Does anyone else find parenting exhausting

[ItsSoHardD]

Does anyone find parenting SO hard? Like the hardest thing you’ve ever done? I read a thread the other day and people were saying how easy it was, especially so when their partners werent around. Then there is me barely coping, theres just so much to DO. It’s never ending, cleaning, cooking, washing, trying to do fun days out, school stuff, appointments 😓😭 is it normal to find it this hard? can anyone else relate?

@Loverurarliving01 i wonder though … I could do or not do all those things and I don’t really see how it would make my life easier. In fact, I think in many ways it would make it harder because if I take them somewhere they are going to enjoy they’ll take themselves off and largely entertain themselves.

I don’t even think my children are especially difficult; they seem quite easy in many ways compared to some I know, but if I just sat at home and read my book or watched my own TV they’d just become bored and demanding and destructive. If I go out to a country park or a wildlife centre I don’t think I see it as me entertaining them, more us all having an enjoyable dayand I get some peace!

Plastic tat is bad for the planet of course but I don’t see how in itself it is hard work, tidying maybe, but plastic and wooden toys need tidying away.

Every evening the bedtime routine takes two hours here from 6 to 8 (two children.) They wake early, my day is full on from 6 onwards and yes, it’s bloody hard work!

Do you home school @Loverurarliving01 ? How old are your kids?

I had a couple of days off work this week, I found parenting SO much easier in those days. I was so much nicer & happier when they came back from school. Usually I have rushed to do the school run straight from work so I've had no time to decompress from my stressful job. I work p/t as well so I take my hat off to f/t workers.

So yes I find parenting extremely hard at times but for me I feel it's trying to juggle everything else that makes it harder.

@Topjoe19 i actually said to MIL today that I could manage everything until work is thrown into the mix too. And I only work part time!

It is fucking exhausting. The End. Bangs gavel. I have ground my teeth away parenting. Xxx

It is hard, especially when children are really small, but before you know it you no longer have toys in the house and the children are off to high school. Try to make the most of it.

I think everyone find it’s exhausting but you were referring to a thread about people finding it easy. It is exhausting but I don’t find it hard at all

I can see that it would have been so much easier a few generations ago when a woman (and a man) would have gone from their parents’ house to getting married, first home and starting a family immediately. No time to get used to anything else.

I’m on my third and finding it much easier as the years and number of children increases but I think it’s because I’m now so used to this being my life and barely remember before in some ways. Like, of course I go through the weekly school emails and immediately add everything to my shared calendar and of course I don’t expect a full nights sleep as it has been so, so long without and of course I make sure all the school uniform is washed before I even think of my own clothes and you know, it goes on and on. There is so much good and so much not in it .. I just think that initially shock (that lasted maybe 4-5 years) wouldn’t have been there if this was 1950 and I hadn’t enjoyed a life before.

I find it hard in terms of mess, mad mornings getting ready for school, and juggling work and the kids. We also have nobody to look after them, so we don’t get much time ‘off’. However, both mine are 8 and 5, so we are well out of the baby and toddler stage. They both enjoy school, have hobbies and are mostly a joy to spend time with (unless arguing!), so in terms of that, I am very lucky.

@Thistimearound tbh it keeps me sane that I really “lived” in my 20s, I got a lot out of my system.

It did make our life easier.

With my first, I did all the meal prep, made separate meals, had loads of plastic plates and cups, and was constantly going out to keep them entertained. It was only for a year but I found it exhausting.

Then I realised that in my culture (Eastern Europe), this just wasn’t really a thing, at least not until recently. So I got rid of all the extra stuff. They use one plate — when it’s time for a new food, I just wash it quickly beforehand. I don’t have piles of dirty dishes sitting in the sink at night. They eat what we eat.

I do take them out, but I don’t plan separate activities around them. I take them with me while I do my own errands and chores. At the weekend, we go on family adventures, but during the week, we don’t. They love being outside, so they spend a lot of time in our garden, helping us grow things.

I also moved my two into one room, which cut the bedtime routine in half. They actually fall asleep more easily this way. It also doesn’t require two people in two separate rooms.

We don’t use phones or tablets, and the TV gets switched off an hour before bed. They can play or choose to go to bed, but they have to tidy up beforehand (they’re 2 and 4).

It works for us, and honestly, simplifying things made a huge difference to how I experienced parenting.

My eldest is 4 and has just started school. My second is 2 and is in nursery, and we’re expecting our third.

I don’t homeschool them: I love them to death, but I definitely wouldn’t have the patience for it!

Everyone finds parenting exhausting!

Noooooo!! It’s like a big long holiday op.

@Meand2LsIm intrigued that you don’t find any aspect of parenting remotely hard!

Not the changing hormones, friendship dynamics, disappointments & challenges, preparing them for the future, the logistics & juggling of activities & different needs, questioning if I’m too strict or not strict enough, getting them to eat 5 a day & a stew as opposed to pizza at the school pod, watching them make mistakes & knowing when to intervene or not, ensuring that they know school & exams are super important but not important enough to harm themselves. I definitely find it hard!

