What's the worst piece of advice you have ever been given re parenting?

[grumblingirl]

Mine include:

1. Strapping ds2 into his cot by tying a sheet tightly round the mattress and base so he can't wriggle about at night. My reply 'A bit like a straight jacket for babies eh?'

1. Putting my newborn in a (used) furry soft dog house as a playpen/sleeping basket (offer of 'giving' us the dog house included)

1. Stick a dummy onto LO's face with sticky tape so it doesn't fall out at night - This one was a joke though because I was moaning about lack of sleep (again).

Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets this crackers kind of advice?

MIL - "you are going to bf aren't you? it's easy.."

MIL (again) "make sure you don't get the cord stuck round the babys neck whne you gave birth " as if that can be controlled!

From a Jehova's witness at the door whilst I was trying to bf my 3 month old ds

"You ought to feed him some steak that would feed him up a bit"

Midwife about 2 day old DS who was very difficult to settle - 'he's just at it' at it!! how can a 2 day old be 'at it'
My Dad chanted 'give him a rusk, he's hungry give him a rusk' from about week 2

bikerunski I saw a book at my friend's house who's just had a baby abot "diaper-less babies" or some such. It said on the back that most babies in the world are toilet trained very early (as you can imagine, nappies not very practical for too long in the developing world. Also said that babies have cues for weeing etc which you can learn, and have them toilet trained basically from infancy if you learn about them. Made sense to me - food for thought anyway...

Another one that I forgot as it was when I was pg with ds1 (5 years is a long time in my world). My friend, completely seriously said 'If your baby gets a blocked nose you will have to suck out the gunk with your mouth to unblock it.'As I was suffering with Hyperemesis at the time it just made me want to hurl. However, I've always wondered if the depths of parental love actually do stretch to this - has anyone actually sucked the snot out of their babies nose? Or was my friend having a laugh to see if I'd actually do it.

Donk I think I did vaguely know about wee being sterile - it was more the fact that she suggested it as a moisteriser that made me laugh... this coming from the same HV who said that it's only Western cigarettes that are harmful as those elsewhere in the world are 'pure'

(Someone's going to now tell me that that is in fact true, aren't they!)

Grumblingirl I sucked out gunk, but with a special sucking gunk out thing that had a filter to catch snot so no danger of it actually getting in my mouth!

wonderstuff - me too when DS was tiny. I'm afraid he gets the whole nose-pinching with a tissue thing now at pretty much 10mo (makes it sound far worse than it is)

It's great when their nose gets big enough to pinch isn't it DD would rather I just ignored the snot though.. (12mo)

From MIL when ds1 was tiny:

MIL - how do you find time to do your housework?
Me - er - well we just muddle through ...
MIL - ah you need to do what I did, and just put the baby outside in his pram all day while you do the housework
Me - when you say all day - how long are you talking about?
MIL - oh about 10 hours - they soon stop crying when they realise no-one is coming to get them ....

I tell you, its a wonder my poor dh is normal.

When she was 8 months PG, my sister's MIL asked her:

"Now, have you scrubbed your nipples with a nail brush yet, to toughen them up?"

Sister's MIL is lovely, so I think my sister might even have tried it.

"... they soon stop crying..."

I think someone earlier said this thread makes them sad about how we were parented. Me too. My mother was a Truby King devotee. Enough said!

BalloonSlayer, I've heard that too about "toughening up" your nipples - my MIL bought me a bottle of Milton when I had ds1 - when I said oh thanks but no need, I'm breastfeeding, she explained it was meant for my nipples ...

greenlawn on Mon 17-Nov-08 16:57:13
"From MIL when ds1 was tiny:

MIL - how do you find time to do your housework?
Me - er - well we just muddle through ...
MIL - ah you need to do what I did, and just put the baby outside in his pram all day while you do the housework
Me - when you say all day - how long are you talking about?
MIL - oh about 10 hours - they soon stop crying when they realise no-one is coming to get them ...."

Isn't this a wonderful example of selective memory in the older generation? I bet you your dh did not actually go for 10 hours between daytime feeds. The standard advice in those days was 4 hours.

From the paediatrician who checked over my DD at the hospital before letting us go home (in Spain) - feed her for 7 minutes on each breast every 4 hours and if she cries in between times give her water !!! She'd have died from starvation if I'd done that!!

that it will get easier.
like when?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Oh, it really does get easier......................................

when they leave home.

"Reading this thread at work earlier, I snorted so loud at the "cock tower made of lego" that I think my colleagues realised I wasn't reviewing last month's P&L"

Hehehe... my work here is done!

Yes, we did learn to stop crying, but not for the healthiest of reasons .

Maybe I've finally stumbled on the reason why I have no memory of being hugged or kissed by my mum . Mind you, she seems to have moved with the times, ds gets LOADS of cuddles from Grandma and and Grandpa .

Wasn't bad advice but funny nevertheless:

DH's friend on meeting 9 month old dd "I've heard they go thru a whole set of clothes and you need to replace everything"

we're only up to our third set!

"Someone wants a cuddle from his mummy" (lady in queue in front of me, while DS screaming for bf) - er... or you could let me go first so I can feed him?

Also had the "breastfed babies don't need to be winded" from community midwife and from someone else (can't remember who)

"it's a myth that babies get wind - they just want cuddles" (wierd how burp stops the crying then)

'Germs are good for babies - it's fine for my cat to sleep in your sons cot'
'your baby doesn't need vaccinations to visit us in Africa, your GP is being over cautious, people in Zimbabwe don't have them'

I also heard the 'breastfed babies don't get wind' lie; along with 'breastfed babies nappies don't smell', WHAT THE HELL!!!! That was the biggest lie I was ever told, along with pregnancy only being 9 months, when midwife told me due date at first I thought she had made a mistake, but no, it is 10 bloody months!

These are hilarious.

My worst advice has invariably come from my dad:

(on hearing that dd is a bit fussy over food) "We ended up feeding you on jelly and ice cream" (with my mum rolling her eyes in the background)

Time to get the 'Phenigan' out (legendary sleep-inducing cough medicine)

But the all-time worst was when I heard someone in all sincerity recommending giving a premature baby a bottle of milk with baby rice mixed in "to feed him up" : o