How much does it realistically cost to support a 15-year-old girl in London each month?

[MaestroEMargherita]

I'm trying to get a realistic idea of the monthly cost of supporting a 15-year-old girl (year 10) living in London, and would be interested to hear from anyone with teenagers of a similar age.

At the moment, around £1,200 a month is being paid between her and her mother to cover her costs, but there's now an additional expense of £500 a month, bringing the total to £1,700.

I appreciate that teenagers can be expensive, particularly in London, and that costs will vary considerably depending on circumstances. I'm not suggesting that a child's needs should be reduced to a figure, or that there is necessarily a right or wrong amount to spend. I'm simply trying to understand what is typical and what other families find they need to budget for.

For those with teenage daughters, roughly how much do you spend each month on things such as food, clothes, school-related expenses, transport, activities, phones, personal care and socialising? And are there any significant costs that people might not immediately think of?

I'm conscious that everyone's circumstances are different, so I'm not looking for anyone to justify their spending. I'd just find it helpful to get a sense of the reality of raising a teenager in London these days.

Thanks.

Who is ‘between her and her mother’

are u trying to figure out cost of housing, feeding and living costs of the teenage girl ?

I'm confused now.

Is this teen living at home?
Being paid between her and her mum - so the teen works/has source of income?

Well travel is free assuming you’re in a London borough. Food and toiletries - same as an adult. Clothes costs - same as an adult plus school uniform. School trips could be £1000 a year. Family holidays - same as an adult. Unless she’s being left at home… Personal care - see food budget. Socialising and flashy cosmetics - giving her pocket money (£100 a month?). You’d want to save for driving lessons, and presumably uni costs out of that.

It’s a how long is a piece of string question. Some 15 year olds get £15 worth of food a week from the family budget, have free school meals and don’t go on school trips. Spend a couple of quid a month on second hand uniform and access free sanitary products and have no phone. Others have hundreds spent on them every week and have the latest £1000 phone.

I spend more than that on my much younger children outside of London.

Are you per chance the father? Trying to pay less?

Buses are free, but you do have to pay child fare (half price) for the tube

Nowhere near enough information does she go to private school, in any hobbies/ clubs is she used to a certain standard off life before the divorce, disability costs, dietary costs

How long is a piece of string?! My teen ds (outside London but still expensive area) costs much less but partly because I don’t have that level of money to spend 🤷🏻‍♀️ and he gets free school transport. But if you have a teen who you can afford to do hobbies and she enjoys them then I’d say it’s worth the spend if between the parents they are able to fund it. Plus transport needs will be different.

on ds I spend monthly:
£100 school meals
£50 average clothes/toiletries
£12 hobby
£13 phone and subscriptions - £35
£150 average trips, d of e costs etc.
food maybe £125 a month? Hard to calculate as it’s done for us as a family (he eats the most though but doesn’t drink obviously!).
my parents give him pocket money

I found having a teen in London very economical.

Once the housing costs are taken care of - the roof over their head is the expensive but.

But there are so many free or very cheap activities. Lots of high quality music and drama projects run by the big professional arts companies, or small local funded theatres and centres.

So many ways to get discounted tickets to things.

None of my Dc or friends were into
high end brands for the sake of it, they found it very uncool and naff (But always managed to look good)

It depends on the expectations- and how far it is reasonable to meet them.

Housing, food, clothes, transport, activities, phone, toiletries (particularly skin care) and all the other day-to-day costs of looking after a 15-year-old. I’m trying to get a sense of what a realistic monthly figure would be in London.

Mother and I are divorced, so two separate households. We alternate weekends and share school holidays 50/50. But DD is only then with me one night in the week but every other week.

She does go on holiday every half term and school holiday. She's flying to the States in a couple of days for the half term break, for example. Skiing with me (as we have done for the last few years) for the next half term in Feb.

We have a financial agreement in place, but it's a private arrangement between us rather than anything court-mandated. I pay £600 a month. Based on my salary, the CMS calculation would put it at around £500 a month. I used to pay £1,000 a month, but that simply wasn't sustainable or financially sensible in the long term.

There are lots of extra curriculars, like dance and music, plus tutoring for a couple of subjects, but I'm being told there's another expense thats essential, which I'm not sure about. If rather approach more cautiously. But I'm wondering if we need to re think the other and cut in other places.

State school.

No dietary requirements.

No disabilities.

What ‘other expense’?

