The HV is probably on the phone reporting me to social services as we speak.

[Milkysallgone]

Shit. I forgot she was coming. To set the scene....

It is past 10, I am in my nightie and the dcs are still in their PJs looking like grubby little orphans. Dd was having the mother of all tantrums; screaming wildly as though she was being murdered, then the doorbell rings. I had to let the health visitor in to this scene of chaos after having totally forgotten she was coming.

My house is a cesspit. Last nights' chilli is still smeared over the work surfaces, the carpet smells of cheese and I had to fight my way through a sea of dirty nappies which were on their way to the outside bin just to get to the door. We've been on holiday and there are streams of dirty clothes hanging out of the washing machine as well.

God only knows what she must think. I must have looked when I opened the door. Had to run upstairs and fling some jogging bottoms on, while she soaked up the atmosphere. She must have thought I was battering dd the noise she was making.

I am so . Oh - and this is the woman who, when she rang to arrange the visit and said " Your ds is coming up to 2 now isn't he" I replied to her " Oh is he?"!!

She gave me the whole 'I always find if you're having a bad day, it always helps to get outside' speech on the way out. Yes thanks for that.

[morningpaper]

Do you know I actually HOOVERED the lawn this morning

I promise I did

The children had been playing with grass cuttings and I was hoovering the deck and I just ran the hoover over the lawn

I think I am actually INSANE

[morningpaper]

Although cna I say that a lot of people on here confused "a lived-in home" with "a Mumsnetted-in home"

It's still a HOVEL ladies

[Milkysallgone]

Funnily enough vacuuming is the one thing I'm really hot on. Don't care if there's mice in the sink as long as I've vacuumed .

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

actually my dh is not that bad at cleaning when he trys! its getting him to actually do it thats the problem!!

he had been really good that week when i was ill as it was the first time that he had had to care for both dcs longer than a few hours and i thought he had done quite well over all i just got a shock the first time i saw the living room. but dd1 claims that it was like that both mornings i had been ill and dh did the cleaning up before lunch!! and it was "okay again untill after nursery mummy, then we had to tidy up a bit after dinner, but he isnt as good you as you mummy he didnt dress us after breakfast i had to do it!!"

[WilfSell]

at justabout and MP

I have Proper Curtains for the first time in my bedroom. I feel like a grown up (at 41). Perhaps now that will stop me DH strewing clothes all over the floor instead of in the laundry basket.

I am a well-known slob. I am working on it. Perhaps by the time the kids leave home and I am 60 I will have cracked it.

Fat chance really though.

LOL at Dishwasher unloaded before 7. In my house the hours between 6-8 are for 'going back to bed to catch up on the sleep the baby robbed me of between 3 and 5.45'.

[DanJARMouse]

MP - same set up here, DH does the tidying.

Fair play, he leaves the washing up (no dishwasher) til the morning, but does it while kids eat breakfast.

My house is immaculate (bar washing up) by 8pm most nights.

[PussinWellies]

When my HV came round after birth of second baby, I couldn't unlock the front door, so she had to hurdle over the side gate (couldn't find that key either!). Then DS1 sidled shyly up to her and presented her with a dead mouse.
Then we filled in her lovely questionnaire: 'How are you coping day to day?'
I think she worried when I ticked 'About the same as normal'.

[christywhisty]

My HV was the same. She worried if the house was too clean,as the baby wasn't probably getting enough attention.

[MamaG]

ROFL at hoovering the lawn

[frumpygrumpyhasPMT]

Can we just rewind...........

MP did I read correctly? You HOOOOOOVER THE DECK?

[2point4kids]

no one really puts the dishwasher on overnight and unloads it before 7am do they?
I put the dishwasher on overnight, wake up whenever my 2 horrors drag me out of sleep and then unload the dishwasher when I get a free minute throughout the day times 3 until night time when it gets set off again

Rest of the house is a tip too, but me and the kids are happy

[MamaG]

I do 2point4, every day

and me and my kids are happy!

[2point4kids]

Oh I didnt mean that yours wouldnt be
Just that we are happy living in mess lol

[Nemoandthefishes]

must admit our washing and dishwasher go on over night also clean all bathroom every evening while trying to settle dd2 into bed..however our bedroom is the falloutzone in desperate need of a makeover

[lovelysongbird]

hvs don't like it if your house is too tidy, mine said there no point trying to make it look like you dont have kids as they will take over you know!

as if i was some sort of clean freak that believes children should be seen n not heard!!

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

i put the washer on over night and unload it about 7 30 ish if that counts as domestic goddessery?

i dont have a dishwasher just a sink and that doesnt get used untill after dcs breakfast at 8 30 ish

[SlartyBartFast]

ds empies my dw on gettig home from school
for a nominal fee of course

[Quattrocento]

I am sorry you were embarrassed but I just sort of wonder if you need a bit of support with cleaning etc.

Bit worrying to read about your house being a "cesspit", dirty worksurfaces, dirty carpets, dirty nappies and dirty clothes, not dressed at 10 am etc.

What about Flylady? Or even better a cleaning lady?

Sorry if the above not helpful - it just sounded a bit worrying.

Flylady or

[theSuburbanDryad]

If i put the washing machine/tumble dryer on overnight dh complains as it keeps him awake.

I keep telling him to put it on first thing then, but he can't as he's rubbish in the morning's and a self centered prick can't cope out of his routine.

[theSuburbanDryad]

Apologies for my rogue apostrophe. Not sure what happened there!