What's the worst piece of advice you have ever been given re parenting?

[grumblingirl]

Mine include:

1. Strapping ds2 into his cot by tying a sheet tightly round the mattress and base so he can't wriggle about at night. My reply 'A bit like a straight jacket for babies eh?'

1. Putting my newborn in a (used) furry soft dog house as a playpen/sleeping basket (offer of 'giving' us the dog house included)

1. Stick a dummy onto LO's face with sticky tape so it doesn't fall out at night - This one was a joke though because I was moaning about lack of sleep (again).

Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets this crackers kind of advice?

Have you thought about putting a wee spot of brandy in her bottle?

Just take him to a good mother and toddler group - he will soon improve...

Said by Community paediatrician just before non speaking, violent, frightened wee boy was diagnosed as having severe ASD

Thank god I ignored her! Dimwit

sorry but ROFL at Luckys aunt...
Its like a Little Britain sketch

Lucky - that is hilarious.

I have done,,ermmm prob 95% of this lot when mine where little, and proberly a lot more,but then so did everyone,alot like you's all do now, when your children are grown and writing on here,how they will andand at the things you are doing to them now

You will spoil him .....From my Mother when I cuddled him when he was a week old.

Put a rusk in his bedtime bottle he will sleep through .....from my Mother when he was 4 weeks old

Give him some pop ----From MIL when he was 8 weeks old.

Lucky's aunt just made me snort my drink. There IS a comedy sketch in there .

You won't notice a 3rd child. It's no harder than two.

I think jumpingbeans is onto something there...I wonder what we all see as good practice will turn out to be laughably ignorant in twenty years? There's bound to be a few things....

oh no don't have a third. The middle child will be a failure at everything

If you get ds christened he will be more intelligent - my ds has aspergers!

Bought DS a dummy at everyone's insistence at 5 weeks, and out for Sunday dinner, FIL dipped it in his pint! was my face, he didn't do it again.

xx

Put a spoonful of sugar in her food, she will eat anything you put in front of her, no more trouble eating - MIL.

Put her at the other end of the house if she is keeping you awake crying, then you can get a good nights sleep - MIL. Again.

Have you tried rubbing her gums with whisky? It will help her teething by numbing the pain - MIL, who else!

My FIL used to dip DN's dummy in honey. He did not dare with my DCs

I'm always wondering about that myself - weaning ds1 at 16 weeks 5.5yrs ago was normal. Now it's seen as bad practice. But you just have to use your sense, like the whisky thing - it's never going to have been good for a baby is it. I think that would have been pretty clear back in the day.

Get him on the potty.

Older (addled) friend. DS was 7 weeks.

'what do you need a baby monitor for, fgs we never had one for you' ... erm because we can't hear the baby through several closed doors and a flight of stairs and unlike you i actually want to go comfort my infant

'you should start giving few bottles to get her sleeping through the night, that's what the doctor told me to do with you' erm, no thanks.

'don't let the baby sleep in your bed, you'll never get them out again' well they're 2 and 3 now and sleep quite happily in their own beds so wrong there then

'put some honey on her dummy to soothe her colic' words defied me with that paticular gem from mil!

My MIL suggested I dip DS' dummy in DH's beer to settle him when he was tiny. She's said so many ridiculous things over the years but I just can't think of them. Doh!

I was told to dip dd's dummy into sugar!

She needs baby rice - This started when dd was 12 weeks old!

Wrap her up warm - 5 blankets and a hat (in the house with the heating on)

Anything that comes out of my mil's mouth!!Some of my favourites:

If he bites you, bite him back.

If he is having a tantum throw cold water over his head!

If he throws his food pour it over his head!!

She'll never be babysitting!!

out of interest pinkem did she ever follow these gems herself ???

"You need to get strict with her" (and went on to describe controlled crying) - community midwife at 2 days old.

surfermum - they must teach that at mw school as I had something similar (stop her crying or i can take her to the nursery when dd was 6 hours old)

Why does the weirdest advice always seem to be about feeding?

My favourite bit of advice was given to me when I started to wean DD: "Surely she shouldn't have her lunch until all the adults have finished eating?"

I understand that theory works better with puppies than babies!

Poppy34 - Yes she had great pleasure in telling me how her 'guidance worked' She thinks it was this that made my dh 'the man he is today!'

He actually lived with his gran till he was 14 years old, and it was influence from his gran that has made him sucessful definately not getting water or food thrown at him!!