Confess the lyrics of made-up songs you sing to your DC!

[BEAUTlFUL]

I have millions. When DS2 is about to stick his hand down the loo/eat caterpillars, the song goes:

"Dirty and dangerous, dangerous and dirty;
If you carry on like this you won't live to see 30."

When I'm about to change his nappy, there's a haunting melody that carries the evocative lyric: "I'm gonna do your bum, I'm going do your buummm. I'm gonna do your bum bum bum, I'm gonna do that naughty bum."

After his bath, he endures enjoys the rousing song with moving lines like, "Fresh and clean, fresh and clean, fit to be seen on a magazine/by the Queen".

Is my poor son the only baby to be subjected daily to such outpourings of rubbish?

[Jenbot]

To the tune of mama loves mambo:

Mummy loves baby!
And daddy loves baby!
Her name is Clara yes,
She's the best baby yet,
Oh we do love her today! Hey!

To the tune of D.I.S.C.O.

She is C, so cu-ute,
she is L, and lovely,
she is A, adorable,
she is R, really clever,
she is Aaa, aaa, aaaaa
C.L.A.R.A. she is C.L.A.R.A.

I have many more, from London bridge is falling down, to my bonny lies over the ocean, via a variety of lullabies, but they're all basically about how good my baby is and that I love her so I won't type them all out!

Glad I'm not the only one...

[BEAUTlFUL]

that's so fab!

I've noticed there are a lot of poo-led songs on the thread. Is that because we quickly realise that singing is the best way to divert a wriggling baby's attention away from trying to escape? Or are we all just a bit scat-obsessed??!

[procrastinatingparent]

My father used to sing this to me as a baby to the tune of rock-a bye baby:

Hush-a-bye baby, hush quite a lot,
bad babies get rabies and have to be shot.

[BEAUTlFUL]

LOL!!!!!!!!

[BEAUTlFUL]

LOL!!!!!!!!

[procrastinatingparent]

He thought it was very funny.

And so do I, but some people I tell are very

[tryingtoleave]

To the tune of 'house of the rising sun' (is that right?)

There was a poop called (ds name)
He was all covered in goop
And he had been the ruin of many a poor mummy
Because he would not sleep...

His mummy put him down to bed
And he bounced up again
and this went on and on and on
until she went insane

[bestfriendswithbenefits]

To the tune of Josie Jump, when DD was a baby:

Rosie B. . . . . is my name
sucking mummy's boobs is my game
I'm always sucking boobies
I put them in my mouth
I go slurp slurp slurp slurp
and then I poo it out.

DH made that one up.

[lillypie]

I love bread and marmite
I love toast and jam
That's what Mummy feeds me on
See how fat I am

Mummy love Issy,she's her favorite girl
Mummy loves Issy,her hearts in a whirl
Mummy loves Issy,she loves her the most
Mummy loves Issy and Issy loves TOAST!!

(spot the theme?)

I have been caught by the postman singing the dont stick yer fingers up me nose song and yesterday I got caught by the DHL man singing an improvised buzzy buzzy bee song while chasing dd round the garden with a bee puppet on my finger

[lljkk]

I'm a Little Fussbot
See me Pout
Take off my Nappy
Let it all hang out
When I see my mummy hear me shout
Just Pick me up and take me out.

[ummadam]

When DS is ill.. to be sang quietly while rocking

Cuddles with mummy,
and milk inside my tummy
Cuddles with daddy,
that's how we mend our laddie!



And various verses of 'she'll be coming round the mountain' depending on what he eating.

ie. He'll be eating lots of carrots when he comes. he'll be eating lots of carrots when he comes etc..

singing aye aye yummy broc-olli!
singing aye aye yummy broc-olli!
singing aye aye pasta
aye aye cheese slice
aye aye yummy broc-olli!

[hatwoman]

to the tune of Three little Fishes Swam Over the Dam:

Two little girls need to get in the bath
One'll have a giggle and the other a laugh
Two little girls need to get really clean
Coz they're the messiest grubbiest girls I have seen

a-boogie-a-boogie-a-boogie-wah-ooooo

a-boogie-a-boogie-a-boogie-wah-ooooo

One's got marmite smeared on her tum
The other's got mud all over her bum
Ones got jam all in her hair
The other's got peanut butter everywhere

a-boogie-a-boogie-a-boogie-wah-ooooo

a-boogie-a-boogie-a-boogie-wah-ooooo

Time to get out now you're all nice and clean
The sparliest shiniest girls I have seen
Time to get out and time for bed
Time to rest those sleepy heads

I love singing this - (and am quite proud of it too) we have lots of fun changing the second verse around abd getting rather silly with the "boogy-wah-oooos". The girls have grown out of it a bit now. might have to wheel it out tonight.

