How much does it realistically cost to support a 15-year-old girl in London each month?

[MaestroEMargherita]

I'm trying to get a realistic idea of the monthly cost of supporting a 15-year-old girl (year 10) living in London, and would be interested to hear from anyone with teenagers of a similar age.

At the moment, around £1,200 a month is being paid between her and her mother to cover her costs, but there's now an additional expense of £500 a month, bringing the total to £1,700.

I appreciate that teenagers can be expensive, particularly in London, and that costs will vary considerably depending on circumstances. I'm not suggesting that a child's needs should be reduced to a figure, or that there is necessarily a right or wrong amount to spend. I'm simply trying to understand what is typical and what other families find they need to budget for.

For those with teenage daughters, roughly how much do you spend each month on things such as food, clothes, school-related expenses, transport, activities, phones, personal care and socialising? And are there any significant costs that people might not immediately think of?

I'm conscious that everyone's circumstances are different, so I'm not looking for anyone to justify their spending. I'd just find it helpful to get a sense of the reality of raising a teenager in London these days.

Thanks.

There is no upper limit on the “want” cost of a 15 year old girl. Her lifestyle needs to match the money available.

If mum can't afford to stay posh London location it she'll have to move. It's not dad's responsibility.

Tutoring, music lessons and other expensive things is nice but not a need. A lot of teenagers go without.

My ex's income was £60k plus and he managed to manipulate his income from a CMS perspective so that he paid £60 per month CM. That's why I'm asking his actual income.

Well the uplift in rent/mortgage of the additional bedroom (ie ex w needing a 2 bed, rather than one bed) is about £500 alone, add the additional costs of water, heating (when child home from school/during holidays so when exW not using), electricity, food. The additional cost of a second person living in the home is therefore likely to be £800 pcm, so you would need to cover half. But then you add in food, clothing, school equipment, mobile phone contracts, school trips, shoes, toiletries, travel costs, laptop/tablet etc, hair cuts/products, OTC mediation, feminine hygiene items. And next year - prom dress and tickets, GCSE revision aids etc

A simple Google enquiry suggests it is likely to be around £1200- 1700 and this list below does not include some of the stuff above. My kids cost us a fortune

Expense CategoryMonthly Estimated Cost (Low to Mid Range)
Housing & Utilities (Proportional share)
£400 – £700
Food & Groceries
£300 – £450
Clothing & Uniforms
£80 – £150
Transport & Tech
£60 – £120
Social, Pocket Money & School Trips
£90 – £280
Total Estimated Monthly Cost
£1,200 – £1,700

So I’d say the £1000 you were originally paying was about fair?

You spend what you can afford on your children but I don’t think £600/month would go far especially if you are contributing to housing costs. If I could afford it, I’d not see my child have a shitter quality of life by making their resident parent cut back on things that benefit the child like a nicer safer place to live, decent food, extracurriculars etc. Yes, plenty of kids manage with less, but it isn’t a race to the bottom and I’d work hard and pay as much as I could afford to see my child happy and comfortable. I’d expect the resident parent to be doing the same though.

Weird post. Teenagers in London get free transport and admission to major museums and galleries. Food and clothing would be much the same as an adult.

What do you mean, ‘around £1200 a month is being paid between her and her mother to cover costs’?

👍 It’s ok to just say you didn’t read the full post

My daughter, not living in London, costs about £200 a month just with one hobby alone. That’s before we get into the costs of housing, food, transport, clothes, snacks, days out, clothes.

My mortgage is £1700 a month, soon to go up to £2000 a month. Divide that by 4 people, that’s £500 a month per person.

Food costs about £200 a week, £50 per week per person, not including snacks and drinks when out and about, just literally the food I buy from the supermarket for cooking at home, so £200 a month per person.

Plus £20 per week for school lunches or £80 a month.

That’s about £1000 a month before we get into transport costs or electric, water, heating oil, internet, spending money, birthday presents for friends, the £100 I spent to enter her into a sports competition or the £100 in fuel it took me to get there last weekend, or toiletries, school trips, other hobbies, clothes, phone contract, etc. Plus my dd has a part time job for covering some of her own expenses.

And I don’t live in London or the south east. I live in a much more affordable part of the country. I would say £1200 seems quite cheap and £1700 seems much more realistic.

London is relevant because of the high cost of housing. Presumably your DD's Mum is covering the majority of that plus bills because food, travel, dance, music, tutoring, toiletries and clothes could be over £600 a month IMO. The tutor I use is £50 per session. For one instrument we are paying about £20 a week for a 30 minute lesson. Dance would depend on what level she's at but if not serious maybe £50 a month? Otherwise more. At 15 she is still in school uniform and school shoes so it would be hard to spend less than £50 a month on clothes. Just this month I have needed to get my 15yo trainers, a winter coat and a pair of school trousers. Food £100-150 maybe, or more if it includes school meals. Toiletries can be reasonable, £10-20 a month maybe for us. But my DDs have lots of other costs not mentioned here - laptops for school/college, pocket money, water/gas/electricity/WiFi/phone, money for socialising or hosting their friends, fuel costs for driving them around, eating out, interests (one of mine is really into art), school related costs.

