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Original poster

Diplomacy tips needed please - irritating grandparent pet name

105 replies

IrritatingPetName · 13/02/2009 10:38

Resisted posting this in AIBU (deep down I probably am) but something is really bothering me and I'd appreciate some advice from all you lovely minor family dilemma experts

My MIL and FIL use a ridiculous name for 'grandad' that sets my teeth on edge. They used it for their other, now teenaged, grandchildren, it always bothered me then, but hey - none of my business, right?

However, now its being used for their new little GD, who is just getting to the talking stage, but a probably few months off and I feel I really want to nip it in the bud before we get stuck with it forever.

How, oh how, do I approach this knotty problem without causing offence, turning it into a big deal?

We don't see them that often, as they don't live close by, but we have weekly phone-calls and will soon be going away on holiday with them. I have an okay relationship with them, but not bosom buddies, so it's not something I could slip in casually.

Oh and before you ask - DH is no help on this. He agrees with me, but doesn't feel strongly about this kind of thing. Men, hey?

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bellavita · 13/02/2009 10:39

what is the "pet" name?

georgiemum · 13/02/2009 10:39

Go on tell us!

Original poster
IrritatingPetName · 13/02/2009 10:41

... hmmmm...

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Original poster
IrritatingPetName · 13/02/2009 10:42

...you probably won't find it that bad, but it truly gets on my wick...

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 13/02/2009 10:43

Aww leave 'em be

They see the GCs rarely enough, give them a bit of pleasure in their dotage, no?

PLus you may well find that Grandad is called Bampy or DanDan by GD and that pronunciation will stick

I suggest you start referring to Grandma and DanDan PDQ

BitOfFun · 13/02/2009 10:44

Just use the word you prefer copiously with your ds?

MrsJoeMcIntyre · 13/02/2009 10:47

My mum is referred to as Woo Woo. It'll ne interesting for dd when she is 15, but for now, I let it slide.

MrsJoeMcIntyre · 13/02/2009 10:47

be

Original poster
IrritatingPetName · 13/02/2009 10:47

I know BALD, I do feel a tad mean, but aaarrrgh, just one of those things that is an itch I can't scratch...bbbbut, mmmm-must scratch

To avoid unnececessary build up, it's "pappa" - you know like frickin Pappa Smurf. Arrrrrgh

I am religiously saying grandpa, but as they are fans of lengthy third-person conversations with DD, it's a battle of wits!!!

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thisisyesterday · 13/02/2009 10:47

hehe my mum is known as Gamwaaaa

dp's parents are "nanpops" and "the other nanpops" pmsl

AMumInScotland · 13/02/2009 10:48

If you consistently refer to him as "Grandad" or whatever term you choose, and your DC aren't in daily contact, then your term will be the one that your DC will use. When the PIL use their term, you can translate it "Oh she means Grandad".

thisisyesterday · 13/02/2009 10:48

ohhh pappa is fine!

MrsJoeMcIntyre · 13/02/2009 10:48

Pappa is infintely better than Woo Woo! Leave it alone.

MrsJoeMcIntyre · 13/02/2009 10:48

Oh for the love of God, I cannot spell today.

bellavita · 13/02/2009 10:49

IPN - pappa isn't that bad!

Original poster
IrritatingPetName · 13/02/2009 10:50

I guess I wouldn't mind as much if DD had come up with it...[double-standard!!]

...there's still time, before I bite my knuckles down to bloody stumps!

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purplemonkeydishwasher · 13/02/2009 10:51

not sure why that bugs you. it's a common word for grandpa.

but since it does bug you, well, actually there's not much you can do really. except hope that your DC morph it into something less annoying (unlikely). My DS calls my MIL Ga btw. now that's annoying!

MrsJoeMcIntyre · 13/02/2009 10:51

My mum chose Woo Woo. It's all very odd. I don't think Pappa is that bad. It just reminds me of the Clio advert.

cory · 13/02/2009 11:00

Well, this is really part of your dd's relationship with her grandparents, so not exactly under your control. I'd leave it as it is not actually offensive.

Original poster
IrritatingPetName · 13/02/2009 11:01

Any more tips from the non-'live and let live' crowd are appreciated - c'mon I know there's some seething/boiling/raging types out there on the board. Give me a giggle at least. G'wan.

We're seeing them this weekend, so I will have to install my tooth-grinding device

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NellieKnott · 13/02/2009 11:05

Pappa would bug me too You probably won't be able to stop your FILs from using it but can keep reinforcing the word Grandad to your DD until she's about 3 or 4 when you can start using brides/threats to enforce it!

noonki · 13/02/2009 11:06

maybe start calling your DP Nicole

basementbear · 13/02/2009 11:06

I once had a boyfriend whose Grandpa and Granny were called "Boompa" and "GanGan" - he had given them those names when he was a toddler and they stuck! Very embarrassing form him when he was 17 though

Milkmade · 13/02/2009 11:09

Start calling your MIL Niclole and wait for her to put an end to it? (or alternatively condemn yourself to 30 years of explaining to everyone why you call MIL Nicole when her name's actually Joan...)

Original poster
IrritatingPetName · 13/02/2009 11:11

Nellie - I like your style!

hmmm, bribery, that would never back-fire right?

I think the fact that the teenaged GC's also use it prolifically, is continuing bug-factor for my curmudgeonly self. Surely they'll drop it soon... [hopeful]

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