at what age did you leave you PFB over night for the first time?

[liznay]

I'm waiting to give birth to my first baby any day now (am 4 days overdue!)
However, I've been invited to a hen do in London at the end of April which involves an overnight stay (although I live close enough in Surrey to come home and then return the next day)
My friends/family with Children tell me that I won't want to leave the baby and anyway as I'm breastfeeding this will be difficult.
My OH and childless friends can't see what the problem is and said 'oh its only one night'
Obviously having never had a baby before I don't know how I'm going to feel.

How old was your baby the first time you left him/her and did you regret it? Or have you been in this situation and how did you react. I need to let the organsier know what I plan to do in the next few days - HELP!
thanks for reading x

Thanks for the large number of replies. Just had an e mail to say that the plans have changed and we are now just meeting up for a nice meal in London and only those that want to will have to stay over night - so i can get DP or taxi to drop me home.
All I have to do now is worry about how I will cope at the wedding!

really interesting to see how others have coped with leaving your LO's. My DP seems to think that we will be dropping off our baby at his mum's on a regular basis so we can 'go back to normal' and have a social life again after the baby is born. me thinks he is in for a shock !!

Umm, should I mention that I couldn't even get an evening away from dd until she was 9 months, and haven't considered leaving ds (13.5wks) yet either?

DS was 17 months before I left him overnight (with his nanny) - had to wait until then as he was breastfed at nights until around 16 months.

Yes, I think DH thought when I was pregnant that we would keep DS in a drawer until he was about 12 at which point he would pop off to boarding school. There wasn't going to be any brightly coloured plastic in our house, oh no.

I am not kidding.

DS is now 22 months and the apple of daddy's eye. He has completely taken over our lives but DH doesn't seem to have noticed. It was DH's birthday on Saturday. He chose to spend it taking me and DS to pub for lunch then at soft play. To say he would have run a mile from such a situation this time 2 years ago is the understatement of the century.

I know that my DH seemed to think that, because his mum was staying with us for 6 weeks after DS was born, we would be able to go out for dinner one evening. He soon got over that idea - bf'ing took too long and too much out of me and DS had an inguinal hernia so we couldn't leave him to cry long as the bulge bulged more and risked being trapped.

DH is actually pretty good at understanding the not-leaving him thing - I keep saying it's as much for the babysitter's mental health as for DS's sake - he can cry non-stop for hours. It's very boring but he will do it.

liznay how old will he be at the wedding? I took DS to a wedding at 9mo - he was brilliant, no prob in the service (or I would have taken him straight out) and pretty good at the reception. We were staying at the hotel where the reception was held, so after the meal I took DS up to feed and change him. About 9ish I took him up to get him ready for bed, last feed, he fell asleep so I put him back in the pram (laid flat on blankets but still in harness) and brought him back down asleep. He stayed asleep for a while, then woke up again and had another look around; finally took him up to bed about 11 (I know, bad selfish mum ) and DH came up about an hour later.

No problems.

Left my DS overnight with my mum from very early on. I actually went to NYC for 5 days when he was 4 mths old and left him with her. Wouldnt have left him with anyone else, though. Still wouldn't (except perhaps my sister) and he's nearly 4 yrs old

georgimama I don't think the men know what's coming until it hits them do they? I think DP will be a wonderful dad though apart from his slighly naive attitude to 'getting back to normal'.

thumbwitch baby will be nearly 4 months old at the wedding but its being held 1/2 hour away from where my mum lives, so plan is to leave baby with her during the day and then come back and stay at hers in the evening. Its a catholic wedding, so although the bride has allowed me to bring baby to the service, can't see how that is going to be much fun for anyone as they tend to be quite long ceremonies and can't see a tiny baby being quiet for that long??. Children are banned from the reception, but I wasn't planning to have the baby there in the evneing anyway as mum said she would come and get him/her for that part. I guess I'll make my mind up nearer the time.

Anyway, what I really want is for this much talked about baby to make an appearance now, I'm sick of being pregnant

I left my DT'S with MIL while DP and I went to my sisters wedding. They were about 7 weeks old. However, when the reception finished I took the taxi to her house rather than home! I didn't do the night feeds, but felt better for being there in the morning. I couldn't breast feed anyway. The next time she took them they were 4 months, and it's a regular event now. They also go and stay at my sisters overnight. DT's are 9 mths. I was exhausted from day one and had post natal depression, so, for me, having a night off was necessary, and still is. I still hate being away from them, but I need to sleep and recharge my batteries for them coming back. DP works away.It is personal to everyone though. Go with how you feel yourself.

hate to be negative but at 4 months my dd only incredibly rarely went for as long as 3hrs without a bf... surely a 4 month old doesn't count as a 'child' at the reception - they're only just not a bump!
we took dd to a catholic wedding when she was 8 months and i kept her quiet with cheesy biscuits all the way through until she did a large poo during the vows...

I've taken DS (now 2 1/2) to numerous weddings - all our friends and relatives seemed to decide to get hitched in the 2 years since we had him! (including us).

I would say the younger they are, the easier it is. DS's first wedding was at 8 weeks, I bfed him (very discreetly) during the service and he behaved like an angel but I did make sure that I was on the end of an aisle in case I needed to make an escape. Then he came to the evening reception and slept in his carry cot under the table until 9pm when we took him up to our room, I gave him a big bf and we took turns sitting with him until about midnight, when I went to bed.

My cousin got married when DS was exactly 4 months - he did play up a bit in the (very long, very Catholic) service but DH took him out quickly and he didn't disturb anyone. At the reception he slept in his pram until 10 pm and we drove home while he was still asleep.

I agree with what others have said - DS never went much beyond 3 hours until he was well on solids. And I also agree that surely a 4 month old baby is not counted as a child for the reception? What people generally mean by that is that they don't want hoards of kids hopped up on wedding cake racing round the hall and that they can't afford to pay for the extra spaces at the table. A baby doesn't cost anything or interfere with anyone.