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Original poster

Confess the lyrics of made-up songs you sing to your DC!

79 replies

BEAUTlFUL · 16/03/2009 23:46

I have millions. When DS2 is about to stick his hand down the loo/eat caterpillars, the song goes:

"Dirty and dangerous, dangerous and dirty;
If you carry on like this you won't live to see 30."

When I'm about to change his nappy, there's a haunting melody that carries the evocative lyric: "I'm gonna do your bum, I'm going do your buummm. I'm gonna do your bum bum bum, I'm gonna do that naughty bum."

After his bath, he endures enjoys the rousing song with moving lines like, "Fresh and clean, fresh and clean, fit to be seen on a magazine/by the Queen".

Is my poor son the only baby to be subjected daily to such outpourings of rubbish?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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MarchNowFebMum · 19/03/2009 19:42

Am too embarassed to post mine - just happy to discover I am not mad (or we're all mad - I am just not alone!)

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 19/03/2009 19:49

I forgot the main one. This was invented when DS2 was just born, and has lasted a full year now.

to the tune of "I Love Big butts" :

"I love this baby and I cannot lie,
No other baby is as nice.
He is so nice, He's really nice,
Yes he's nice that's why I say it thrice.
And I love him so.
I will never never let him go,
And that is true.
But I might think about it if he does a poo..."

Look, he likes it, OK?

OP posts:
Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 19/03/2009 19:56

Oh, and after DS2 was born, I felt a bit bad that I was always singing to him in front of DS1. So I made up a song about both of them, that goes:

I've got a big one [look at DS1],
A little one [look at DS2],
A big one,
A little one,
A big one.
A big one,
A little one..." (You get the idea.)

Then there are endless verses detailing things they've eah been up to recently. To be honest, it goes on forever and I'm sick of it, especially as DS1 is so literal that he notices when it doesn't rhyme properly. But DS1 insists we sing it all the time. Arrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Wigeon · 19/03/2009 20:08

I have conflated two verses of our nappy song!

(in Franglais accent):
One, two, three, the French say ?mais, oui!?
Four, five, six, they like their Asterix
Seven, eight, nine, ze children all drink wine
A-a-nd now we're up to ten and it's time to start again.

One, two, three, Apollo lives at Delphi
Four, five, six, the Dead live beyond the Styx
Seven, eight, nine, some Maidens live in the Rhine (or Hercules was semi-divine)
A-a-nd now we're up to ten and it's time to start again.

The original words, which actually have something to do with nappy changing, are earlier on in the thread...

Am enjoying everyone else's! Thank you OP!

whomovedmychocolate · 19/03/2009 20:19

To the tune of Barbie Girl (while changing nappies)

'You're a poopy girl, in a poopy world, it's fantastic, pants with no elastic'

feralgirl · 19/03/2009 20:28

To the tune of 5 little speckled frogs:

5 fat little Freds
Sat on their mummy's legs
Eating some most delicious milk
(YUM YUM)
One jumped into the bath
And started to smile and laugh
Then there were 4 fat little Freds

Ode2Joy · 19/03/2009 20:31

These are all so cool! I love nappy/ toilet times which have inspired many of most creative moments! I'm so glad to have another legitimate outlet here to air them as it were!

Here are 2 few of my favourites.

This one is sung to the tune of 'Spanish Flea':

There was a little baby boo
Who smelled suspiciously of poo
And when we looked in his nappy
We found out the rumour was true
He'd done a stinky number 2!
(verse 2 is always made up on the spot)

Sung to a made-up tune at high speeds:

Nip nap nip nap nip nap nip nap
Nip nap nip nap nopper!
Nop nap nip nop nap nip
Nip nap nop nap nip nop nipper!
Nip nap paddy whack
Give his bum a little smack
Nicky nacky noodle doodle ding dang dong!

TheCheeseAlarm · 19/03/2009 20:45

A rare and special occasion song in our house used to be...

Good Morning! Good Morning!
You've slept the whole night through!
Good Morning! Good Morning to you.

Good Morning! Good Morning!
It's good to sleep all night.
Good Morning! Good Morning to you.

When your mummy's had some sleep
She doesn't look a fright.
You're a star for sleeping through
It fills me with delight.

Good Morning! Good Morning!
You've slept the whole night through!
Good Morning! Good Morning to you.

ARAG · 19/03/2009 20:48

Sung lounge-singer style, with optional hairbrush microphone:

Naked time... i-in the city.....
Naked time... i-in the city.....
Naked time!
Naked time!
Make a time fo-or Naked time!
Naked time... i-in the ci-i-ty.... of luuuuuv!
Ooo-oo-ooooh...

Confusedanddazed · 19/03/2009 20:58

Another poo based one....

Oh dear what can the matter be
[insert childs name] has pooed in her naaappy
She'll be sitting in it till Saturday
Cos nobody knew it was there

So glad it's not just me!

DoodleSnoodle · 19/03/2009 21:11

These are great!

Yet another poo one, for flushing poo-y liners from real nappies to the tune of 'Lets go fly a kite' (Mary Poppins)

Lets go flush a poo,
Flush down the smelly loo,
Lets go flush a poo and send it soaring,
Off down the sewage pipe,
Down where the air is ripe,
Lets go flush, flush a poooooooo!