[WaltonAngel]

Lie me kangaroo down sport
Lie me kangaroo down!
Put a nappy on!

No prizes guessing to which tune!!!!!

[Tootles]

After bathtime and to the tune of Spiderman:

In the nip
In the nip
Eve is, Eve is
In the nip

Wearing clothes, not a chance
She likes kicking without pants
Woo-hoo, Eve is in the nip!

[Mammamoo]

to the tune of Male Stripper by Man 2 Man feat Man Parish:

I was a baby stripper in a goo goo bar
I was a baby stripper in a goo goo bar
Strip for me baby
Strip for you
Strip for me
Cos you've done a poo

I also sing his name to D.I.S.C.O sometimes.

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

To the tune of "Dingle Dangle Scarecrow"

"When mum and dad were sleeping
And DS1 had gone to bed
Up jumped DS2
And this is what he said...

I'm a whingy, whiney baby
With a dirty, smelly bot.
I will cry and cry for hours
If you leave me in my cot."

It got me through some long sleepless nights and really worked to get him back to sleep (so much so that I recorded it onto his cot soother thingy and just had to press the button to hear it )

[katiepotatie]

DH has the Ravioli song to the tune of Bob the builder, to get her to eat her tea once, it's stuck now, DD loves it

Ravioli can we eat it....Yes we can!

[PandasMummy]

'Its Nappy Time...Da da da da..dada..dada Nappy Time..da da da etc etc,
Just like MC Hammer..without the Hammer.

[Wigeon]

Why am I surprised that other people do this too? When DD was born DH said he'd write her a song (he's a music teacher). Thought it would be sweet and romantic. So far this is masterpiece he's come up with (sung at least once a day for the last 9 months, with a jolly nursery-rhyme-esque tune he?s composed):

One, two, three, we're changing your nappy
Four, five, six, you like your Weetabix
Seven, eight, nine, we're having a lovely time
A-a-nd now we're up to ten and it's time to start again.

Variations:

One, two, three, the French say ?mais, oui!?
Four, five, six, the Dead live by the Styx
Seven, eight, nine, Geordies live by the Tyne
A-a-nd now we're up to ten and it's time to start again.

One, two, three, a beetle and a bee
Four, five, six, they lived in a house of sticks
Seven, eight nine, they ate insects all the time
A-a-nd now we're up to ten and it's time to start again

And so on.

[blithedance]

One, two, you've done a poo
Three, four, a little bit more
Five, six, it really stinks
Seven eight, aspyxiate
Nine, ten, all clean again!

Quite miss it now they are out of nappies.

[SoMuchToBits]

To the tune of "Michael Finnegan"

There was a young man called Jonathan Bonathan
He'd one sock off and one sock on-athan
He didn't know where the other one had gone-athan
And that's what happened to Jonathan Bonathan!

[ijustwant8hours]

twinkle twinkle little man
would you like to drive a van
up and down the city streets,
talk to people that you meet
twinkle twinkle little man
would you like to drive a van..

He is starting to get confused at singing time at playgroup now

[aliblenk]

I just love all these songs, as I am a great fan of parodies. I've put a whole lot of songs (and jokes, cartoons and funny stories) about breastfeeding and motherhood into a book, called Fit to Bust (proceeds to Baby Milk Action). Here's a flavour:

NAPPY TALK (tune:?Happy talk? from S Pacific)

Refrain
Nappy talk, keep talking nappy talk;
talk about baby?s pee and poo.
You?ve got to throw away excreta every day,
but you needn?t throw the nappy too.

3 verses follow, extolling the virtues of washable nappies!

THE 5 DAYS OF FEEDING (tune:?The 12 days of Christmas?)

On the first day of feeding, your babe will give to you
a wee and a sticky black poo.

On the second day of feeding, your babe will give to you
two little wees and a less sticky, thinner dark poo.

On the third day of feeding, your babe will give to you
three little wees, two little burps and a big greeny-browny soft poo.

On the fourth day of feeding, your babe will give to you
four little wees, three little farts, two little burps and a nice runny toffee-brown poo.

On the fifth day of feeding, your babe will give to you
five bi-ig wees;
four little farts,
three big burps,
two overflows,
and a large golden mustard-seed poo!

Contact me for more information!
Alison Blenkinsop www.linkable.biz

[Fawnie]

hey hey, i thought it was just me!

for a couple of weeks now i've been thinking i've woken up in an opera, i seem to sing so much to DD, usual nursery rhymes and our own daily routines:

"we're going to get you washed and dressed,
washed and dressed
washed and dressed

we're going to get your washed and dressed,
cos it's earl-y in the mor-ning."

and i'm vaguely remembering guide camp songs, not all of which are suitable but some are very funny!