Is anyone else fed up of football taking over family time??

[ScaredButUnavoidable]

This is kind of light-hearted….. but also a little bit not…

I have two sons and both of their hobbies are football!!!

One son plays for two teams!

Between the two of them, four nights a week are taken up with football training. With travel and training thos requires them being out the house for between 1.5-2 hours. Some nights I go and other nights my DH goes but either way, it’s four nights a week where time together as a family is interrupted and our evenings are rushed.

Then comes the weekend…..and it’s more training and the matches too….

No nice lazy weekend mornings here….

For example one son today had to be up at 6.45am in order to get up and be ready in time to get to the match venue for 8.30am which is over an hours drive away! And they won’t be back until well after lunch time! Meanwhile I’m taking the other son training later on this morning…. and then tomorrow morning they’ve both got matches in the morning, so more early rises and no family time.

Then throw in the weekends where it’s football tournaments which again can be well over an hours drive away and take up the whole entire day!

It’s just endless.

I love the fact they have a hobby and that it’s a physical activity (they are both really fit because of all the sport), and I love that they are a part of a team and they are making good friendships and learning new skills etc etc but I am so fed up with it seeming to dominate all our time 😔

I miss the days where we could have restful evenings and make plans for the weekend without having to always factor in the football. It’s worse with both children doing it as it’s two different schedules we are having to fit around…..well three really seeing as one son plays for two teams.

We did consider asking our oldest son to drop one of his teams, but one of them is an Academy Team and it helps him massively with his skills and will be really beneficial when it comes to applying to college and they have been talking about him getting a part-time age appropriate job role there in a few years too with coaching the younger chikdren etc so we don’t want to take that opportunity away from him.

Nothing can be done really so I’m not looking for any kind of solution, I’m just looking for solidarity from other parents where their children’s love of sports is really, really annoying at times 🤣🤣🤣

Substitute any other activity or sport for football, multiply by the number of DC you have and…that’s parenting. 🤷‍♀️

Can’t the eldest drop the non academy team? Anyone you can lift share with?

Football and rugby and cricket mum here. It’s relentless.

At one point our youngest son was trying to decide whether to choose football or learning how to play the trumpet as his hobby….. inside I was thinking, “Please pick the trumpet, please pick the trumpet” 🤣

I know it would have been louder but at least it wouldn’t have taken up so much of our time (and made him smell so much afterwards and caused so much washing) 🤣🤣

We did consider this too - but he has so many friends on this team that he goes to school with (whereas his Academy team isn’t like that) and they play for the school team too, so I don’t want to take that away from him either.

We do lift share where possible when it comes to our eldest’s local team but that only happens about 2-3
times a month which in the grand scheme of things doesn’t make that much a difference.

My friend’s has three sons and two play cricket and one plays Rugby and she’s knackered!!

My daughter does competitive dance and my son is very busy with taekwando so…
We try to have dinner together as a family once a week but it depends on their training and competition schedule. Plus all the other things we like to do.

It is very draining but I've just accepted my fate. It doesn't last forever and my friends out the other side of it say they now miss it and were sad when their sons hung up their boots.

My DSS plays for two teams which means with training thats four times a week and my DS also plays for two teams so another four times a week. Me and DH have to divide and conquer so it feels like some weekends we don't even see each other.

This definitely wasn’t a part of parenting older children that I was prepared for. Who said things get easier as the childen get older?

Me and DH are like ships that pass in the night most days 🤣

On the plue side, I have learnt so much about football!!

And I have made some really lovely friendships with some of the other mums as we stand there shivering in the cold 🤣

Team sports are known to take more time than other things, IMO.

Competition swimming regimes are gruelling!

Yeah we’ve been there.

Two kids, two teams, every night of the week, games and tournaments. Funnily enough as they are both academy players (cat 1 not development academies) it’s less because they seriously manage load. Plus no tournaments which I don’t miss!

I think you need to change your perspective. I am very close to my children because I spend many hours in a car chatting to them. I watch them do what they love. When family time is available we take it and make the most of it.

They are happy, great kids and football has a lot to do with that. I get having a moan cause yeah it’s a lot but if it isn’t going to change embrace that they aren’t causing trouble, spending their lives on screens and building great skills.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This is parenting, I think. My son is in two football teams and also does gymnastics, swimming and theatre. His dad wants him to start cricket. My toddler is getting an education in it all 😂

I have one child who plays football and the other who plays football and netball. I know the feeling! But I think it’s all part and parcel of parenting sporty kids. Will you son have to give up his grassroots team soon? Where I live, they have to choose in year 7 I think it is whether they will play for academy or grassroots- it can’t be both. That might help a little.

