Where am I going wrong with my 15 month olds schedule?

[Hannah2025]

Please can somebody tell me where I’m going wrong with my son’s schedule? He will be 15 months old in 4 days time. His sleep is extremely up and down (but more so down). A good night is a couple of wakes earlier in the night before midnight. A bad night is multiple wakes through the whole night lasting hours.

6/6:30 wake (this varies each day but this is the average time)
8:00 breakfast (cereal with milk, peanut butter toast and berries)
9:00 out and about to the park/shops
11:00 back for milk and nap
11:30 down for naptime after 240ml of milk* *(he naps on average 90min but again this varies. Sometimes he will only nap 30/40 mins and refuses to go back down)
13:30 lunch (marmite sandwich, avocado, tomatoes, fruit, cheese)
Afternoon we either pop out again or play in the garden/indoors
17:00 dinner (either pesto pasta or bolognese and mash he’s very fussy)
17:30 bath time
18:00 wind down for bed
18:45/19:00 bedtime

We’ve tried earlier bedtimes/later bedtimes nothing seems to work.

Where am I going wrong?! I feel like I’m sending myself insane. I’m totally on the verge of getting a sleep consultant, but I keep holding on hope that he will grow out of it :(

Have a read of the Sleep Training book by Richard Ferber. It's a game changer.

What you're doing during the day is irrelevant. You need to teach your baby not to wake up several times a night.

It works really quickly. For us, it was on the third night that she slept through.

Is there only one bottle before the nap?
One on waking or at bedtime?
Is he fed during the night?

Lunch and dinner seem quite close - maybe that's why he's fussy at dinner time. If there is no bedtime bottle, may be he is waking hungry during hte night?

I'd may be move lunch earlier and nap afterwards.

Also be warned, with the variation of nap length, he may be getting close to dropping it completely. Both mine dropped theirs at 18 months.

As a parent of two poor sleepers I can feel your pain. I tried everything with mine. They were both stubborn and would scream longer than I could stand to complete any meaningful sleep training. The health visitors suggested the disappearing chair to try and get my youngest to go to sleep without being in arms as they thought him rousing in night and not still being in arms was what was causing the crying. It didn't work at all and I watched the sun rise on two consecutive nights attempting it.

Not what you want to read but nothing worked for us in the end other than time. My youngest is now 18 months and mostly sleeps the night. Occasionally we'll have a wake up, usually when a tooth is coming through or if his glue ear is affecting him. We just carried on responding to him, we split the nights into sections so if he woke up a lot on a bad night we were both getting decent chunks of sleep and one day we realised we didn't need to do that anymore.

Solidarity and hope it improves for you soon

Could he get to a later nap time and later bedtime? With lunch before nap. I'd try later dinner to, going from 5pm overnight is a long time, then you could eat as a family as this is proven to improve children's eating, and he'd be hungrier. Wakes early on in the night or long wakes suggest he isn't tired enough for the night, so that's why I'd try a later bedtime but you need to be consistent with it for a few weeks. We switched to a floor bed at 14 months and by 18 months mine slept through the first time, partly I just think she had to be ready to do that, and partly I think the bed helped as she loves the space and we can sit next to her whilst she falls asleep so she gets that connection. When we first got it, it was to move away from cosleeping in our bed, so I'd go in with her from about 3/4am, but after a few months she slept through.

We tried Ferber a couple of times and it was absolutely awful for us unfortunately. It lasted hours and he just got more and more upset, so we’ve decided to avoid Ferber/sleep training all together! Thank you though

Just one bottle before his nap and one before bed. Sometimes he won’t have the one before his nap if he’s too tired, but if he doesn’t have it his naps seem to be shorter. We’ve tried replacing the bottle with his lunch bringing it earlier, but again, he seems to nap only around 30 mins or so when we do that. A full bottle seems to keep him asleep longer during his nap. He doesn’t feed during the night. I am also starting to wonder if he is going to be one of these babies who will drop his nap early tbh. He has never been a high sleep needs baby, and apparently I was the same when a baby and dropped all my naps super early!

Our boy is exactly the same re the sleep training. He is so stubborn and knows what he wants. We tried gentle sleep training a couple of times and it was absolutely awful, so never again. Thank you for your honesty! Hearing that things may get better gives me a lot of hope.

