at what age did you leave you PFB over night for the first time?

[liznay]

I'm waiting to give birth to my first baby any day now (am 4 days overdue!)
However, I've been invited to a hen do in London at the end of April which involves an overnight stay (although I live close enough in Surrey to come home and then return the next day)
My friends/family with Children tell me that I won't want to leave the baby and anyway as I'm breastfeeding this will be difficult.
My OH and childless friends can't see what the problem is and said 'oh its only one night'
Obviously having never had a baby before I don't know how I'm going to feel.

How old was your baby the first time you left him/her and did you regret it? Or have you been in this situation and how did you react. I need to let the organsier know what I plan to do in the next few days - HELP!
thanks for reading x

still waiting

dd is 6

my dd is nearly 6 and i havent left her

I didn't even leave my pfb with my Mum during the day until she was about 10 month, she begged to have her overnight almost from the day she was born. She first stayed over at 18 months. By the time I had the third dc I was a lot more relaxed.

12 weeks

night before wedding, went with 9now) dh to stay at MIL's, obv not BF
and a wek after that both of us left him for a week honeymoon

wasn't entirely ahppy about it truth be told but on balance was worth it. Not sure i'd have done it for a hen night though and I would refuse to commit, just say you'll ahve to see closer tot he time- some women find expressing ahrd for examlpe (I always ahve done, ds4 is fully bf but not ebm)

If you want to go, then go. There are ways of getting around it. If breastfeeding you could express into a bottle and see if the baby will be willing to take that occasionally, in preparation for when you go. By April, your supply will be established enough for you to be able to do this and you can also expess while you're away to relieve the fullness / keep up your supply.

My first DD was 10 months when I left her overnight for the first time.

I wouldnt have been able to leave a baby who wsa wholly breastfed overnight, I never would have managed to express enough, also I wouldnt have been able apart from a baby of that age.

around 5 months.

she was with my parents though who i trust more than anyone so even though i missed her and called home so much that my mum unplugged the phone () i did have a good time and enjoyed being "me" for the night.

i was not breastfeeding though so this might be your stumbling block.

still waiting. Ds 2 and a half.

I think my DD was about 18 months, she was a terrible sleeper and I was terrified about my poor mum being up all night, what her neighbours would say etc etc.

In the event she slept for THIRTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT !!

We didn't leave ds overnight until he was around a year old. The only people I felt comfortable leaving him with were my mum and dad and they weren't comfortable having him overnight until then.

You really won't know how you are going to feel - if you have a baby that sleeps through the night from an early age etc then you might feel more comfortable leaving them - I would have felt guilty expecting my mum and dad to get up during the night etc. If you are breastfeeding it will be difficult to express enough milk - you need to be sure baby will take a bottle from whoever is looking after them - your breasts will also be extremely uncomfortable if you don't feed for any length of time.

It will be difficult but only you will know how you feel at the time.

I first left DS with DH (has never been left with anyone else overnight and is 2.7)when he was 6 months old, and fully breastfed. I was very used to expressing though, and it was for work.

He was 23 1/2 months old and I went to London for a night out while my DH looked after him.

Some mothers are happy to leave a three month old baby for a night but in my experience most are not, whether or not they are breastfeeding. Some people will tell you expressing is the answer. In my opinion and experience it is not.

You may want to go so don't rule it out, but I'd be keeping quiet and come up with a terrible vomiting bug for you and the baby when the time comes if required. If they haven't got children they won't understand and it's unlikely they'll be able to understand however much you explain. They'll get it when they have their own, but for the moment a bit of white lie-ing may be the easiest way out without upsetting your friends.

Agree with electra

I still haven't (2.1 ) although that's partly lack of organisational skills and partly lack of invitations to fun things.

My sil went on two hen weekends when my nephew was tiny. The first one she took him with her (was a weekend in log cabin in the middle of nowhere sort of thing, not clubs & spas). The second one he was probably about 4 months and she left him with my brother. Was at least partially ff by then I think though.

Personally, I probably couldn't have left ds at that age, however I was a pretty good expresser so technically could have with some planning.

If you need to commit now then I'd say no. If you can change your mind nearer the time then I suppose you can't tell until the baby's born really.

16 days for us - left DS with MIL and took wobbly arse into town for Valentines evening. Fell asleep after 2 glasses wine .

Was BFing, but already expressing as had had nightmare latching, so left ebf with MIL, and expressed about 3 times in absence.

Realise now that was probably freaky to do an overnight so soon, but still happy to believe that other people much better at this baby/child-care lark than me .

Was also quite glad to get the first overnight out of the way early, as would subsequently meet mother of 2yo DCs who still hadn't had even a night out with their DPs...

Still haven't done it and don't feel the need to do it. DS is nearly 21 months.
I am one of the few people I know with children of DS's age who hasn't left their DC overnight.
But each to their own. It's whatever feels right for you.

I left my ds overnight when he was about 3/4 weeks I think. I know it was early...... It was definately before 8 weeks.
I ff so wasn't such an issue about feeds, but you can express and freeze.
Maybe you should wait until baby is here and see how you feel.

I left DS when he was 5 months old for 2 nights when me and DP went to Italy. I had stopped breastfeeding at that time so that wasnt a problem. I dont regret leaving him at all. A very good friend of mine looked after him in our house while we were gone and the only untoward thing that happened was that his first tooth came through while we were gone . He didnt miss us at all.....he has always been very independant in that way.

However my DD is 11 months old and breastfed and I dont think I could leave her overnight, even if I wasnt breastfeeding. She is very dependant and loves hugs and nursing.

Of course you cant tell what your baby will be like. It is only one night though and you wont be that far away if you're needed. You can prepare leaving ebm for the baby so DH can bottle feed.
I would book it....you can always change your mind.

18 months. I would have been happy to leave him with my mum from about a year but he was (and still is) a dreadful sleeper. He didn't sleep well.

We have not repeated this experiment!

Have only ever left the DCs overnight with DH. First time, PFB was about 12 months and it was for work, otherwise I probably wouldn't have gone.

I actually left ds at 6 months for 8 nights - and he was fully breasfed! I did a lot of expressing beforehand and while I was away.

It was an "extra" skiing holiday with dh after he had knackered his knee early on the holiday we had taken when ds was only 4 months old, just before I started back at work (ds came with us that time)

It worked for me - but then, I had been back at work ft since he was 4 months old, was used to expressing - and he had slept through from near enough 2 weeks old ()

I had also gone out for a meal with dh when ds was only a few weeks old on the advice of my best friend (mother of 4) as she said "it would only get harder the longer you leave it".

pfg was 12 month. I am on no 3 and when I get married in April he will be 5.5 months and I will not be leaving him night b4 wedding as he is breastfed and can't see it working out.

wow, thanks for all your replies. My gut says that I definitely won't want to leave the baby even if I'm expressing (i've bought an electric pump so that OH can help out with feeding).
I think it might just be safer to say that I'll go for the daytime elements and then come back home in the evening .
The reason I'm worrying is that the girl who is organising the hen do left her baby at 3 weeks old overnight (Formula fed) and was out with me and the bride-to-be for said bride's birthday last year. So now everyone thinks this is normal to leave a new baby including the bride-to-be!

We left our first child overnight with my parents when he was around 10 months. And no, I didn't regret it, we had a lovely time (I did ring 4 times in a day )

I wouldn't have left mine at that age though, as I was breastfeeding quite often, and no, I wouldn't have been able to leave them.