Is anyone else fed up of football taking over family time??

[ScaredButUnavoidable]

This is kind of light-hearted….. but also a little bit not…

I have two sons and both of their hobbies are football!!!

One son plays for two teams!

Between the two of them, four nights a week are taken up with football training. With travel and training thos requires them being out the house for between 1.5-2 hours. Some nights I go and other nights my DH goes but either way, it’s four nights a week where time together as a family is interrupted and our evenings are rushed.

Then comes the weekend…..and it’s more training and the matches too….

No nice lazy weekend mornings here….

For example one son today had to be up at 6.45am in order to get up and be ready in time to get to the match venue for 8.30am which is over an hours drive away! And they won’t be back until well after lunch time! Meanwhile I’m taking the other son training later on this morning…. and then tomorrow morning they’ve both got matches in the morning, so more early rises and no family time.

Then throw in the weekends where it’s football tournaments which again can be well over an hours drive away and take up the whole entire day!

It’s just endless.

I love the fact they have a hobby and that it’s a physical activity (they are both really fit because of all the sport), and I love that they are a part of a team and they are making good friendships and learning new skills etc etc but I am so fed up with it seeming to dominate all our time 😔

I miss the days where we could have restful evenings and make plans for the weekend without having to always factor in the football. It’s worse with both children doing it as it’s two different schedules we are having to fit around…..well three really seeing as one son plays for two teams.

We did consider asking our oldest son to drop one of his teams, but one of them is an Academy Team and it helps him massively with his skills and will be really beneficial when it comes to applying to college and they have been talking about him getting a part-time age appropriate job role there in a few years too with coaching the younger chikdren etc so we don’t want to take that opportunity away from him.

Nothing can be done really so I’m not looking for any kind of solution, I’m just looking for solidarity from other parents where their children’s love of sports is really, really annoying at times 🤣🤣🤣

For them, this is family time

I was in a similar situation with our kids. A few of us, mums decided to have a kick about whilst the kids were playing and now we have three women's teams. Best thing I ever did. We train when the kids did. Now the kids are young adults and no longer play football but I do! I am absolutely rubbish but love it so much.

How is it though?

One child is with one parent in a car whilst the other child is in a different car with the other parent.

And car journey aside, they are on a football pitch with their friends and the coaches, not with family.

Even if they do class it as “family time” - I don’t, and that’s what this thread is about.

💯 agree on the effect it has on the relationship with your DH @ScaredButUnavoidable Especially as mine coaches two teams. Even when we have an evening “off” he’s constantly arranging games and refs and whatever else needs doing. And yes, we have the same Saturday night issues because we have to be up and out by 8am most Sundays (and Saturdays 😬).

I’m sitting at football now with a cuppa - kick off not for another 20 mins but we’ve had to travel to get here and be here 45 mins before kick off for the warm up… I actually love watching him play but it doesn’t take away from the fact that it would just be nice to do something else on a weekend!

That must be so hard with your DH being a coach too. That must be so stressful for him too doing all that organising! I have a lot of respect for the dads who do all that work in their own time!

I’m watching my youngest son and thankfully the weather isn’t too bad!

We are playing at home this morning which is really close to where we live but my other son is away so he and DH won’t be back until after lunch and by the one he’s showered and eaten and then flopped on the sofa to rest for a bit the day is pretty much gone.

They love it though and I love how much they love it, so I put a big smile on my face and keep my despair to myself in front of them and then have a good old whinge to my husband when the kids are in bed 🤣

Oh God yes!

I have internal celebrations when a match or training session is cancelled at the weekend!!

It always just feels so nice to be able to spend the day together doing something else!!!

Cinema, going out for walks, visits to other family members, playing games in the house, going somewhere for lunch or dinner etc… it’s bliss!

I think this is quite normal. If you have healthy, engaged, active children be grateful. I have two DCs one is sporty, one into performing arts. Takes up significant chunks of time during weekdays and weekends. They love it, they learn and grow and then we squeeze family time in where it fits. We have most evening meals together though and then try and make the school holidays special.

It was rugby for my son. He played for his school (so training there no issue but matches every Saturday early) and for a local team so training every Thursday night and matches (or more training) Sunday 8.30 all weathers. I’m a widow so just me. I did volunteer to cook the bacon sandwiches/coffee/match meal during the Sunday slot so at least I was inside and warm! Honestly it was a great bonding experience and hope my son appreciated it! My poor DD got short shrift as being younger she was dragged along too on Sundays. She did netball when my son was doing whatever sport that season and that really was a juggle on Saturdays.
Adults now and really it’s just for a few years. Try car pooling with another parent if possible?

I really get this, I have 3 DSs all of whom have played for the same team over the years. I'm now into my 22nd year of it. Luckily we often only have matches every other Saturday, although in summer friendlies seem to be every week.
I don't know what I'll do at weekends when youngest ages out!

I work for a facility with 3G pitches. If we have a really raining Thursday/Friday the coaches are all on the phone frantically trying to book a pitch.
I think, just relax and give everyone the morning off, no one will be disappointed!

I get it, this is my future. But I agree with a PP who advised to change your perspective. You ask for family time, but you’re having it. All that time you’re spending together, watching from the sidelines, showing your support, being available to them and prioritising them will be remembered by all of you. Far more than 4 of you sitting round for a lazy breakfast that the kids won’t appreciate or remember. In a few years time you will have slumbering teenage boys and maybe the pace will slow down, but for now it seems like you’re doing a great job and I’m sure they will be happy boys.

Problem is the knock on effect - if you’re in a league it’s not as simple as cancelling and doing it next week.