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Original poster

owners of GIRLS do oyu feel underpressure fashion wise

155 replies

FluffyMummy123 · 26/09/2008 13:31

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Hulababy · 27/09/2008 14:11

I like DD to be dressed nicely, and to look nice - but I don't fuss over it. If she is just laying or we are at the farm, etc. I expect her to come home looking dirty and messy, but happy.

And no, don't compare the way she is dressed with other female children. Many of them have completely different styles at 6y anyway as there is a real mix of parents and daughter's choosing.

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FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 14:12

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FluffyMummy123 · 27/09/2008 14:12

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IllegallyBrunette · 27/09/2008 14:13

I generally take more pride in the kids appearance than my own.

Hulababy · 27/09/2008 14:26

Ooops - playing

Guadalupe · 27/09/2008 17:01

The boot post has reminded me that dd did have purple boots with lilac fluffy trim once. I also winced at them but she pleaded and I thought, well, she is six, if she can't wear boots like that now when can she. I never grew to like them. They hurt my eyes every morning.

MadamAnt · 27/09/2008 19:50

DD begged for these when we went shoe-shopping.

tortoiseshell · 27/09/2008 21:53

guadalupe - that was JUST my thinking - I thought 'she has the rest of her life to wear boring brown and black boots, NOW is the time to wear the green ones!'

tortoiseshell · 27/09/2008 21:55

These are the boots in question!

Tortington · 27/09/2008 22:02

never compared dd to other girls.
never could be arsed ironing a dress except for a special occasion - she was alwys in clothes similar to the boys after she got schanged from school - jeans and a top for running around and getting dirty - if the boys can climb trees then why the hell shouldn't she - and dresses and patent shoes are not actually condusive to tree climbing and other activities which the boys do.

she has her own strong sense of fashion since senior school and i love her for it. i really love the way she wants to be different - in a mainstream way - so funny - witht he eyeliner and the trilby - shes gorg

EustaciaVye · 27/09/2008 22:10

I went to the park today and saw 4 girls in Jeans/t-shirts, 2 girls in skirts/tops and 4 girls in party-type dresses. I was quite surprised at posh dresses at muddy park but what struck me was that ALL of the girls looked lovely.

Heated · 27/09/2008 22:12

DD(2) is a ragamuffin at heart, was scraping something out of her hair after dinner, but I do really enjoy buying her clothes. She is intensely interested in shoes.

Objectively , I would say she's cute but it's ds(4) who's handsome & it's him who takes real pleasure in clothes.

georgimama · 27/09/2008 22:14

Gosh, this is exactly what little girls need to be imbibed with, their mothers value them based on whether they are more attractive than their friends. Christ.

Why not go the whole hog and have weigh in parties for 9 year olds, see who is the lightest?

Vacuous, damaging, mad.

tingting · 27/09/2008 22:16

i spend a lot of money dressing my dd, i try and make sure she looks different to everyone else, i do it because yes i feel crap about myself and its nice to be able to dress her nicely i also do it because i want her to grow up and be confident in the way she looks, know that she can be individual in the way she expresses herself and know that she will get money to buy her own clothes, be equally as smart as her peers and all the rest, yes my own hangups of no money for clothes and wearing hand me downs and charity shops and generally feeling utterly shit and embarassed by myself all my youth, something that has affected me all my adult life even if im wearing something nice, the self conciousness of childhood so deeply ingrained its permanent.

pgwithnumber3 · 27/09/2008 22:20

Yes, I do like my DD's to look the dog's bollocks but unfortunately DD1 will only wear summer clothes in winter and winter clothes in summer and when I do manage to get her into an outfit I love, she does her hair herself which sort of wrecks the look. Picture a bird's nest on the side of her head and you have the look.

MadamAnt · 28/09/2008 08:54

Unless I've missed something, Georgimama, the OP was about whether or not we feel under pressure to dress our daughters nicely. I think the gist of this thread is that every mother here thinks their daughter is the most beautiful.

