Confess the lyrics of made-up songs you sing to your DC!

[BEAUTlFUL]

I have millions. When DS2 is about to stick his hand down the loo/eat caterpillars, the song goes:

"Dirty and dangerous, dangerous and dirty;
If you carry on like this you won't live to see 30."

When I'm about to change his nappy, there's a haunting melody that carries the evocative lyric: "I'm gonna do your bum, I'm going do your buummm. I'm gonna do your bum bum bum, I'm gonna do that naughty bum."

After his bath, he endures enjoys the rousing song with moving lines like, "Fresh and clean, fresh and clean, fit to be seen on a magazine/by the Queen".

Is my poor son the only baby to be subjected daily to such outpourings of rubbish?

[LibraryGirl]

Song made up to try to teach son to clap:

Clap hands, clap hands, one, two, three
I love the baby and the baby loves me
Put him in the oven, Gas Mark Three
We'll have baby for afternoon tea

[katiepotatie]

oh I forgot, DH made up the Jim Jama La song to the tune of Chim Chimney from Mary Poppins!

[BEAUTlFUL]

Yours are all so much better than mine.

Remembered another one tonight, after bath-time. when wrapping poor, shit-I-know-what-is-about-to-happen child in towel, I always sing:

"we do the cuddle and dry! Doo-be-doo-doo!
We do the cuddle and dry so the baby don't cry..."

for AGES. Till the towel has sucked all the moisture from his body and the song has sapped all the hope from his soul.

[pranma]

Ds[name]is so good we wont chop him up for firewood
Here's what we'll do instead
we'll make him into gingerbread.
Gingerbread is good to eat
First the hands[kiss and nibble]
and then the feet[ditto]
Bite the toes off one by one[pretend]
Until every bit is gone[big cuddle].
This is usually when drying etc after bath.

[tigerdriver]

I am so glad I am not the only mad woman here!

After bathtime, a few years ago but sometimes now:

Wrap him up like a rabbit
A great big bunny rabbit
Wrap him up tight
Like a bunny rab
Like a bunny rab with a big fat bottom

And at bedtime

Nighty nightingtons,
Sleepy tightingtons,
dont let those bedbugs bitey bitingtons,

see you in the mornington. Love ya.

[pingviner]

oh gods, Ive been having so much fun with this... just realised how much I enjoy mindless doggrel

Hush now baby, dont say a word, mamas going to buy you a mocking bird
and if that mocking bird dont sing
Mamas gonna buy you a diamond ring
and if that diamond ring is glass
(I can never remember the words past this and so start to ad lib furiously)

eg Mamas gonna to get herself a new gin glass
and if that drink dont get her high
Mamas gonna to poke your Dad in the eye
and if that poke dont make him howl
Mamas gonna hit him with a big stuffed owl
and if that owl then flies away
Mamas gonna auction you on ebay
And if you dont make a good price
Mamas gonna swap you for an iron vice
And if that vice dont get a grip...

Etc etc, Ad Nauseum until the baby is asleep or his dad has cracked up laughing

Hours of sleep deprived fun.....

[Mumcentreplus]

The family baby song is...
,, he/she's a lovely girl/boy...,, he/she's a lovely girl/boy... a lovely girl/boy...Boom Boom! all while clappin baby's hands (added tickle optional)...they love it..

[outnumbered2to1]

i swear my dad made this one up
to the tune of Horsey Horsey

Horsery Horsey its not fair
poor wee (DC's name) got no hair
he's got a fat belly and a double chin
and that's why his mummmy likes drinking gin

this one is all my own work (usually sung as i walk DS2 up stairs to bed strangley enough)

Climb the wooden stairs to BEDfordshire
Oh climb the wooden stairs to BEDfordshire
cos we're very very tired and we want to go to sleep
So we're climbing the wooden stairs to BEDfordshire.

And the best one my DS1 sang to me one day in the car (but since he is only 5 i'm pretty sure my dad had a hand in this one)

Twinkle Twinkle Chocolate Bar my mum drives a rusty car
It is old and its tyres are flat
and it smells like an old cat
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar my mum drives a rusty car

[zisforzebra]

Our teeth cleaning song is:

We're gonna make those teeth all shiny and new,
we're gonna make those teeth all shiny and new
We're gonna make those teeth all shiny and new
and make them sparkly white

to the tune of 'I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair from South Pacific (? - I think, my musicals knowledge is a bit ropey)

and I also sing -

You are my Samsam,
my only Samsam,
you make me happy when skies are grey etc

to the tune of You are my sunshine. Not particularly orignal but it makes my DS happy.

