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Parenting

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Original poster

at what age did you leave you PFB over night for the first time?

86 replies

liznay · 12/01/2009 13:25

I'm waiting to give birth to my first baby any day now (am 4 days overdue!)
However, I've been invited to a hen do in London at the end of April which involves an overnight stay (although I live close enough in Surrey to come home and then return the next day)
My friends/family with Children tell me that I won't want to leave the baby and anyway as I'm breastfeeding this will be difficult.
My OH and childless friends can't see what the problem is and said 'oh its only one night'
Obviously having never had a baby before I don't know how I'm going to feel.

How old was your baby the first time you left him/her and did you regret it? Or have you been in this situation and how did you react. I need to let the organsier know what I plan to do in the next few days - HELP!
thanks for reading x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

preggersplayspop · 12/01/2009 16:01

I've not done it yet (DS is 19 mo). He still breastfeeds through the night and I never managed to get him onto a bottle and I was rubbish at expressing. I seem to have loads of milk but I just can't pump it for some reason. I went to a wedding where no babies were allowed when he was 8 weeks old and asked my parents to come and have a mini-break so they could look after him while I popped back to the room every so often to give him a feed!

fruitful · 12/01/2009 16:17

The other consideration is whether you will feel like partying all night. My dd was feeding for 45 minutes, every couple of hours round the clock at that age, and not napping during the day unless she was moving - i.e. unless I was awake too.

If I'd had someone who'd have taken her overnight, I would have happily handed her over. And then I'd have gone straight to bed and slept for 16 hours.

(ds1 and ds2 weren't as bad - don't panic!)

cory · 12/01/2009 17:56

Dd was 6 months old when I left her for the first time, to go abroad for a 4 day conference. Felt a bit emotional but was really glad I went. Did not worry about her (she was fine with her Dad), but felt a little vulnerable and fragile myself.

Ds spent his first night away from me when he was a few weeks old, as we thought his Granddad was dying and dh rushed the baby down to let him see it before he went (upon which he promptly recovered).

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chosenone · 12/01/2009 20:12

It is different for everyone and as you will see FF babies and BF babies make different demands on mums! I left PFB at 4 months and was a committed BF so spent a week expressing 24 ozs of breast milk, when i got back from my friends 30th my boobs were literally exploding! I expressed about 4 ozs off each! Same thing when I woke up in the morning! It was uncomfortable but I felt it was worth it! With my 2nd I had a hen night when she was 2 weeks old and I did similar but came home at 2am so DH fed EBM in night and I fed her in the morning! Its hard when FF mums think BF is getting in the way of important social events but you only get one chance to BF your babies and for me it was worth the hassle of all the above! electric pumps are very weird but youy do get used to them! good luck

theyoungvisiter · 12/01/2009 20:16

2 years - I just could not have done it before, and I moved heaven and earth at work to not have to do overnight stays.

I can't see how you can say either way - DS never took a bottle though before I had him I naively assumed I'd just express if I needed to leave him and that would be that.

Hulababy · 12/01/2009 20:19

DD was nearly 3y before we left her overnight. Before that our parents came and babysat at our house as it just seemed more convenient, esp as DD was not a good sleeper.

We almost left her overnight, albeit at our house, when we went to see Robbie Williams in cncert when she wa about 14m old - it was gone 5am by tme we got home.

We finally had her stay overnght by actually finding a specific reason to go away completely on our own and left her at my parents for the night. She has since down two nights, but only in last year or so and she is now 6y.

thequietone · 12/01/2009 20:20

He was three. I had C Section for his little brother so had to be in hospital for 5 days. They were born 3 years 2 days apart so not only did I leave him for 5 days, but also missed his 3rd birthday.

He was fine - had a whale of a time with DH, staying up late with treats and trips out etc.

GColdtimer · 12/01/2009 20:23

I left DD for 2 nights when she was 4 months for a wedding I was bridesmaid at. First night she stayed with DH, second night my mum. I had stopped BF by this time so no problems there.

It was fine actually and because I did it so early I have happily left her since and at 2.8 she will happily stay anywhere - she thinks it is a big adventure.

