Oh god, just really yelled at ds, why do I do this?

[snafu]

Why am I so crap at this parenting thing?

I was just trying to put ds down for a nap. He was rubbing his eyes and yawning but just would not settle. Every time I put him down, he got up again, crying, wriggling around, trying to get out of the cot. It just went on and on. And in the end I really lost my rag, put him down in the cot, yelled something horrible at him and kicked the bloody chest of drawers, fgs. Of course, he screamed blue murder - and then went straight off to sleep

I am so bloody stressed the whole time and I'm taking it out on him. I am so ashamed of myself. Why can't I just keep calm? I don't seem able to keep calm at anything these days - the slightest thing sets me off. Aaaaaargh. He's so precious but I just feel like I'm getting it so wrong.

Jamiesam - ds is 20 months and has hit the terrible twos a bit early... No, that's not fair, he is gorgeous really, just would always rather be doing something other than sleeping

WCL, you are right, it's not acceptable behaviour on my part. I am pretty calm with him the vast majority of the time and in fact I would say that my worst fault is actually giggling at him when maybe I should be yelling, IYKWIM! Mostly he just makes me laugh. But, equally, I am tense, very tense a lot of the time and need to find ways to stop myself getting wound up. I have had a pretty rotten couple of years and it is all just taking its toll, I guess. I don't think I am depressed but I am not 'right' either.

Yoga classes here I come. Thanks again, lovely MNers.

Hope you know that I am guilty of similar so saying it is not acceptable was not having a go but that most of us have 'been there'.

Oh, I know, WCL, don't worry (Or, at least, I assumed that was what you meant!)