@Loverurarliving01 i guess we’re on different orbits sort of circling the same rough journey but in vastly different ways. It isn’t things like washing plates or anything like that.

Things like running errands are more complicated; everything takes longer and involves a certain amount of forethought (can’t go then as I’m risking a danger nap sort of thing) if I tried to do the bedtime routine with them together it just turns into carnage with them arguing and fighting over who is sitting on my lap and I do actually think each of them deserve a bit of individual time with just me (I’m sure yours have this too, not suggesting otherwise just that this is the only chance I get!)

I am obviously not suggesting I regret having them or anything that extreme but it is bloody hard work and sometimes I do fantasise about a home that stays clean and tidy longer than five minutes! The worst are days I’ve been at work and I’m tired and overstimulated from work and have to come in and have two tired children who have missed me and are hungry and a bit all over the place flinging themselves around and wailing over nothing!

No need for sarcasm for me exhausting and hard go together, so does anyone find it extremely hard?

I would call it more relentless than hard, to be honest. But maybe I’m splitting hairs there!

Not all the time but yes often.

@ItsSoHardD I am not sure I find it extremely hard, physically I’m far less tired now mine are older. My youngest didn’t sleep through the night until he was 3!!! And he is still a shit sleeper at 8! We run him ragged and he now does a lot of sport & is very good. I did find it liberating when his coaches said to me, “he has so much energy, how do you cope”, “he’s a missile”, “he’s like the duracell bunny”, I was like “we know!” 😆

He did rugby training this morning, a match where he was on the whole time & then played with other dc in the playground. In the afternoon he had a cub/beaver sleepover & was playing football with the other dc. He is still not asleep in his tent! 😆😆

It is relentless. There is no day off if say, you are feeling unwell. The responsibility is constant. But - it is a phase, it is not like this forever and your dc grow up and don't need watched all the time. There comes a time, that they don't need you very much at all. This comes quicker than you think.

I was thinking about this the other day. I do wonder if it is just the system we live in where so many of us have to battle the mad mornings (which cause tears and tantrums because we have to get them to school/ nursery and get to work on time) and then the crazy late afternoons (picking them up, feeding, bath time and bed etc. so they are not cranky in the morning). There's no time for anything.

Parenting was fun in the Summer holidays for me where I had all the time in the world, no rushing, playing games at Mealtimes, long days out, wonderful healthy meals etc. It's this way of chivvying them along all the time that makes me think we are just living all wrong.

I find it hard yes. I think it is very temperament dependent though. I have an extremely high energy, anxious, fussy 4yo and a very laid back 1yo. My life got basically 0% harder going from 1 to 2 kids.

Everything but everything results in tantrums and whining from my 4yo at the moment. Getting dressed. Choosing his breakfast. Going out to an activity (that he loves). Changing his clothes for a party.

I'm not pandering and negotiating. I hold every bloody boundary because I know what happens when I don't. And still I have a child who screams "Milk!" Or "Fork!" at me. Or refuses to speak and makes stupid noises. And yes, is corrected and required to ask politely every single time he does this. And has been multiple times a day for months. And still does it every time.

He currently kicks up a fuss every time he has to put his clothes on in the hope we give in and do it for him. And because getting dressed is sometimes the precursor to doing something he doesn't really want like going shopping or going to nursery. Thrashing and screaming "This is impossible!" for every single item of clothing. Prevaricating before getting started - hiding, throwing the clothes around, whining, moaning, screaming. Sometimes hitting, which then requires a mini intervention of its own. Similar rigmarole for tidying up, eating meals, sometimes going to the toilet and brushing teeth. He is totally capable of doing all these things, he just wants to not do them and hopes that if he makes enough of a fuss we will cave and do it for him.

It is extremely irritating. As you can probably tell from how much I have moaned about it here. And it's really frustrating to feel so annoyed with my child so often and to be struggling (and mostly succeeding) not to lose my temper every day, because that's not the kind of parent I want to be.

But my god it's hard work.

@InvisibleDragon while I don’t relate to all of that I know what you mean and felt such a sense of solidarity with you.

Mine aren’t difficult children but like all children present their own challenges. Both have gone through a bereavement and are so very very clingy - sometimes I feel like I have two cats endlessly butting against me and winding around my legs and clambering at me and pushing and slamming into me. I understand they’re looking for comfort and security and I try to give it but my god it is overstimulating.

My six year old never stops talking. Ever. I will say nicely it is lovely to hear him speak but it is early / late / can mummy have some quiet time? Nods and then carries on jabbering on some nonsense! Sob.

My three year old wanting to be carried. It’s exhausting as she’s bloody heavy.

The mess the six yo makes is something else totally; he can destroy a room in two minutes.

My three year olds scream of indignation because her brother hid her doll … like it’s annoying but is it really THAT annoying?

I do love them and I could fill pages about how great they are but … yeah.

Oh yes.
But to be fair- no one told me it was easy!