[LackaDAISYcal]

These are fab.....I'm pmsl at this thread

....and singing all the ditties to DH who is starting to get more than a little fed up

[LackaDAISYcal]

.....and CheeseAlarm

We used to sing that too

DS2 is 20 weeks and it's yet to be heard this time though

[LackaDAISYcal]

Finlay the grumpy baby
that's the sound, the sound of him crying
Finlay the grumpy baby
Here comes Finlay, it's time to hide

Cry, cry, cry - somebody's waking
Moan, moan, moan ? there goes Mum's smile
Whinge, whinge, whinge ? rev up your mis'ry
Here comes Finlay with all his woes

Finlay the grumpy baby
Hear the sound, the sound of him crying
Finlay the grumpy baby
Here comes Finlay, it's time to hide

I think you can guess the tune

when DS1 (PFB) was little, I made up a wee ditty that I used to sing to him all the time (all my own words and music ) and I'm to say that it still brings tears to my eyes when I sing it seven years on.

[APerson]

my baby is very sleepy
my baby is very sleepy
my baby is very sleepy
so shut up for your mummy

to the tune of my bonnie lies over the ocean

(dd is a TERRIBLE sleeper btw, but loves her "mum mum" and gives lots of kisses so it can't be upsetting her )

[hotCheeseBURNS]

I am very proud of:

Brush brush brush your teeth
Make them nice and clean
If you get a cavity it will make you scream
Aaah!

[ponto]

For singing to a relentlessly crying baby...

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Why's my baby so very unhappy?
You have got a lovely clean nappy
So why are you crying so much?

You're crying and crying and crying and crying
And crying and crying and crying and crying
And crying and crying and crying and crying
But why are you crying so much?

[Hev2008]

To the tune of Abba, take a chance on me!

If you're all alone
Cos you've done a poo
Honey I'm still free
Change your bum with me

Too much Mamma Mia when he was a newborn I think!

[BEAUTlFUL]

"Down where the air is ripe" - !

[DoodleSnoodle]

These are great!

Yet another poo one, for flushing poo-y liners from real nappies to the tune of 'Lets go fly a kite' (Mary Poppins)

Lets go flush a poo,
Flush down the smelly loo,
Lets go flush a poo and send it soaring,
Off down the sewage pipe,
Down where the air is ripe,
Lets go flush, flush a poooooooo!

[Confusedanddazed]

Another poo based one....

Oh dear what can the matter be
[insert childs name] has pooed in her naaappy
She'll be sitting in it till Saturday
Cos nobody knew it was there

So glad it's not just me!

[ARAG]

Sung lounge-singer style, with optional hairbrush microphone:

Naked time... i-in the city.....
Naked time... i-in the city.....
Naked time!
Naked time!
Make a time fo-or Naked time!
Naked time... i-in the ci-i-ty.... of luuuuuv!
Ooo-oo-ooooh...

[TheCheeseAlarm]

A rare and special occasion song in our house used to be...

Good Morning! Good Morning!
You've slept the whole night through!
Good Morning! Good Morning to you.

Good Morning! Good Morning!
It's good to sleep all night.
Good Morning! Good Morning to you.

When your mummy's had some sleep
She doesn't look a fright.
You're a star for sleeping through
It fills me with delight.

Good Morning! Good Morning!
You've slept the whole night through!
Good Morning! Good Morning to you.

[Ode2Joy]

These are all so cool! I love nappy/ toilet times which have inspired many of most creative moments! I'm so glad to have another legitimate outlet here to air them as it were!

Here are 2 few of my favourites.

This one is sung to the tune of 'Spanish Flea':

There was a little baby boo
Who smelled suspiciously of poo
And when we looked in his nappy
We found out the rumour was true
He'd done a stinky number 2!
(verse 2 is always made up on the spot)

Sung to a made-up tune at high speeds:

Nip nap nip nap nip nap nip nap
Nip nap nip nap nopper!
Nop nap nip nop nap nip
Nip nap nop nap nip nop nipper!
Nip nap paddy whack
Give his bum a little smack
Nicky nacky noodle doodle ding dang dong!

[feralgirl]

To the tune of 5 little speckled frogs:

5 fat little Freds
Sat on their mummy's legs
Eating some most delicious milk
(YUM YUM)
One jumped into the bath
And started to smile and laugh
Then there were 4 fat little Freds

[whomovedmychocolate]

To the tune of Barbie Girl (while changing nappies)

'You're a poopy girl, in a poopy world, it's fantastic, pants with no elastic'