Fair to say you've already alienated quite a lot of posters with your cat and mouse questions. Thanks for confirming that you are in fact a father paying £600 per month and seeking to pay less.

My dd gets £150 a month pocket money, but has to pay for all her socialising, toiletries, etc out of that. Weve just paid £700 for her to train to be a swimming teacher and shes now looking for a part time job as she wants to earn her own money.

Shes just moved to a 6th form where there is no uniform which meant we had to go on a shopping binge in the summer because its a big jump filling a wardrobe with own clothes for every day when you're used to just wearing uniform 5 days a week.

Her sports training is £80 a month, but expenses go way up when she has competitions (travel, hotel, comp fees, etc). Gym membership is another £30pcm.

Shes asked for some extra tutoring, we're just looking at the cost of in person face to face and it is £££.

We're very fortunate that our mortgage is paid off, so our housing costs are just bills. No idea what her share of gas, electricity, etc is.

School related expenses over the last few years have included trips to the theatre (£30), Iceland (£1700) for geography, and eurodisney (£600) for science, DofE silver was heavily subsisded by the school.

Im sure there are other costs that I haven't thought of, like random days out, tickets to concerts, holidays,etc.

I have a DD who has recently turned 16 and there are things that become more expensive then (though probably just at the early end of the wedge for it).

Expect to go down: costs of extra care out of school such as holiday clubs.
Expect to go up: tuition or online revision support, which will very probably come into play somewhere leading up to exams.
Train tickets, if relevant (but a railcard helps a lot, even for just a couple).
Haircuts - if there was a child rate, 16 is the point where it often cuts off.
Prom... even if economising, probably a big chunk.

I think my teen costs me a lot. Rough costs are:

£150 ish sport
£40 sports equipment (spread across year)
£55 train pass
£65 Bupa cover
£100 school lunches
£80 school uniform (spread across year)
£100 pocket money
£100 petrol (driving to clubs)
£400 food (including eating out once a week)
£50 clothes and shoes (sread across year)
£30 toiletries
£50 school contribution
£25 birthday presents (for her friends)

then the costs of a roof over head, water (uses a lot) and electricity.
there’s other things also that I haven’t accounted for like £30 this month for a Halloween costume and holidays/ concerts/ theatre shows/ school trips

The amount others spend is irrelevant. You need to sit down and talk about your daughter's costs not ask strangers. If you don't want to pay then you have to tell your daughter what you are not paying for and that it means she won't be able to do it. That has to come from you. It is not fair to put it on her mother.

What is your income?

It costs the money you have.

Just send more £ and they will spend more.

"CMS calculation would put it at around £500".

I think that's more than fair as you pay expenses too then she is at your place and you pay holidays too.
How much do you spend having her?

If mum pays £500 a month it £1000. It's more than we will ever spend on our teenager a month. We can't afford that - I think it's quite normal for parents not to spend £1000 a month on a teenager.

Does your teen sleep on the sofa then? The cost of having to rent/buy a 2 bed place so your teen has a bedroom rather than a 1 bed could well bring costs up to £1000 a month.

How could you possibly think that's fair when you have no idea of his income? CMS calculation is around 11% for one child. So he needs to state his income. That's for the absolute basics.

No one can do this for you OP, because your DD's expenses are particular to her. I suggest you open an Excel spreadsheet and put in all the costs that you know about and work it out for yourself. No one can tell you what your DD's extracurriculars cost or what her housing costs are!

No our teen doesn't no. We have choosen to live in an expensive city so think a box room.
Our teen isn't £1000 a month.

Most parents don't earn that kind of money. If we want more m2 the answer is to move.

Her best friend at school her parents sleep in the living room. It's not uncommon around here as m2 are very expensive.

You’re paying more than the cms would require you to so I think it seems fair. If that’s what you can afford then that’s the best you can do.

He already said his CMS would be 500 so why would he need to state his income 🤷‍♀️

What is the ‘other expense that is essential that you are not sure about ?’

If he rmother needs to be in London for work, or because your daughter is settled in a school there, then that increases the cost. Even renting one room in a shared house in zone three can cost £200 per week, so rent on a 2 bed, with a fair share of the overheads of that home will bump up the cost hugely. Then on top of that: phone, clothes, clubs, toiletries, pocket money, school trips, tutoring and music lessons if she has them - these all cost a fortune, along with a fair share of food and utilities.