Am i off my rocker for wanting to move family to SW France after struggling to settle in Ireland

[ThisCrazyCat]

Haven't been on Mumsnet since the crazy days of all night breast feeding..turning to you now to gather opinion.

Am i off my rocker for considering moving to France (specifically near Pau) with son who would be (11) and three older kids who would be at Uni/starting out in first jobs they will be 17, 20 & 22. We left britain 10 years ago to live in Ireland (i'm irish, dad is british), but the kids haven't settled well; the only one that has settled is the 18yr old who'll be off to uni if we move. When i say the kids haven't settled i mean it; we've had years of camhs with one, and one other had to go to a boarding school as he was being bullied so much in the local school. We live rurally and 11 yr old has next to no friends.

I hate the climate and perma darkness here and want a clean break. I speak medium french..DH and kids speak none, but can learn.

I would love to hear from anyone who took the plunge and emigrated, or even better if you emmigrated to France, and even better again if you emigrated to the SW France!

You haven’t said whether your DH has gotten Irish Citizenship. If not, that should be a priority. Have your DC got their Irish passports?
As for schooling, I can’t imagine adding in an unfamiliar language will improve things. You may find France even more difficult to integrate with than rural Ireland.
if your youngest is a year or more from secondary school, then it may be worth moving to France for 3/6/12 months to see how it works out.

OP have you ever considered moving up north? The schools up here are great and we don't have the same housing crisis as over the border. At least there's no language barrier and you're familiar with the culture etc.

Even if you have ‘work from anywhere’ policy with your employer, it will still need to be permitted by the country you end up in. You will need to check the tax liability. My employer allows us 4 weeks from any other country but we have to check that country will allow it. It does not permit permanent work from other countries due to the complexity with tax and NI equivalent @ThisCrazyCat

we've had years of camhs with one

So you want to put the kid in a situation where they cannot even speak to CAMHS because of a language barrier? You are completely failing to think this through.

Why don't you just move back to the UK? Your kids are quite old. They can't just learn French through play at school as they would have as younger kids. How can you expect them to get up to a fluent enough level for uni/work without living there for a significant amount of time? This is a crazy plan.

And French people.

I’m a total Francophile, have a house in France and the DC have been coming to France since they were babies. They speak French pretty well (A level snd GCSE) but there would have been a riot if I’d suggested relocating. Don’t do it OP.

By the way, why Pau? I don’t know the area but I’ve been in the south of France this week and it’s been up to 38 degrees. I love heat, but that was a bit OTT for me.

May I ask what was your plan when you moved to a rural area to integrate & develop friendships? Did you join clubs & activities. Did you volunteer?

All rural locations everywhere are the same. You're the incomer is up to you to get out & make social connections

FWIW I think you are bonkers to move from one rural location to another where you don't speak the language.

Your employer may let you work where tou like but Irish Revenue won't . You may end up with tax bills in Ireland & France