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You can always tell some women are childless by the fact that they....

628 replies

NinaInCognito · 22/08/2008 21:11

...get in the way of you when you are in the supermarket dragging around a pram, trolley and fiddly child and then they sneer down at you with their basket full of organic lettuce, baguettes and mini-tampons while your trolley is loaded with nappies, a giant pot of Sudocrem and enough chocolate bars to re-sink the Titanic.

You then have to manoever around them while they continue said sneering.

God you can tell what sort of evening I have had, can't you? And I am embarrassed to admit that I used to be one of those women. I apologise to all you mums out there unreservedly.

Now for chocolate bars and MN......

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Aitch · 23/08/2008 21:56

apparently they simply charged my sister in law a fiver rather than a tenner. clearly a maverick spirit in our local place.

LB, for me as i've said, it's not so much about causing offence with the word childless as all the other spiteful woman-hating paranoia present in that OP. but i'd certainly be cautious about using childless as it is often synonymous with infertile and seems like a more callous way of expressing it.

IorekByrnison · 23/08/2008 22:35

They never offer to help with pushchairs on the tube. I used to be the same and am ashamed to remember it.

I think there is something about being a young carefree urban woman that makes older, more encumbered women invisible. Maybe you just blank it out because the prospect of being that dishevelled, harrassed woman in 5 or 10 years time is just too horrifying...

Aitch · 23/08/2008 22:38

me, IB? i blank it out? cos i don't. i said that i was invisible with dd today. invisible seems fine to me... sneering isn't.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

IorekByrnison · 23/08/2008 22:42

No not you Aitch, was speculating about my former self and the type of girls who tend to swish past oblivious as I'm puffing my way up underground stairs with a buggy.

Aitch · 23/08/2008 22:42

oh right, you mean 'one' blanks it out, gotcha. yep, maybe that's it, or maybe it's just that you're too busy doing your own thing at that stage in life?

apparently we women get more invisible the older we get, or so my mother informs me. she doesn't bother about it, because she feels that it gives her the option of engaging or not engaging with the public. when she talks to people, they don't ignore her obv, but she says it can be quite nice generally to opt out when the mood takes her.

IorekByrnison · 23/08/2008 22:44

x posts. Totally agree with your mother, aitch - really started to notice this growing invisibility and quite like it in a way.

ranting · 23/08/2008 22:47

I do find actually, since I became a mother that I am a lot more aware of people struggling with buggies and stuff. And I do tend to offer to help because although mine are way past all that now, I remember heaving buggies and what not up and down stairs at stations etc. Whereas, I suppose pre motherhood, I wouldn't have even noticed.

Mind you, I was a mum by the age of 21, so can't really remember that far back very well!!

Aitch · 23/08/2008 22:48

kinda takes you into chador territory, doesn't it? i'm always intrigued by muslim women who can tell us what it's like to wear a scarf or not wear it, seeing how people react. i don't mean in a religious way (although pretty impossible to divide it up), more in gender expectation terms.

Aitch · 23/08/2008 22:49

i wonder if i've always noticed, ranting, because i'm the eldest of four children so helped my mum a lot?

ranting · 23/08/2008 22:51

Could be. I really am struggling to remember how I was without children, it seems like such a ridiculously long time ago, indeed a life time ago.

Ds will be 15 next month, so I guess it is a lifetime ago.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/08/2008 23:24

Oh fgs!

I missed www again

Aitch, you lovely thing. How are you doing today?

Aitch · 23/08/2008 23:35

i'm fine, thanks. watching takin' over the asylum on bbc4 when i should be WORKING...
how are you my metropolitan chum?

onebatmother · 23/08/2008 23:37

they chuck up in their handbags? Is this a British advertisement, or a Scandinavian Chris Tarrant one?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/08/2008 23:38

Cool

HEading off to Espagnol tomorrow! I havent packed or anything yet....

Aitch · 23/08/2008 23:46

how fab, have a wonderful time.

expatinscotland · 23/08/2008 23:48

You slacker, VVV!

Have a great time .

IorekByrnison · 23/08/2008 23:49

Hello onebat. Who chucks up in their handbags? Is this the childfree or the child encumbered?

onebatmother · 23/08/2008 23:57

Hello Iorek!

