Feeling overwhelmed with my 9 week old and needing reassurance

[Lilbonbon]

My DS is 9 weeks old today, I know he is so fresh and still adjusting to the world and I'm trying to be patient with him but I'm really struggling now with lack of sleep and feeling like I have no clue what I'm doing.

For context neither me nor DH have mothers, and I just don't feel like there's anyone I can truly ask for advice.

DH works 6 days a week and I'm home alone in a rural area with no car and no childcare and a 9 week old who.the internet said would be transferred after the 6-8 week fussy stage.

He will only contact nap, doesn't sleep quietly at night and is so fussy at the moment.

I don't really know what to do with him when he's awake, we do floor time and tummy time and sing songs, but is that enough?

On top of it all I've stsrted my period again but it's weird and light and I'm EBF day and night so.just super confused.

DH is incredible and supports me so well, but we really have no one, and i worry about him burning out.

I would appreciated any hope, any advice, and sleep tips that anyone has to offer.

Gratefuly,
A 23yr old first time mum.who desperately wants to get it right but feels overwhelmed.

I'm not sure what facilities you have near you (I know you said you are very rural on an island).
Could you do a little routine for example :
Monday - library (choose new books or read in the library).
Tuesday - church playgroup
Wednesday - walk to local village shop and chat to shopmeeper
Thursday - visit a coffee morning /old people's home. Old people often love babies.
Friday - trip to the beach/wood/forest.

Are there any online things you want to do?you could take up a new hobby - knitting /crochet /embroidery or start learning a language etc? Or possibly photographing things you find out and about?
Any films you want to see online or TV shows you've always wanted to catch up on?
Good luck with it all, you sound like you are doing a fab job.

Take him out, mum and baby groups, local library if you have one, park, coffee with friends even a whetherspoons with a book.

Join an online mum and baby group.

And dont worry 9 weeks is hideously hard work, youve got this.

Sounds like you are doing great.

Keep posting! As a first time mum over 26 years ago I remember feeling completely overwhelmed. I found mumsnet when the youngest was born 22 years ago and it was a great support to find others who were or had been in my situation and to validate my feelings and experiences.

Congratulations.

You sound like you are doing really well. Getting out for 10k steps a day is extremely good so soon and it will be keeping you fit and giving baby a change of scenery. Try to have your friends round in the evening a bit even if it is difficult. The contact napping and poor sleep at night is very normal; one of mine was a bad sleeper who wouldn't be put down for months, the other slept lovely from the start and I did nothing different with them. Small babies don't do much. If you have a play mat, a bouncy chair and some rattles and read books to them there isn't much else to do. I did tummy time daily with one of mine but the other hated it so I couldn't - the tummy time one crawled, the other bum shuffled and walked late but is just fine now. I used to feed or be napped on in the sofa and watch cosy box sets like Gilmore Girls with a drink, food and a book in easy reach.

Firstly you are doing wonderfully! This was me a year ago!!! I was so so overwhelmed.if he is feeding well, healthy, clean then you have done everything you can…its ok to let him contact nap - mind still does :). I use the time to do my grocery shopping and believe it or not - read!!! I bought a notebook from the supermarket and I use the time to write to my child! (Even on the hard days). Hopefully it gives her the reassurance if she is a mum one day and feels utterly lost as I did!
tummy time is fine! I used to play music 🎶 and had one of those protector light things for bed time (so I could atleast brush my teeth, remove make up etc) whilst she was watching it. Do you have a mobile for the cot? That’s pretty handy.
others have recommended baby groups. Was a godsend, although I didn’t make any friends it is nice to get out the house! If not, settle on the couch with some boxsets. Once your baby is mobile, there is no sitting down. Read/sing/I still do alphabetical affirmations… it was one way to pass the time. Totally ok to feel a bit overwhelmed, it’s ok he is fussy, some babies just are. Mine never slept, she is only just sleeping through the night and napping consistently rather than the random times of the past! You are doing great. Enjoy your baby and shake off the worry you are both doing what is expected

If there are a few babies locally, can you set up a wee group to meet a couple of times a week for a walk or a cuppa at each others house? And look into co-sleeping if the sleep deprivation is getting to you - having their own clear space is best, but I used to find myself falling asleep feeding at night which is far more dangerous than planning to co-sleep - feeding on your side lets you doze too and was a life saver for me, esp if I had to drive. It all gets easier and sounds like you're doing great - don't worry!

I found the 2-4 month stage the hardest! I also remember reading that they should be less fussy after 6-8 weeks but my baby was actually relatively easy for the first 7 weeks and then super fussy after that, getting distracted for naps and feeds. We also only contact napped for the first 9 months as that's all he would accept. My advice would just be to lean into and accept it as normal infant behaviour, there's so much you see online about what you/they should be doing when in reality normal babies are all different and a lot of them won't be put down etc. also don't feel like you need to be productive at all either, your house might have to be a mess and your husband can help out when he can. Enjoy the contact nap time to watch a good TV series, you will miss it when they are a toddler! It does sound really hard though having your husband working a lot and being so remote, it sounds like you're getting out as much as possible which is the best thing you can do.

You and baby are alive which is an excellent achievement. Living remotely is a challenge so well deserved for getting out and about daily. My daughter joined a mumsnet baby group and it saved her sanity in the early days with a non sleeper. There was always someone on line in the wee small hours to chat to. I wish you all the best with the joy your baby will bring you