Just be grateful it’s football! There are so so many sports where the training hours are multiples of the hours you detail. Competitive swimmers at a good level are up at 5am every single day for example. Then back in the pool in the evening.
exercise is good for them in so many ways, be grateful they’re in to it, that there’s 2 of you, and that they haven’t chosen a sport with crazy training hours.

I definitely agree with the benefits of them not being on screens!!

We bought them their first Play Station last year and it’s been the biggest waste of money! If they go on it once a fortnight (if that) it’s a miracle 🤣

I just try and stay focused on how much they love it and all the positives they get from it and remember that as parents we do it for them ❤️

How old are they. When i hit 13 i joined swimming amd dance. My parents refused to take or get involved. I had to walk to and home from.both, pay for my own things from paperr round and saturday morning job. Luckily swimming was sxhool team so after school.not am. Made my own dance outfits

My teen plays lead guitar in a punk rock band so it’s carting varying bits of equipment and his mate to gigs and rehearsals at various houses inc. ours.

DH doesn’t drive so it’s all on me.

I mostly enjoy it unless I forget to pack my earplugs. 😂
All the band members live rurally so no one else is disturbed when they practice but that means that every trip is a fair drive away.

I’m glad I’m not stood around outside in the cold though. I’d hate that.

Oh also add into the mix - my DH is the coach of both teams 🙄 That adds another dynamic. The football stuff and all the admin etc organising tournaments, never ends!

Yep we did it for years 😳 it's pretty relentless, especially with 2! Mine are all grown up now and I kind of miss it 😂 we are still a football family and get together to watch matches in the pub or on TV and adult sons often cook for us all which is lovely. I used to relish the odd weekend when the weather was dreadful & matches were cancelled so we could have a lazy morning!

What you're giving them is priceless, they learn so much from being part of a team and participating in a sport. My boys made friendships that are still going strong in adulthood!

Absolutely correct. We had swimmers. Try being out the house in the early hours of the morning before school then again 5 evenings a week.
This is what happens when the family doesn’t sit around the house doing nothing at all - it’s called being a parent.

Yes and it’s the same with music. Every weekend, multiple evenings after school, loads of unpredictable summer residentials so you can’t book a holiday, Easter residentials getting in the way of exam revision. They love it, but it’s a massive commitment on a family level.

On the plus side with music, you don’t need to get up early and it’s all done sitting down inside rather than shivering on the edge of a pitch!

This is the stage of life you are at. I have done it too, did it for probably 20 years in total, if you count everyone and all the sports. And yes the laundry mountains!! We wanted our family to be fit and healthy, and to be socially adept with all sorts of peers and adults. Playing them sports gave them all that, and an enduring fitness and interest in an active life which has lasted into their adult lives. All over 30 now. Yes it’s hard, but the rewards are monumental.

Surely what you're getting is family time? You're spending time with dc indulging their hobbies and fitness. Families I know with dc who do no hobbies don't generally sit around the table together having games nights etc, the dc are upstairs on screens.

My dc are both out 7 days at various activities and I wouldn't want it any other way, they've got energy to burn! They have more friends than I've accumulated in a lifetime and are learning so many skills.

If you find the time wated why don't you get involved, be first aid on something? You might find it more rewarding if you're involved?

This must be so tiring. My son has started a hobby on one day of the weekend recently and I find that annoying for eating into the day for getting him there and back!

Thank god he doesn’t like football. Could you take turns with other parents on the team to do the ferrying?

The boys are 9 and 12.

We love watching them play, it’s certainly not time wasted, I just wish it didn’t take up so much time because I do miss having quality time where the 4 of us can all be together doing something as a family, and I miss being able to have time as a couple with my DH too. Everything is just so busy and rushed all the time, and sometimes it would just be nice for us all to have some relaxing quiet time together.

I do get it. Every evening is a complicated thing where everyone eats at different times and then a rush for homework or whatever. And no one is done for hours and hours so I miss the time with my husband too. But it’s only a few years of it really and then I’m assuming I’ll be super bored when it’s just us again!