im being pushed to my limit.i dont feel like a very good mum right now

[copingvquietly]

im sick of moaning on here
j has got himself a right temper and is fighting me over most things.nappy change.bottles.going in pushchair.sleeping. the list goes on.i cant cope with it.its making me anxious which isnt good
i dont want to be amum at the moment

[katpotat]

Maybe your not on the right meds, try talking with your GP. Maybe ask if there is someone you can talk to?
Have you family around who can help out?
Try to get some sleep is the LO in bed?

[copingvquietly]

hes 7 monthsi feel so horrible saying these things but its how i feel.he is displaying such anger at the moment its disturbing me.

[harpomarx]

cvq. you are not alone. j is your son and your family. Right now he is a baby so it is a very lonely time. Soon he will be a child and he will be great company. Sure, you will still be lonely at times (I am a single mum too) but you will have someone who loves and needs you more than anyone else.

sorry, I do not know your story. How old is j? is his father not around?

[justdontknow]

They can get so frustrated at times though - aw, cvq am crap at constructive advice as just remeber how hard I found things.

What would help you now?

[harpomarx]

x post.

7 months is a tough time, cvq.

[copingvquietly]

i was raped.his 'father' is in prison
what would help me right now?in all honesty?i dont know.maybe i just need to get all this of my chest right now

[justdontknow]

You're in the right place then. No-one will judge you, criticise you or do anything but listen.

Of course you're finding it hard then, no bloody wonder.

Is your little one sleeping through yet?

[harpomarx]

so sorry, cvq. Then you are so important to this little boy. You are everything to him, please get yourself the help and support you need.

You can do this.

please get as much off your chest as you need to.

[micci25]

i dont think babies can get angry it will be fustration1 my dd2 hasd terrible tantrums!! much worse than dd1s were! she bangs her head off things! today it was the paveing in my nans garden because dd1 turned the trampoline upside down. she has yet another bruise on her forehead!! i think that ppl will think im abusing her soon all these bruises she has on her head!!

[copingvquietly]

no hes not.ive hidden away all day because of the way im feeling.its wrong.i know its wrong but i cant help it.hes looking more and more like his'father'and now this temper hes found.im feeling freaked out in all honesty.

[VeronicaMars]

CVQ just remember that what you're going through is not your fault. There are so many mothers that find themselves feeling exactly how you do now but there are so many things that can help you. Talking to someone is the first step, a family member maybe or if not your gp will listen and understand. If not you can talk on here as much as you like, even if you don't post just read all the support you'll get. Keep reading it.
When dd was born and all the way to nine months I worried on and off all the time that I wasn't coping. It helps to talk it through.
Please don't think you are not good for him because you are, you are who he wants. His anger is not really anger it's just frusration and it's the only way he knows how to express it.
If you go out and he crys when you put him in the buggy, keep going, just try it. A litle bit down the road he'll settle and enjoy looking around at everything.
You really need a family member or a friend to help you or just to be there for you so you have a bit of company while you get through this.

[colditz]

He has not got his father's temper, it's impossible. What has happened is normal child development - he has discovered cause and effect. Just because your ex behaved like a baby doesn't mean your baby mustn't be allowed to - that's not fair.

coping, if you are going to start seeing your ex's flaws in an innocent baby, you need to go to a councellor and your first port of call should be your doctor - you sound like you have raging PND.

[hunkermunker]

CVQ, it must be incredibly difficult for you to disentangle the emotions surrounding the conception of your son and the actuality of him.

It's important you do, but I think it'll be hard to do it without professional help. Do you have someone you can talk to?

Are you scared of the future with him, of when he grows up? You sound (understandably!) hesitant about him, which he is no doubt picking up on.

[justdontknow]

You are the one who has carried him for 9 months and cared for him for the last 7. Am sure that no-one could love that little boy better than you can cvq.

Some days hiding away is what's best for you - it's not all toddler groups and coffee mornings.

Your little boy isn't angry, just hasn't any other way to communicate - wait till he starts talking! Don't think mine has stopped to draw breath since...!

[1dilemma]

Hi cvq
7 months is a hard time for them lots of new things to learn and experience always wanting to run off and do things.
I'm sure the temprament of a child isn't set at 7 months.
With my dc I liked to try and get them out and about and tire them out a bit, do you have a pool near you? parc with swings?
ALso I know you're not getting much sleep do you sleep when he does during the day? might make it all a bit easier if you are rested.

[colditz]

And in the long run, as long as YOU KNOW your baby is warm, dry, fed and comfortable, it doesn't matter if he cries a lot. You have been unlucky with a baby that cries a lot. Nobody who has ever had a baby would blame you and anyone who hasn't - well, who listens to the childless when it comes to parenting advice?

Put him in the pram and walk. Walk around the shops, walk around the park, and if you feel like hurting him (and I do not judge you one jot) walk into the doctors and demand to be seen, and refuse to leave until they do.

[copingvquietly]

he was not my ex.he was a stranger

[1dilemma]

oh and agree with others you are all he wants and all he needs, even if you do just sit under the duvet all day.

(I used to take mine up and down the stairs of the flat to get some exercise but at a bit older than 7 months for sure!!)

[hunkermunker]

Colditz is v sensible. Listen to her, CVQ.

[colditz]

Shit sorry cvq, you DEFINITELY need a councillor, how the Hell are you carrying all that pain around on your own?

Love with you, and I'll bow out and take my big foot with me.

[hunkermunker]

CVQ, the baby's father is in your past.

Your baby is in your present and your future.

Imagine the future - and how much you'll regret wasting this time being ill and feeling so powerless. Because you really do sound like you have, as Colditz said, raging PND. It's nothing to be ashamed of - but if you're already on ADs and still feeling like this, can I respectfully suggest you get your medication or your dosage changed and you seek some/more counselling?

[justdontknow]

CVQ - sorry if insensitive, but did you conceive your baby when you were raped?

You must be very strong if so, to have gone ahead with pregnancy. You don't have to be perfect - just doing your best is all you can do x

[copingvquietly]

yes

[justdontknow]

I'm sure you've been to counsellors so many times then.

I don't have the right words for you, just to say that you are all your baby needs. I think you are quite amazing. 7 months old is hard without complications.

Do you have friends/family who know your sitiation and help you at all?

[copingvquietly]

family is complicated.i do have a good friend i can call on but i dont feel i can all the time.some lovely mumsnetters have been supporting me but again they have their own lives and families.ive had counselling through rape crisis.i feel like ive hit a brick wall at the moment.i dont sleep well which doesnt help either.i was getting on really well then the last few days all these feelings have surfaced again.