In my excitement to be back I, um, over-read. It is now my belief that they chuck food in their handbags on a senokot ad - they don't chuck up in their handbags, which I interpreted as a euphemism for vomiting.

Everyone was talking about the props person putting in a plastic bag so someone else could have the use of the bag afterwards, and whilst I am frugal, I am not so frugal as to covet a vomit-flecked mulberry.

I suspect, given the demographic courted by Senokot, the individuals will be "empty-nesters". But I can't confirm that, I'm afraid.

ranting · 24/08/2008 00:02

Rofl

susiecutiebananas · 24/08/2008 00:04

The struggling with buggies point reminds me of an incident I was involved in recently. I use the word incident with deliberate dramatic emphasis, as to me, it was indeed, and incident...

I was waiting for a black cab outside Waterloo Station ( London- yes I am a Londoner )

It gets to my turn, and for some reason, I didn't want to get into the first taxi in the line, but you have little choice- the unwritten taxi drivers rules of having to take the first or else the first one comes and drags you out of the second/third taxi by your hair and shouts abuse at the driver for allowing you to reverse que jump...

anyway, i approach the cab and state my destination. I am standing there, with my walking stick, a heavily laden buggy, with a sleeping toddler in and a large suitcase on wheels. He says, Ok, get in the back... I wait for him to come round and help me in, which is the normal routine... he doesn't move.... I struggle to even get the bloody door open and feel myself getting past shocked & annoyed and verging on emotional.

Cue, lovely male passer by... sticks his head into the cab, shouts, " take it you are not helping this lovely ( cue me beaming) young mum into your cab which she is about to oay for... He helps me in, the cabby says nothing, moves not a muscle. Nice passer by offers to come with me to help me out at other end. States he has a wife and toddler at home and couldn't bare to see me struggle. I politely decline his offer, hoping the driver would get the idea by time we get there.

OH NO, he pulls up outside my friends flats, leaves clock running whilst I struggle to even get out. Luckily my pal was on the pavement by this time. The clock still running cost me an extra £3.50 to exit his horrible taxi.

Not sure where this fits in with discussion, but it does... somewhere... oh, nice man helping laden woman? I might have also been sneered at by passing lettuce wielding women, infact, I think I may have felt one hit me as I clambered into cab...

susiecutiebananas · 24/08/2008 00:06

should read pay for....

he did also shout again at the cabby, something about disgusting customer service and should e feeling ashamed of his lazy arse self...

onebatmother · 24/08/2008 00:08

erk, susie, what an arse.

a taxidriver called me a fat cunt when I was 9 months pregnant

I got to use the Winston Churchill "I won't always be fat, but you will always be a cunt" line on him.

Unfortunately, my optimism was unfounded. I am still fat. And, if the truth be told, I am still a bit of a cunt too.

LittleBella · 24/08/2008 08:51

pmsl obm

Susiecutie always take cab driver's number in that situation and complain to the carriage office.

You would never know it by the way some of them carry on, but cab drivers are actually strictly regulated by a code of conduct and his behaviour would have been considered out of order. It would go on his record.

viggoswife · 24/08/2008 11:09

Well OP I couldn't really find anything sneering in your post tbh. Seems like you were trying to start a light hearted post and hear some other experiences of this kind of thing. So here is mine.

I was in tesco one day with my dc. I did look particularly scruffy but in my defence I did have a three year old ds and was BF on demand a new born at the time. Smug, well dressed couple going through the checkout next to mine, the woman says quite audibly to her partner "thats what no education and a bunch of kids will do for you, he he hee". My checkout operator heard and looked at me aghast, other people in the queue heard and looked away. I left it a few seconds and then phoned my Mum on my mobile and proceeded to tell her in my loudest, poshest voice how I was shopping with the dc and what the incredibly rude couple in the checkout next to me had just said.

Was very funny then actually, they went bright red and were hurling their shopping into bags in order to get away from me as quickly as possible.

Also a bus conducter on one of the old Routemaster buses said I was "just fucking lazy" when I didn't want to get up before the bus stopped to ring the bell and asked him to do it because the floor was soaked with rain and slippery so I asked him to do it - I was 8 months pregnant at the time. Sorry Mr Conducter I thought it was your farkin job. My blood still boils when I think about that.

TheNinkynork · 24/08/2008 11:43

viggoswife, I love that story and sometimes recall it when I'm looking particularly awful in Tesco. Too much MN I think