I think you will just have to wait and see how you feel.

hellabell · 12/01/2009 21:20

I missed a good friend's wedding this summer as I realised ds at 6 months would have hairy fit if he didn't get what he was wanting in middle of night (my ample bosom), and I tried to be grown up about it realising it would be selfish of me to let him and MIL suffer just for my sake... did he thank me for it? No. Did bride understand my absence? No, got stroppy e-mail about loyalty. Did I make right decision? Probably. Going away in 2 weeks for 2 nights though (he now 11 mo) and I am pretty calm about it!

MrsDoylesMole · 12/01/2009 21:21

I have never

BigFurryStripeyTiger · 12/01/2009 21:24

The only time I have leftn my children overnight is when I have been in hosp due to pg complications/and the csections to deliver them. DH stayed with them.

susia · 12/01/2009 21:28

left my son for the first time at 6months but was with my mum and spent whole night phoning her! didn't feel comfortable about it and the pain from not breastfeeding (even though I expressed, I woke up three times in the night to express...) made it a bit of a nightmare.

usernamechanged345 · 12/01/2009 21:28

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susia · 12/01/2009 21:30

I can remember going to an overnight party when my son was about 12 months old and my mum having ds. I was so looking forward to going...so that I could have an undisturbed night and a lie in!! didn't take much notice of the party as I just wanted a sleep

usernamechanged345 · 12/01/2009 21:33

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CantSleepWontSleep · 12/01/2009 21:34

2 years and 1 month iirc. Even then I couldn't go mad on a night out as I was already 12 weeks pregnant with ds!

CantSleepWontSleep · 12/01/2009 21:37

Right, have read OP now rather than just title, and would say that if you are bf, then no way will you want/be able to go, unless you are very very lucky in having a particularly settled baby who will take a bottle of expressed milk quite happily.

Clayhead · 12/01/2009 21:43

Still haven't and they are 5 and 7.

gigglewitch · 12/01/2009 21:50

mine was 10mo, he stayed with my sister for one afternoon and night whilst we went to a wedding where my dh was best man. I had just stopped bfing him i think - it was around then, so if i was still bfing then it would only have been the bedtime and breakfast feeds, at that point in time no prob to miss one day and resume after.
DS2 and DD were nearer two yo when they went to grandparents on a stay-over, more for fun than us doing anything or going away.

DwayneDibbley · 12/01/2009 22:38

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STICKIE · 12/01/2009 23:00

Hi all left my dc at 5 weeks(formula fed) went out 4 new years eve had a good night and dont regret it,but i had a yearning to be at home,left my 2nd dc at 9 months and went abroad on best friends hen weekend 3days and 2 nights thought i would be yearning to come home but loved every minute of it think it was the break i needed and came back fresh and relaxed knowing they were well looked after dad bonded fantasticlly :0

Joolyjoolyjoo · 12/01/2009 23:04

Went to a wedding when dd1 was 14mths, and I was pregnant with dd2. My dad came and stayed in the house with her, and we were only at the evening do, but had to stay overnight. I cried myself to sleep, and was up at 7am, begging dh to take me home!

womblingfree · 13/01/2009 00:51

DD went to my Mum's at just under 6 weeks so me and DP could celebrate his birthday. She is 4.4 now and probably stays at one or other of her grandparents 4/5 times a year, but I must admit it took some getting used to, and I'm not sure I'd recommend doing it that young. I certainly wouldn't commit to anything in advance as you just don't know how you'll feel in yourself, let alone about leaving your baby.

GoodGrrrl · 13/01/2009 09:10

DS1 was about 11mths, and with DS2 he was around the same age. Don't regret it at all- with DS1 i had a little cry about 11pm (although i was also tipsy which probably made it seem worse!) when DS2 was first away overnight i was fine!

Looking forward to a fortnights time when they both staying overnight at FIL's

The important thing is to leave them because YOU want to, not because people say you should.

GoodGrrrl · 13/01/2009 09:12

and judging by my own breastfeeding experience- being away overnight would be quite hard if breastfeeding, mainly due to engorged boobs. They'll be like torpedos the next morning i'd imagine!

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