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Parenting

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Original poster

Is it true that you love your second baby just like your first.......?

40 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 21/02/2009 22:21

....because I am sooooooooooooooo much in love with my DS that I think ' how will I love another just as much? Do I have enough love to go round?' I know that must sound daft but I hope you know what I mean- my DS is my world and I am so very excited about DC2 coming this summer and I am sure I will love him / her too but sometimes it just seems like... where will I get all the love from??? Hope that makes sense...

So what's it been like for all you who've had >1 baby???

OP posts:

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Miyazaki · 22/02/2009 21:35

they bring their own love with them. It's extra, not stretched!

CarofromWton · 22/02/2009 21:36

Oh yes - love them exactly the same amount even though they are so different!

DamonBradleylovesPippi · 22/02/2009 21:40

miyazaki what you say is so true.

I was as worried as you, exactly like you put it. we all were, dh and I. all my friend report the same worry. totally unfounded but but you'll never believe it in your heart till you experience it.

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Bonnycat · 22/02/2009 21:47

Yes,I was worried sick and told my mum .She takes great pleasure in reminding me.
DS is totally different to DD,a total nightmare for the first 12 months,had PND this time round too but never for even one second have i felt anything other than total love for him...

BakewellTarts · 22/02/2009 21:50

Absolutely...turns out love is unlimited.

Love both my DDs to bits.

Sidge · 22/02/2009 22:01

Absolutely and totally!

I love all 3 my girls equally, and in some ways love them more as I love them now they are sisters not just a singleton. I love seeing them together, I love the love they have for each other and I love how having more children affects the dynamic of the whole family.

Sorry that sounds quite cheesy but when you have your second you'll know what I mean!

elkiedee · 22/02/2009 22:06

I've just had my second baby this month, and not only do I love him as much but differently, possibly in a way things are better because I've been more prepared for how hard it can be. At the same time, though, his brother's arrival has brought out just how loveable ds1 is.

southeastastra · 22/02/2009 22:07

no my second son is a complete pita

intheLiffey · 22/02/2009 22:09

It took me longer to fall in love with dc2. I was so frazzled, and his birth hadn't transformed me into a mother, but now, yes, I love #2 every bit as much.

Milliways · 22/02/2009 22:16

I remember looking at DD sleeping just before DS was born and thinking "how can I love another THIS much"?

Then he arrived and I found out - instantly

Tis wonderful how we were all designed.

snickersnack · 22/02/2009 22:30

I fell in love with ds much more quickly than dd. I was so shell shocked by her birth and generally traumatised by being a parent for the first time that it took us a while to bond. With ds I felt that rush of love as soon as he was put on my chest.

Now they are a bit older, I can't believe how much I love them both. With equal intensity, but in different ways as they are such different people. I think having them both means I love them both more, as I can see how wonderful they are to each other and how much they adore each other, and that in turn makes me love them both more than ever. Does that make any sense?

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 22/02/2009 22:34

It's like when anyone knew who you love comes into your life, you love them for them, it's not condencing the love you already have.

littlelamb · 22/02/2009 22:36

Yes, it's absolutely true and it's one of those things that comes as a complete shock when you are pg with number 2- the worry it caused me was ridicolous and people seem so reluctant to talk about it irl. Someone told me that you go through a period of almost mourning the change in your relationship with your firstborn and I think that's a good way of describing it. I loved it being just me and dd but I didn't appreciate it until ds was already on the way and it worried me no end that I would never love him in the same way and that I was doing dd a disservice by having another baby. It is difficult going from one to two, physically it's very demanding and emotionally it can be hard too, espscially early on when you are physically exhausted and irrationally hormonal. I actually found ds far easier to 'fall in love with' than dd, even though so far he is a much more demanding baby. But yes, you do love them the same, and what's even better, especially now ds is 8 mo and very responsive is seeing the way they love each other as well

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 23/02/2009 01:15

I only have 1 DS, but I'm sure that my heart will stretch for future DCs - after all I don't love DH or my family or friends any less because I have DS. I think hearts work better at loving people with practice.

spinspinsugar · 23/02/2009 01:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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