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Parenting

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Original poster

Want to know how many hours you spend in sole charge of your dcs a week

42 replies

missmuddle · 19/09/2008 17:20

Not sure if its me but i seem to find it really difficult to cope with the time i look after my my dcs. So i want to compare the hours i have dcs for

I have 3 dcs
I am in sole charge for approx 72 hours monday to friday and share the care sat/sun
I also work 13 hours a week

I have no family support for any of this time

I think this is alot of time and struggle by the end of the week as I seem to spend most the time just getting stuff done and not engaging with the children.

Does anyone else feel ike this?

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CaptainKarvol · 19/09/2008 17:31

Absolute sole charge? About half the amount you are. I use childcare for the 24 hours a week, I work and for the other 6 hours commuting on top of that. DH is there for all the rest of the time. But loads of lone parents are going to be sole carer 24/7, aren't they? I don't know anyone with substantial local family support.

Marne · 19/09/2008 17:37

I am with dd2 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, i gave up work to look after her, she has Autism and im working with her at home to improve her comunication skills.

I also have dd1 who is on half days at school. Dh works 4 days a week and on his days off he works from home or does the house work.

In 2 weeks time dd2 starts a nursery for 2 mornings a week.

Original poster

missmuddle · 19/09/2008 17:56

yes i guess somw lone parents will be , my bf is a lone parent but has loads of parental support.

I guess what it is is that i feel bad saying to dh that i find it really hard when clearly he is supporting me

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CaptainKarvol · 19/09/2008 18:21

I think it is hard - and with three it must be tiring as well. I know I'm jealous of the mere idea of local family support. It's just not commonplace in my world!

ByTheSea · 19/09/2008 18:24

During school, I am in charge for an hour in the morning and then about 4 1/2 hours in the afternoon/evening til DH gets home. He is around on the weekends.

During the summer and school hols (except for his annual holiday), add another 6-7 hours per weekday of me being in sole charge.

I don't have any family support either. It is hard and that is a lot.

Blandmum · 19/09/2008 18:28

I have no family support at all on a day to day basis. MIL will travel to help out is I have the need so I can do my INSET days. I'm a school teacher.

I currently work from 7.45 to 4.30 5 days a week. I also mark/prep lesson asfter school and on the weekend

My children are in full time school and have pre school and after school care.

I'm in sole charge the rest of the time, if they are no in school, they are with me except for 3 hours a week when they go to kids clubs in the gym, while I work out

Peachy · 19/09/2008 18:34

Not many atm as dh off sick

normally every day except 1.30-8.30, shared sundays as ds4 (5 months) has slept on my lap all but 3 sleeps due to his clinginess. he's never settled in a cot ever.

other 3 are ay school, but when not always here

parents live away and dont drive, mine were fab before we moved. fil; talks the talk, mil (separated) doesnt even bother with that

rivenhasaparrotonhershoulder · 19/09/2008 18:34

with my older 3 it was all day every day for 13 years as they were home edded.
With number 4 its now never cos either dh is here or a respite carer. She's too disabled for me to care for her and I'm too disabled to do it. Jointly we are a bit crap really.
It was tough with 3 under 3. DH would bugger off to work at 8am and come back at 6.
I'm still sane

LadyOfWaffle · 19/09/2008 18:37

84 hours a week totally alone, the rest is sort of shared with DH but as i'm BFing its limited help with DS2

ruddynorah · 19/09/2008 18:38

approx 40 hours a week. dh finishes work at 3. i start at 5. he has sole charge for 32 hours a week, though she's asleep for most of that.

Blandmum · 19/09/2008 18:38

ruddynorah · 19/09/2008 18:39

actually prob a bit less than that. PILs usually take her out one day a week.

LadyMuck · 19/09/2008 18:44

Mon-Fri dh is out of the house at least 12 hours a day and usually away overnight one night a fortnight. Due to this week's market insanity he hasn't really been here at all except to sleep. I'm still in sole charge if a child wakes up at night (we've entered croup season).

Aimsmum · 19/09/2008 18:48

Message withdrawn

Acinonyx · 19/09/2008 18:49

Varies a lot from 25 - 55 hours. I find my tolerance is tested not by the total no of hours but the no of hours in one stretch. The long days, all day, when dh is travelling sometimes get me down.

CvQ · 19/09/2008 18:50

24/7 apart from tuesday afternoons 1-5pm

CoolYourJets · 19/09/2008 18:53

hmmm.

About 60 hours I think.

muggglewump · 19/09/2008 18:53

School hours + 7 and a half hours when I'm at work I am not in sole charge, other than that it's just me and has been since DD was 6 weeks old.

For the first three years until she went to pre-school she was with me 24-7.
This summer holidays (8 and a half weeks) I got two hours without sole charge when she was at a party.

I'm used to it and it doesn't really seem hard, just normal.

NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain · 19/09/2008 18:55

DS1 is at school Mon-Fri 9-3 obviously.

DS2 is at home with me all day, every day.

DH works from around 6am-6pm, Mon-Fri, sometimes earlier and/or later. He works 3 out 4 Saturday mornings (8-1) and is also on call (from 1pm Sat till 9pm Sunday) every 3rd or 4th weekend. From the Monday before he works on call, he is responsible for answering calls for a national company until 9pm every night.

I have no family support.

Can't be arsed working out the hours, but can guess it adds up to a fair bit.

NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain · 19/09/2008 18:58

Sorry, reading that that through sounds like I am moaning about it, I'm not, sure it would be nice to be able to frolic but this works well for us.

tortoiseshell · 19/09/2008 19:00

Ds1 and dd are at school which obviously means that it is different than when they are at home. But I can do two totals.

Sole charge of 1 child;

35 hours a week

Sole charge of 3 children;

35.5 (this is the average across 2 weeks - dh and I have a 'job share' arrangement which obviously means some weeks it is less, so this is the average figure)

So total is 70.5

tortoiseshell · 19/09/2008 19:01

I also have no family support (family are 300 miles away), and it is hard, but the key is routine. I also work about 12 hours a week.

onlyjoking9329 · 19/09/2008 19:05

my three are at school, but when they are not at school they are with me, i don't have any family help at all.
as our kids have autism we do get some respite hours but having problems with that at the moment as one of the families we used have split up.
i think i get responsibility fatigue,
i can understand why some people feel resentful that their DH don't help out more.

LittleBella · 19/09/2008 19:05

129 hours per week (ca 60 of which will hopefully be sleeping)

flowerybeanbag · 19/09/2008 19:12

If I don't include any time DS spends asleep, I do 24 hours total sole charge during the week. Nanny does 23 hours while I work and the rest DS is either napping or in bed at night.

Weekends I share with DH.

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