22 month old refusing baths

[Hydrangea60]

My 22 month old son always used to love his baths until one day a few weeks ago he suddenly decided he hated them (for no clear reason that we can work out) and we're really struggling.

He went through a few days of tolerating showers but now hates them even more. We've tried making baths into water play, doing them at different times of day, getting in with him, different toys etc and nothing's worked. We're managing to quickly wash him every few days but can only wash his hair once a week as he goes mad, screaming and thrashing and climbing out of the bath and it's just not safe.

The HV said to offer him a choice of toys to take in, but he just wants books or crayons (basically anything he knows can't go in the bath). Reading to him during bath time or putting on his Tonie box hasn't worked either.

I know there are other toys we can get (tbh his bath toys are probably a bit young for him now) but I'm reluctant to spend money on things he won't use. I know we need to ensure he's clean but the whole thing is so stressful and awful now I just don't know what to do :(

Have you tried bath crayons or the books that change in the water? My similar age son has a few of those books that he enjoys. What about bath bombs? DS likes those especially if they make the water colourful

We had one of those shower halos so that the water wouldn’t run down our DS’ face. Would something like that help?

How about a shallow bath in the kitchen sink?

You can get bath crayons?

we also had this at a similar age. We tried so many things cos things stopped working.

I found that getting her animal toys to jump in first helped.

alternatively …. Quick washes and go swimming at the weekend? That gives a good wash until the bath refusal passes (everything is a phase… it will pass)

Also once a week hair wash is plenty! I do my
daughters every few weeks.

This is absolutely terrible !!!@

We have a severely disabled boy who has just turned 17 but functions 2-3. He started struggling with hair washing. Now before the bath we choose a bath bomb that changes the colour of the water and has a plastic dinosaur in the middle. He is allowed after hair wash. Expensive but works. We play with the dinosaur in the bath afterwards

We had a phase of this. We did a bath every other night with accompanying screaming, hair wash once a week or if filthy (yogurt in hair etc). The thing is, he loved water play at nursery still. So one day I got him to stand and throw all his toys in, which he loved. Then I lifted him in (standing) which he was not happy about, then showed him water coming out of a toy. He held his hands in the stream of waters I encouraged him to throw all his toys back out of the bath. next thing I know, he’d sat down and was playing.

It was a phase and it lasted about 2 months, he’s back to loving baths again now.

Yeah just a phase, I have two older ones who went through this phase at various points, and a youger one around the same age who is in this phase. We just shower him once a week as a general rule, obviously more if needed if he's very dirty. He screams and thrashes so it's a 2 person job to ensure he's safe but it takes less than 5 minutes and it's done. There's no point in us running the bath and all that faff for him to behave the same way. He will outgrow it eventually.

Once a week bathing for a baby is totally fine (obviously more if they actually need it). one of my older ones was under dermatology for eczema for awhile aged 1-3 ISH and they told me it was fine to wash them once a week and to avoid washing them anymore than that if it could be helped. All my kids have eczema so we don't wash them unnecessarily.

Paddling pool in the garden ? As the weather is nice
warmish water and a soapy flannel

Or just get on with it and ignore the screaming ( 90s baby mum , seen it all )

This. And don’t make a big deal. 10 minutes tops

My son did this. He weirdly suddenly needed the bath to be about 2 degrees colder, so 35/35.5 compared to 37. He wouldn't sit down in the bath at all, would just stand and scream and fight being sat/laid down in the water. A relatively easy fix to try, would give it a few goes for him to realise it's a better temperature for him (if that's the issue anyway!)

Has your son have any skin conditions at the moment? My DC also went through this phase but she has eczema and the bath would sting. I also think it was 22-23m when she started being more aware of it being uncomfortable and that’s where washing was a nightmare. Had to just throw the water on, rub the emollient, throw more water and get her out through the screaming.

Seems fine to me. Lots of functional adults only wash their hair every few weeks. Washing children’s hair with shampoo regularly is a fairly recent thing, it’s not compulsory.

Buy bath crayons, but ultimately toddlers don’t get to decide these things you do, the trick is to state you are doing x and do it - my dd wouldn’t have done anything if we gave her choice

My 2.5 year old nephew refused baths recently. He’s now taking baths, but not all the time, he’ll sometimes have an off day where it’s a no. Far better than when he was refusing them completely.

I wouldn’t force it, much too stressful.
Hands face and bottom wash before bed.
put some waterproof bathrooms and crayons, bubble bath near the bath - only allowed if he has a bath.
i was going to suggest the paddling pool idea as per PP, or some water play in the garden with sneaky wash/hair wash included.

It's a phase and hopefully will pass soon. For now, just give him a strip wash at bedtime with a bowl of warm soapy water and a flannel. Quick hair wash once a week. Let him wander in and out of the bathroom when you're having a bubble bath and engage him in some play blowing handfuls of bubbles etc (obviously have another adult nearby to keep an eye on him)

Why?

I wash mine daily, it short and fine…
but my daughters is not and she doesn’t enjoy washing it. It also takes ages to dry. It never gets greasy that I’ve seen - plenty of adults wash weekly(or less) if they have a certain type of hair. She doesn’t get itchy like I do after more than a day. The last few times
we've done it in the shower and she wore goggles which went well.

Shes very good at getting into the bath now, she washes, brushes teeth etc. so I know everything is a phase!

Both my boys did this. I think it's a control thing. I ditched the bath a few times entirely, and things got better. If they were particularly messy or sweaty, we tried harder, but otherwise took the pressure off.

I remember washing their bits in the sink a few times.

It worked and they both grew out of it relatively quickly and went back to loving baths.

I think when they approach 2, they just start testing boundaries relentlessly. Pick your battles. Toothbrushing for example was always non-negotiable.

Thanks for all your replies, it's good to know it's a fairly normal thing at this age. We'll try some bath crayons and bath bombs, and the shower halo for hair washes, and see if that makes a difference (as well as a slightly lower bath temperature). We've already cut the baths down to a couple of times a week with hair washing once a week.

We have a small travel bath so I'll try using that as a paddling pool in the garden at the weekend if it's warm enough. He's quite tall for his age so too big for our kitchen sink now unfortunately.

I don't think he has eczema as far as I can tell. I did have it when I was younger but I can't see any signs of it with him at the moment.

Mine had sensitive skin prone to eczema. We ended up only having baths or showers once a week or if they got really dirty. We washed hands, face and bottom bits everyday but otherwise we just had a dirty happy child.

Paddling pool is great. Cool/Tepid water in a bath is also lovely in this weather. We also used to wash them in the sink quite a bit.

Otherwise just a wet flannel will do the job and don't worry about it.

It depends. I am white, I was my hair on alternate days. My children are mixed white and black, if I washed their hair as much as my own it would be in a state. Different people require different hair care

Is it possible that he might be autistic? A lot of autistic people can’t stand the feeling of water on them.

This is normal. Just crack on. During this phase makes the baths short and fun. Ignore the screaming.
Remember you have a tiny child who has no concept of hygiene, safety etc. You set the tone.
A quick bath. Hairwash 2-3 times a week. In and out of necessary.
Cuddle and well done after bath.
it will pass. Your child will enjoy baths again.
You know what’s best for him and part of that is being clean