You sound quite angered by it. I'm wondering if this has touched a nerve for you

SmugColditz · 28/09/2008 09:05

Beware

My mother firmly stamped on fashion and femininity until she couldn't stamp any more, whereupon I immediately blew most of my allowance (or what was left after fags and booze) on slutty shoes and pink mini skirts.

And don't be fooled into thinking that just because she doesn't leave the house in them and doesn't have them on her person, she isn't wearing them, I used to stash mine at a friend's house.

Even now I have to restrain myself from putting on an almost transgender-like level of make up - another thing that was stamped upon.

psychomum5 · 28/09/2008 09:16

sorry but LOL at the thread title......"owners of girls"

you think I own my girls????

get real, they OWN me!!!

oh, and in response to your answer....

yes I do feel under pressure......not to think they are better than their friends, but so that they are on a par with their friends. BOTH my elder girls are best friends with girls that come from 2 child families and so these girls have more bought for them than my girls do (or so my girls tell me). so I do feel as tho I want mine to have access to enough clothing so they feel nice and can look nice.

of course in todays society fashion changes so quickly that teens are very quick to notice if someone is wearing somehting 'wrong', which means now that they are getting older hand-me-downs are not so easy to do......costing more.

thankgoodness for primark and the many many sales everywhere nowadays.

Polgara2 · 28/09/2008 09:26

Well like everyone else I think my dds are stunning whatever they wear (and they actually are of course ).
Again I don't feel pressure exactly but that probably because I think they look gorgeous so I wouldn't be worried would I iyswim! I am very rarely allowed to pick clothes without their presence though (unless well primed beforehand). But it is all age appropriate and relatively 'trendy'. But as long as they are not trying to wear a strappy top in subzero temperatures I don't worry too much, They do actually take longer to get ready than me (they are 11 and 8) and frequently tell me whether something looks 'right' or not too!

georgimama · 28/09/2008 10:10

No nerve, unless I have misread there are several posts about wanting their daughter to have better clothes than their friends, be the best looking etc etc.

Yes I am angered - do you think young girls are immune to these messages from their mothers? Eating disorders, here we come.

NotCod · 28/09/2008 10:11

lol at aant
it was a moment of codly honesty
if i had girls id spend a oftune on em

Quattrocento · 28/09/2008 10:16

Pressure to make myself look nice - Nope - does not compute - don't feel that

Pressure to make my DD look nice - nope - does not compute - she looks blardy gorgeous anyway (piles nicer than all her friends - sorry she just can't help it) being tall and beautiful and lithe and slim with long glossy hair and big brown eyes. All the sport helps too - she has wonderful muscle tone. She does wear fashionable clothes and stuff but you can't gild a lily...

Winebeforepearls · 28/09/2008 10:24

Same here Quattro . dd1: Gorgeous brown curls and brown eyes, dd2 blonde urchin with blue eyes, and dd3 middling blonde curls and grey eyes. They all wear jeans and tops (and mittens this morning) and could not look better.

Doctorpuss · 28/09/2008 10:41

I'm ok, but mine is only 5.

I alternate with the whole caring thing. She loves dressing herself, but it can be quite terrifying. So if we're going somewhere that I feel matters, I make an effort to make her look nice, otherwise I don't really care.

I do that the issue that I already avoid ceratin clothes for her though as I know they will look plain odd as she has my arse which makes pleats etc stick out like a tutu

serenity · 28/09/2008 10:43

I don't feel under pressure to make DD look 'nice', given that in her school that tends to involve copious amounts of pink and seemingly impractical clothing combinations - she's 4, she spends most of her time on the floor or doing strange dance routines that involve being upside down with one leg in the air, frilly dresses just don't work (and I'm so not going to iron them)

I like her to look clean, and I'll admit things have to match (it makes my teeth itch if they don't, but that goes for the DSs too. They show me what they pick to wear before they put it on ) but I'll step back and let her choose to wear something I hate (bloody MIL) so long as it ticks those boxes.

People tell me DD is lovely, I think it's more that she stands out and is noticeable rather than is actually 'prettier'.