I would love to aim for a family dinner! We do sometimes eat super early as a family, but it would be great to get his dinner time later so we can all eat at a more normal time. The issue is where he wakes quite early (6am most days but today was 5:40) he will often fall asleep early in his pram which screws everything up for the day as it turns into a cat nap. He then refuses to nap at all later on.

I really like the idea of a floor bed, as I think he’s sick of his cot and finds it annoying. He also co sleeps with me pretty much every night after doing the first half of the night in his cot, so I’d love somewhere I could lay with him and remove the co sleeping element to try and encourage solo sleeping. Thanks for the tip!

I've just remembered that I was sent this link when I was in touch my health visitors regarding my youngest's poor sleep. There may be something in here that helps or at least makes things feel better for you!

www.basisonline.org.uk/

Why aren’t our giving breakfast when they wake up? I’ve always done that with my 3. Weetabix at breakfast eg just after wake up time. Even if it’s 6:30-7 I still give it.

Is he eating enough? You haven’t mentioned snacks, I’d expect a typical eating day for a one year old to be:

6.30 - wake and small drink of milk (optional)
7.00 - breakfast
9.00 - snack
11.30 - lunch
12 - nap
1 - wake
2 - snack
4.30 - tea
6.30 - bath and milk before bed

He isn’t too interested when he first wakes up. He wants to play for an hour before we start breakfast and getting ready for the day!

Oh yes absolutely. Lots of snacks through the day! He’s 99th centile for height and 95th for weight so a very big boy.

I'd try changing his diet a bit all the same and include more filling fare - Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, etc.

Other than that, blackout curtains, brown noise machine, and a weighted blanket might help.

There's a sleep regression at this age. Just do what you're doing and it'll pass.

Honestly?

We just bought a double bed and got in with DD. Nothing else worked other than company.

Started with spending the whole night with her (this was months long) and then led to sneaking away when she's was back asleep. I have perfected the art of rolling off the bed without disturbing the mattress!

Edit: That is we put a double bed in her bedroom. I didn't want to form a habit of coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night. So she stays put all night in her own room.

Ugh I wish he’d eat this, but he is so picky with his food! He flat out refuses yoghurt, eggs and most cheeses except cheddar. I’ve even tried hiding it in pasta sauces etc but he won’t have it

We do all of this bar the weighted blanket. In fact, we still have nothing in his crib as I get scared he will get trapped, but maybe I’m still just living in the old mindset and should try kitting it out a bit now he’s older!

I heard this but unfortunately he’s never been a great sleeper. The last 7 weeks have been another level though!

Interesting! I have been considering a large floorbed so maybe the co sleeping in his room then sneaking away is the way forward for him! Thank you for sharing

Both my DS' sleep was up and down until 14-16 months, when the last of their molars came through entirely. Some attrocious nights and some nice long nights, made no sense until I looked in their mouth and could see tips of molars coming through. Some calpol/nurofen before bed might help?

And a later bedtime? Mine only went to sleep about 8.30 at that age.

Agree molars could be causing issues. But you are also doing a very long overnight, which for some is fine but for others (mine included) it didn't work. If there's a 90min nap plus up to 11h45 overnight sometimes may be contributing. There will be people who say theirs does 12hrs and you just need a good routine etc but mine always slept better with a longer nap and shorter night (11hrs max). A lower sleep needs baby may need less, also indicated by occasional short nap. When you've adjusted bedtime how long did you wait? It can take a few weeks. But we also had a lot of separation anxiety at this age as I went back to work and wakes increased as a result 　

Could he be thirsty? Does he ever drink plain water? I love Marmite but it is very high in salt. A paediatrician relation won’t let his young children have it very often.

"Good" and "bad" to describe sleep are probably not especially helpful terms here. What do you think is "arong" wotb his sleep? Waking once or twice and then settling again quickly (with or without help is entirely normal for this age. Split nights are not uncommon and suggest sleep pressure isn't high enough.

How long does it take him to fall asleep at night?

When you've tried changing things like a slightly later bedtime have you tried it consistently for at least a week to see if there is any difference?

Is he calm and relaxed in the last 3o kins before sleep?

I also wondered why breakfast is 2 hours after waking