22 month old refusing baths

[Hydrangea60]

My 22 month old son always used to love his baths until one day a few weeks ago he suddenly decided he hated them (for no clear reason that we can work out) and we're really struggling.

He went through a few days of tolerating showers but now hates them even more. We've tried making baths into water play, doing them at different times of day, getting in with him, different toys etc and nothing's worked. We're managing to quickly wash him every few days but can only wash his hair once a week as he goes mad, screaming and thrashing and climbing out of the bath and it's just not safe.

The HV said to offer him a choice of toys to take in, but he just wants books or crayons (basically anything he knows can't go in the bath). Reading to him during bath time or putting on his Tonie box hasn't worked either.

I know there are other toys we can get (tbh his bath toys are probably a bit young for him now) but I'm reluctant to spend money on things he won't use. I know we need to ensure he's clean but the whole thing is so stressful and awful now I just don't know what to do :(

Get the paddling pool out??

My youngest refused to sit in the bath around this age.
He enjoys a cooler bath, got him some rubber dinosaurs and we put them in funny positions or “peeping” through the bubbles and he gets in to find them.
He hates having water on his face so only wash his hair once a week, it’s a 2 man job, we wet his hair with a flannel, quick shampoo and rinse off VERY fast with the handheld shower. He screams for a few mins then is fine.
Oddly tho, he will happily sit playing with some toys in the bottom of the shower if I’m in it and I can sneakily wash his hair with the water that runs off me.

Dd1 went through a phase of this about 18 months. She was happy getting in with me in the bath which we did a few times. And then we picked up a small bath chair, and she sat in that happy as anything! Used it for a few weeks and then she randomly said out, climbed out and played next to it in the bath and that was that!

Just put them in the bath. End of. Yes you might get a bit of screaming but who cares? Your child needs to know that you’re the boss and you’re going to wash them whether they like it or not, because hygiene is a basic, essential need that isn’t negotiable.

Bath crayons and bath books exist. Could you take him to choose a new bath toy? You can get in the bath with him. You don’t need to shampoo his hair more than once a week anyway. Does he like going swimming or in the paddling pool?

Some people get a smaller bath in the living room (on a plastic mat!) - kids need to wash but that doesn't have to happen in a bath.

Or just wash in front of the bath with a flannel.

Just keep a nightly routine of bathing or showering him every day whether he likes it or not. Bathing primarily is about hygiene, not play and hygiene is not negotiable. To be honest, I'd switch it to mornings because if he never enjoys them but still has to have them, it's better he does it in the morning so he's fresh as possible for school/work.

Do not make bathing optional. It is a must, every day.

There is NO evidence that daily bathing is bad for skin..even skin conditions.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41208015/

My kids went through this.
I would get them to stand in the empty bath and slosh bowls / Jugs of water on them. Soap them up then rinse the same way. You could do this using a bucket of warm water or from the sink,
I gave it a silly name like standy bath / bucket wash or something else silly and they liked this. You could even get them to stand in the bucket for some silliness to break the tension.
It was the pressure from the shower they didn't like. If you start this in the garden while it is warm you can move it to the bath but tell them the same name so they know what it is.

I had this problem with my son so I put his baby bath into the big bath, had lots of things to occupy him while getting him washed which worked well. I told him I would let him decide when he wanted to get rid of the baby bath as he was big enough to decide. Yes it worked.