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 19/03/2009 21:27

"Down where the air is ripe" - !

OP posts:
Hev2008 · 19/03/2009 21:29

To the tune of Abba, take a chance on me!

If you're all alone
Cos you've done a poo
Honey I'm still free
Change your bum with me

Too much Mamma Mia when he was a newborn I think!

ponto · 19/03/2009 23:06

For singing to a relentlessly crying baby...

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Why's my baby so very unhappy?
You have got a lovely clean nappy
So why are you crying so much?

You're crying and crying and crying and crying
And crying and crying and crying and crying
And crying and crying and crying and crying
But why are you crying so much?

hotCheeseBURNS · 20/03/2009 18:41

I am very proud of:

Brush brush brush your teeth
Make them nice and clean
If you get a cavity it will make you scream
Aaah!

APerson · 21/03/2009 21:28

my baby is very sleepy
my baby is very sleepy
my baby is very sleepy
so shut up for your mummy

to the tune of my bonnie lies over the ocean

(dd is a TERRIBLE sleeper btw, but loves her "mum mum" and gives lots of kisses so it can't be upsetting her )

LackaDAISYcal · 21/03/2009 21:39

Finlay the grumpy baby
that's the sound, the sound of him crying
Finlay the grumpy baby
Here comes Finlay, it's time to hide

Cry, cry, cry - somebody's waking
Moan, moan, moan ? there goes Mum's smile
Whinge, whinge, whinge ? rev up your mis'ry
Here comes Finlay with all his woes

Finlay the grumpy baby
Hear the sound, the sound of him crying
Finlay the grumpy baby
Here comes Finlay, it's time to hide

I think you can guess the tune

when DS1 (PFB) was little, I made up a wee ditty that I used to sing to him all the time (all my own words and music ) and I'm to say that it still brings tears to my eyes when I sing it seven years on.

apostrophe · 21/03/2009 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LackaDAISYcal · 21/03/2009 21:42

.....and CheeseAlarm

We used to sing that too

DS2 is 20 weeks and it's yet to be heard this time though

LackaDAISYcal · 21/03/2009 21:47

These are fab.....I'm pmsl at this thread

....and singing all the ditties to DH who is starting to get more than a little fed up

zisforzebra · 21/03/2009 22:13

Our teeth cleaning song is:

We're gonna make those teeth all shiny and new,
we're gonna make those teeth all shiny and new
We're gonna make those teeth all shiny and new
and make them sparkly white

to the tune of 'I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair from South Pacific (? - I think, my musicals knowledge is a bit ropey)

and I also sing -

You are my Samsam,
my only Samsam,
you make me happy when skies are grey etc

to the tune of You are my sunshine. Not particularly orignal but it makes my DS happy.

outnumbered2to1 · 21/03/2009 23:50

i swear my dad made this one up
to the tune of Horsey Horsey

Horsery Horsey its not fair
poor wee (DC's name) got no hair
he's got a fat belly and a double chin
and that's why his mummmy likes drinking gin

this one is all my own work (usually sung as i walk DS2 up stairs to bed strangley enough)

Climb the wooden stairs to BEDfordshire
Oh climb the wooden stairs to BEDfordshire
cos we're very very tired and we want to go to sleep
So we're climbing the wooden stairs to BEDfordshire.

And the best one my DS1 sang to me one day in the car (but since he is only 5 i'm pretty sure my dad had a hand in this one)

Twinkle Twinkle Chocolate Bar my mum drives a rusty car
It is old and its tyres are flat
and it smells like an old cat
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar my mum drives a rusty car

Mumcentreplus · 22/03/2009 00:11

The family baby song is...
,, he/she's a lovely girl/boy...,, he/she's a lovely girl/boy... a lovely girl/boy...Boom Boom! all while clappin baby's hands (added tickle optional)...they love it..

pingviner · 22/03/2009 00:49

oh gods, Ive been having so much fun with this... just realised how much I enjoy mindless doggrel

Hush now baby, dont say a word, mamas going to buy you a mocking bird
and if that mocking bird dont sing
Mamas gonna buy you a diamond ring
and if that diamond ring is glass
(I can never remember the words past this and so start to ad lib furiously)

eg Mamas gonna to get herself a new gin glass
and if that drink dont get her high
Mamas gonna to poke your Dad in the eye
and if that poke dont make him howl
Mamas gonna hit him with a big stuffed owl
and if that owl then flies away
Mamas gonna auction you on ebay
And if you dont make a good price
Mamas gonna swap you for an iron vice
And if that vice dont get a grip...

Etc etc, Ad Nauseum until the baby is asleep or his dad has cracked up laughing

Hours of sleep deprived fun.....

tigerdriver · 22/03/2009 00:55

I am so glad I am not the only mad woman here!

After bathtime, a few years ago but sometimes now:

Wrap him up like a rabbit
A great big bunny rabbit
Wrap him up tight
Like a bunny rab
Like a bunny rab with a big fat bottom

And at bedtime

Nighty nightingtons,
Sleepy tightingtons,
dont let those bedbugs bitey bitingtons,

see you in the mornington. Love ya.