Confess the lyrics of made-up songs you sing to your DC!

[BEAUTlFUL]

I have millions. When DS2 is about to stick his hand down the loo/eat caterpillars, the song goes:

"Dirty and dangerous, dangerous and dirty;
If you carry on like this you won't live to see 30."

When I'm about to change his nappy, there's a haunting melody that carries the evocative lyric: "I'm gonna do your bum, I'm going do your buummm. I'm gonna do your bum bum bum, I'm gonna do that naughty bum."

After his bath, he endures enjoys the rousing song with moving lines like, "Fresh and clean, fresh and clean, fit to be seen on a magazine/by the Queen".

Is my poor son the only baby to be subjected daily to such outpourings of rubbish?

Ds[name]is so good we wont chop him up for firewood
Here's what we'll do instead
we'll make him into gingerbread.
Gingerbread is good to eat
First the hands[kiss and nibble]
and then the feet[ditto]
Bite the toes off one by one[pretend]
Until every bit is gone[big cuddle].
This is usually when drying etc after bath.

Yours are all so much better than mine.

Remembered another one tonight, after bath-time. when wrapping poor, shit-I-know-what-is-about-to-happen child in towel, I always sing:

"we do the cuddle and dry! Doo-be-doo-doo!
We do the cuddle and dry so the baby don't cry..."

for AGES. Till the towel has sucked all the moisture from his body and the song has sapped all the hope from his soul.

oh I forgot, DH made up the Jim Jama La song to the tune of Chim Chimney from Mary Poppins!

Song made up to try to teach son to clap:

Clap hands, clap hands, one, two, three
I love the baby and the baby loves me
Put him in the oven, Gas Mark Three
We'll have baby for afternoon tea