Obviously different families cut their cloth according to their means but just from what you've described of your DD's extra curriculars I do think your ex is spending what she says she is. If you don't feel an extra cost is affordable that's up to you but if you're questioning whether your ex is being honest I think she is.

I read it. It's unreasonable to assume that someone who's trying to reduce their CM liability below the legal minimum, is accurately disclosing their full income, which is why I asked. He's sketchy on all the details obviously.

You're missing the point.

What is the new thing costing £500 a month and can you afford it and are you willing to pay for it? If not then she goes without it. That's how it would work if you were together. The money is either there or it isn't.

The costs of a 15yr old dd is tutoring: £900 per month, sports and clubs:£200 per month. Sports kit & school uniform etc: maybe £50 a month.

phOne £36

pocket money - none.

and that’s just what I pay- her dad pays pocket money and clothes if needed. She sells a lot on vinted but saves that money rather than spends it.

Age 15 is a really crucial time with school/tutoring and keeping sports clubs going etc.

by age 16 you may find those costs fall away.

I wouldn’t be trying to limit anything right now. It’s literally just a couple more years and you want to set her up for success with education and fitness etc.

don’t try and portray it as teen girl spending on clothes and makeup- as there are quite a lot of important expenses at this age.

You will get so many varied answers that it would be hard to figure out what's the right number.

What you need to do (assuming you have a good relationship with your ex) is come UK with a budget for your daughters expenses categorized into just haves, nice to haves etc and that way you get a sense of the actual costs and what you can both agree to cover or not e.g. what does additional £500 in costs actually mean?

Your daughter is old enough to also be involved in compiling that information and based on what the numbers look like and what you can both afford you can strip away non essentials etc until you both reach a reasonable number. That reasonable number will vary widely across families and what each family prioritizes, income etc.

Well rent is about £1500 a month for a 1 bed flat so…

Why are you paying £900 for tutoring a month? What are you tutoring her for every day of the month?

A £200 hobby is ridiculous to compare with that a teen costs.
It's nice but not a need.
A lot of families don't have £800 for food a month. Or £100 for a competion.

It's always sems to be the quiite well off parents in these threads. Not the parents on minimum or alike wages.

It's a ridiculous amount of money to tutor a teen for a month. And not standard around here.

I'd absolutely be questioning the additional £500 a month new expense.

The classes she already does are beyond the affordability of most families - dance is ££££, music can be cheaper depending on tuition, and academic tuition is also really expensive but not compulsory.

Holidays every school holiday ARE ludicrous to include in your CM calculation as this is NOT usual, certainly not USA AND skiing every year. I assume you're on average salary if your CMS calculation is coming out at £500.

Tldr - absolute basics are about right, the extra curricular activities and ALL the holidays are for you each to decide are appropriate for either joint (dance, tutoring) or individual (holidays several times a year) expenses. I wouldn't be funding trips on mum's time for example.

Mum can move if she can't afford it.

Very few single parents can afford post London living. Most parents can't at all.

As a dad I wouldn't see it as my responsibility to substitute mum's choice of living.

I think this is difficult to answer and as seen it ends up with assumptions about the burden on each parent, the ability to pay and their characters.

Good GCSE tuition around here (outer London) is £50 an hour so this can rack up if used for a few subjects. If it is for this purpose then it may only be required for a few more months.

Other expenses aside, there have been threads about pocket money for this age and the responses vary so much. DD is getting £15 per week and gets a few hundred a year in birthday and Xmas presents from relatives on top of that. She gets £25 per week for school lunches. Others give less or more pocket money and their kids get more lunch money or make their own lunch from what’s at home. We do top up her Oyster card but I’ve not kept track. At 15 she will get free buses and pay child fares on rail and tube. She had drama classes for approx £100 per month but that was her only hobby and no music lessons etc. She had one school trip abroad which was an expensive one at 3k.

Considering you used chatgpt to ask your question I don’t know why you didn’t just ask it to answer.

You have a very strange approach to the “cost” of your child, she’s not an item on a production conveyor. Put your itemised spreadsheet away and simply provide the maximum that you reasonably can, to do whatever is best for her, same as all decent parents do.

I think OP has been asked to support a new extra curricular or school trip or something. And is questioning whether his DD really costs this much. Of course he doesn't have to pay more and the Mum can make her own decisions about what to do with that, including moving. But I was just answering the question about what things like tutoring, music, dance etc add up to.

If your DD is looking to go to uni and you wish to support her it would be a good idea to be looking at those expenses now if you haven’t done so already.

We have to be straight with what we spend on our teenager. And the rest of the household. It's called a budget.

Most teenagers don't do expensive hobbies, competions, play instruments, go to dance classes or have expensive tutors for a rack of subjects.

Tbh It's very much a MN thing. It's like cost of living isn't a factor on MN.