of luck'. Don't want to tempt fate by putting my body through it all a 3rd time.
e) Money.

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