Annoying toddler toys.

[Catsbumface1]

Toddler toys for 3 year old birthday that are annoying.

Anything with sounds.

Slime or sand that gets everywhere

A very complicated, fiddly craft kit that the parent will inevitably have to spend time making themselves.

A kazoo or whistle

Something really massive that will take over half their lounge.
bonus points if it makes lots of noise as well

Go on, who's pissed on your chips?

Mini bagpipes for a birthday present not sure I do better than that though.

Glitter and glue.... glitter goes everywhere

Anything by Leapfrog, I was so glad when the batteries died on this one https://www.amazon.co.uk/LeapFrog-617603-Follow-Me-Squirrel/dp/B0BNL5L24T

Do they still do Alfie bear? I bought one for my DD and by god it was irritating

Toot toot drivers with the battery nearly run out

Noisy electronic sounds

Take a look at this video, 'alfie bear toy'
https://share.google/WeXAfdzmyN81l8XRQ

A glitter craft or a harmonica..extra points if the harmonica has their fave character on so they LOVE it...small enough to get forgotten about for a bit then come back for days of torture. rinse and repeat.

My 4 year old found a hide and seek singing poo in smyths and was not leaving without it. Wish to god I’d endured the tantrum. It’s loud so you can find it and it just keeps going forever!

https://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-large-police-helicopter/p111128746?s_ppc=2dx_mixed_fashion_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20151162654&gbraid=0AAAAAD2el1zFVtnLTGNCJ7Hoqv1TJtd9Y&gclid=CjwKCAjwlY3WBhANEiwApsNrLYYzT3jSpGUEXKV2jXxGwOpn_RwbJLfp0iqtZ0b_nd-GJlu5S_rL1xoCDZoQAvD_BwE

this helicopter does not have an off switch and fresh air sets it off. I hated my PIL a little bit more every time it went off

Baby Annabelle who randomly says Mama at 3am…

My SIL used to buy presents for DD on the basis her children had liked them…kinetic sand etc. except hers were 9/10 and 3 year old DD would iust pour it on the floors

The Alfie bear also used to randomly go off in the middle of the night

VTech Mix it Up. It’s an electronic mixing deck toy from age 3

Harmonica. My grandparents bought us all one one Christmas and my mum still hasn't forgiven them all these decades later.

I’ll add a baby shark bath toy (it has the tune). I bought 2 one for my house and one for parents house for when nephews/grandkids stayed over. The bloody things would go off at random when out of the bath in various places eg bath box, laundry cupboard. Mine has now been binned. Parents gave theirs to their son (with kids). Because a tuneful shark suddenly going off when you’re showering is the last thing you want.

The dancing snail off Amazon that plays the three little goatherds with disco lights and no off switch.

Peppa Pig Sing and Learn microphone. That thing is LOUD.

Omg, you'd love my BIL. Tbf he is just really kind and wants to buy toys our kids like, but they also just so happen to be very trying.

His gifts:

1. A golf set with real, child-sized wooden golf clubs. It is so challenging to get the ball in those tiny holes, but if you're feeling frustrated by that, hey! You've got a weapon in your hand already and a sibling nearby to swing at!
2. A singing, dancing, plastic pet pig on a lead.
3. A huge marble run set. Now my entire living room is permanently scattered with the pieces. A marble run corner is not nice to step on. Also, the kids find it tricky and get frustrated. Edit - but not frustrated enough to get bored of it.
4. A detective kit including a real Met Police notepad he nicked from work, and toy handcuffs. I am fed up with being arrested, go arrest your brother.

If you want to simultaneously be most popular uncle but annoy your sister in law, take notes off my BIL