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Original poster

Is it true that you love your second baby just like your first.......?

40 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 21/02/2009 22:21

....because I am sooooooooooooooo much in love with my DS that I think ' how will I love another just as much? Do I have enough love to go round?' I know that must sound daft but I hope you know what I mean- my DS is my world and I am so very excited about DC2 coming this summer and I am sure I will love him / her too but sometimes it just seems like... where will I get all the love from??? Hope that makes sense...

So what's it been like for all you who've had >1 baby???

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CompareTheMeerkat · 21/02/2009 22:23

I fell in love with DD the second she was born .

I was worried about how my love would stretch, but it did

CeceliaAhern · 21/02/2009 22:25

Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!

gigglewitch · 21/02/2009 22:26

yes - i loved all three of mine the moment we met. Now they're a bit bigger, I realise that the love's not exactly the same for each one - but equally most definitely. I love them equally but differently, if that makes any sense. like you love your mum and your dad differently perhaps? and there are no limits on quantities, you do not have to get love in bags like sugar

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MinkyBorage · 21/02/2009 22:27

unbelievably you do, absolutely definitely

CactusJack · 21/02/2009 22:28

No you don't love your second the way that you love your first but you do love your second just as much

warthog · 21/02/2009 22:28

the love IS different, because you are a different person and it's a different baby. but by no means less or more. i LOVE loving two. it's just gorgeous, and second time round you appreciate things a little more because you know they're transitory.

wrinklytum · 21/02/2009 22:29

Yes,don't panic.You don't think you will ever be able to love another as much as your first but you do(Even if they spend the first six months of their life being a screaming monster) The love just expands

Mummyfor3 · 21/02/2009 22:31

OMG, yes!!

Love for you children just keep expanding, a bit like space, I suppose : I love DS1, love DS2, love DS3... and hopefully, one day, will love DC4...

nickschick · 21/02/2009 22:31

This question made me physically ill I too worried so much about this with ds3 that I made myself sick with worry and i remember sobbing so loud it hurt my ribs fearful i hadnt enough love to share between 3 boys - how could there be extra love inside that I wasnt already giving my 2ds??

A very wise midwife told me that the stork delivers a heartfull of extra love aling with the baby- she was right it does!!

piscesmoon · 21/02/2009 22:36

There isn't a finite amount of love-it just expands. They are an entirely different person so it isn't the same. Don't worry-you will be looking back at this and wondering how you could have thought it was a problem!

sweetkitty · 21/02/2009 22:39

Agree with everyone else they day you second is born your love just doubles.

It doesn't sound daft at all I felt the exact same

HecateQueenOfGhosts · 21/02/2009 22:40

Yes.

TheCrackFox · 21/02/2009 22:40

Yes, there is enough love to go round. I actually enjoyed being a mum more the 2nd time round because I knew what I was doing. There isn't that terrifying fear of the unknown.

Heated · 21/02/2009 22:44

Agree with CrackFox totally.

foxinsocks · 21/02/2009 22:46

I promise you, so many people feel that way.

I remember thinking 'just HOW do you fit any more love in' after I had my first and got pregnant with my second. I didn't think there was space!

You just can't really think that it could be possible. But for some reason, enough love just squeezes in there .

LoveaDAISYcal · 21/02/2009 22:46

absolutely.

I've just had DC3 and it amazes me that the love for the older ones wasn't diminished by the arrival of the next one. As gigglewitch says, it's a bit different for each one, but I think that's because they are at different stages of development if that makes sense.....and of course there are moments when you are so spitting mad with the older ones for being mean to the younger ones, but the love is always there.

The love I feel for them collectively though, is so overwhelming sometimes that I feel like I'm going to burst.

PrettyCandles · 21/02/2009 22:47

I don't mean to flame you, or insult you in any way, ilikey, but your "how will I love another just as much?" question has never made any sense to me. Virtually every mum-of-one I have ever met has said this when expecting or discussing having another child. But it never occured to me when I was in that situation. I looked forward to the multiplication of my love!

There is absolutely no limit to the amount of love your heart can hold. With every child I have had, my capacity for love has increased. My love for dh, too, not just for our babies.

If anything, I feel that already having a child primed me to love my second dc. Although I felt a bond with ds1 the moment I looked into his eyes, it took nearly a week before I realised that I was beigning to love him, and then that love grew and grew. But I loved my next child, dd, with all my heart from the instant I first held her. And the same for my third child, ds2. Though, oddly, it took me longer to bond with ds2 than with either of the others.

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 21/02/2009 22:50

Yes, yes, yes.

I had a DD first and desperately wanted her to have a sister. Knew that DC2 would be a boy, and worried myself sick I wouldn't be able to love a second child enough, esp. a boy.

But, as I always tell him during a cuddle 'There is a little place right at the bottom of my heart, and you make it feel really warm'. I love 'im so much it 'urts.

HeinzSight · 21/02/2009 22:53

It's absolutely true.

I know what you're saying. It's almost like you feel disloyal to your child -the thought of loving your unborn child as much. You wonder whether you'll have to share some of the love already given, but in all honestly, you make more love! There is really no limit to the amount of love you can make!!

WriggleJiggle · 21/02/2009 22:56

Not for me. I love dd2 very very dearly, but in a completely different way to dd1. dd1 will always be my pfb. dd2 will always be my little baby. Totally different in character, so totally different sort of love (if that makes sense)

strawberrycornetto · 21/02/2009 22:56

I completely agree with LightShines. Also had DD then DS and really worried. I was put off having another DC after DD for several years, but I completely adore them both now, more than I thought possible. Seeing how loving DD is towards DS has made me love her even more. Agree with Gigglewitch about the different ways, and that the things you love about them are different because they are at different stages, but having found so much extra love, I'd really love to have no.3 now.

jemart · 21/02/2009 22:58

Actually, I think I love the second dd even more.

psychomum5 · 21/02/2009 23:00

oh god yes.

and you love you third the same too.

and your fourth

and your fifth

did you know that your heart is actually infinity size, and it adds to it for each baby, not takes anything away from #1.

if anything, the love you feel for our first enhances the love you feel for each of your subsequent children. it has done so for me

Original poster
ilikeyoursleeves · 22/02/2009 20:37

Thanks all, very reassuring replies! I am sure I will love DC2 just as much but because (s)he's not here yet my mind is all all over the place!

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blueshoes · 22/02/2009 21:34

I love my second as much as first - how they are similar in some ways and different in others. I love the way dd loves ds and the way ds loves dd and how they play together, look out for each other and will have the other when dh and I are gone.