What was your first week with newborn really like?

[Boxiboxi21]

In the final stretch with baby due soon, and am wondering how best to prepare!

I don't know anyone personally who has been really honest / upfront about what it's really like in the first week. My cousins I feel put on a brave face about it and my older relatives don't seem to recall what it was like.

What has been your experience and any top tips for me? What items did you find most useful etc.? Were you mostly on the sofa in those first few days feeding and cuddling?

For context I have a very supportive partner but extended family live 30 mins' drive away and I haven't been to any antenatal / baby classes yet, so don't have many friends locally who will visit.

It entirely depends on your partner.
My first time. Absolutely hell. I had no sleep, didn't wash for like 2 weeks. He had me working for his company with a screaming baby, taking customer calls and doing his admin within a week. He left to go out with his family the first night we were home. Baby screamed so much. I couldn't feed him. Or me. It was horrible so incredibly difficult. And my H just complained the whole time that I wasn't doing enough for him.

Second time. I chilled in bed or on the sofa, when I struggled with breastfeeding my DH rang the breastfeeding support people who came and helped me. He fed me, kept me hydrated, did everything for elder DS, he woke up with the baby, passed to me for feeding then burped, changed and settled him. Yeah it was lovely.

So yeah, in my experience. Your post partum life massively depends on how much the person you're having a baby with cares about you.

Mine went by in a bit of a blur. I felt punch drunk.
We’re all different, including babies!
So, I wish you all the best.

I quite agree depends on your partner. With my first child in those days you had to stay in hospital ten days. When I got home my partner was no good as a partner but he was good with babies. He took his turn feeding they were bottle fed, finding me breast pads as I was soaking my clothes, etc.
With the second she was premmie so I had 6 wks with her on Special Care 4 of which I stayed with her in a room but went back home as it was chaotic for the older one. Just coming home it was quite terrifying looking after a premmie but she soon turned out to be very robust and a tom boy

Painful and exhausting. Both times. Got fed up of being in the house but struggled to get out. Did a lot of washing!

How soon is soon? If you’ve got time an antenatal class is very worth it.

if you haven’t, check out the great birth rebellion podcast. She has a whole episode (might be two actually) about what to expect. This is evidenced based and not just personal anecdotes.

Id also research postnatal support groups near you including NCT Baby Cafes or Le Leche league breastfeeding groups (or similar). If you can check them out in person now. It can help you feel confident to go out to them in the early days.

If you need support, ask for support. Particularly with feeding. Those early days are hard if you don’t know what to expect.

It was blurry and exciting and exhausting and filled with massive highs and lows (thanks hormones). If you can, getting out of the house is helpful. I had a ELCS but still made myself go for a gentle walk round the block most days. Stock up on chocolates/treats for when you’re awake in the night. I wish I’d taken more videos of DS in those first few days.

First comment made me cry. Your experience will entirely depend on your partner and to some degree family support. My partner had forgot to fill the oil tank, in December, so I came home to a freezing house in a snowy winter. I was expected to look after baby, clean the house, make the food and ensure that I looked presentable at all times. Ex played a lot of sport and said things like why aren’t you able to do this or this, x’s wife didn’t act like this. I ended up with severe pp depression. I hope you have a supportive and loving partner.

Honestly you will be totally disoriented and that's normal! I'd just say do whatever you need up get through it, whether that be trying to establish at least an evening routine, or giving up on having any routine at all, or whatever within the bounds of safety.

Don't expect to leave the house with the baby for that week, but maybe you'll manage it, who knows! Best of luck and congratulations

A bit scary, you have this tiny person to look after and have no experience and no user manual. But it will be fine.

I think it depends on the Temperament of the baby. After mine were fed and changed they went back to sleep in the moses basket until the next feed so I had time to myself. Some are velcro babies that can't be put down at all.

Just to say ‘velcro’ babies are the biological norm. Newborns have no idea that they have been born and are no longer part of mum. They are also entirely dependant on adult caregivers to protect them and keep them safe. They are programmed to want to be near their adults (mostly mum as their instinct is mum = food, they have no idea how they are being fed or that other adults can feed them)

Don’t be surprised if your baby wants to be on you all the time.

My first week (few weeks actually) wasn't spent at home. After a text book pregnancy I had an unplanned c-section due to slow progress. That was fine. I was in hospital recovering as normal when they discovered my baby was actually very unwell, totally out of the blue. This resulted in a 3 week stay in NICU.

I say this more to just say you really can't plan that much for these thing. I left the house for an induction on Saturday morning thinking I might be home for Sunday dinner. I didn't return for weeks.

Take all the sensible advice about making sure you have meals pre-prepped, etc but other than that you can only take it as it comes to you at the time. There are soooo many variables and nobodies experiences are the same.

Utterly and completely exhausting with your 1st. I think you're on such a high for the 1st 48 hours then your hormones start to crash and the tiredness kicks in.... and you can't sleep to recover. And the house gets inundated with visitors when all you want to do is rest. I didn't enjoy that at all with our 1st but thankfully when our 3rd was born, we were living in a flat and had a locked passageway leading to the door so we disconnected the doorbell! I enjoyed that baby a lot more as I came home, got into bed and stopped there for 4 days just bonding and establishing feeding.

I would have a very serious discussion with your partner about how you're going to share the first couple of weeks in terms of managing the house/visitors and bonding time.

Honestly? A weird combination of very boring and very tiring.

My babies didn't sleep well - both up every 1-2 hours so I was very tired.

Both times breastfeeding was very straightforward - I sometimes think in another life, I must have been a wet nurse as zero pain ever, plentiful supply, never had any mastitis or anything like that. Took a few days to figure out latching but then it was all easy and fine.

Neither of mine liked being put down but they did like the sling. So I spent a lot of time reading books with them slung up on me. I read almost 200 novels during easy mat leave

DH took care of nappies, feeding me, and would take them off for walks in the sling.

I didn't find it stressful at all really, they don't do a lot at that age.

I had vaginal deliveries and had some stitches - those were sore and I couldn't walk far for the first few days.

I don't say this to be smug, I found both of them as toddlers very very hard work! Just this stage was quite easy for me.

Pretty easy. They sleep more than they're awake and barely need anything other than feeding and changing.

I stared at her through an incubator, whilst recovering from a crash c-section. Anything other than that would have been a bonus!

Thanks all. I'm fully expecting my baby to be a velcro baby, it's just my cousins have both had babies who didn't seem to mind being laid down at all. In fact mum hardly held the babies except to feed!

We won't have any visitors except DP's parents and then he's been very clear that only if I'm up for visitors. Tbh I would rather go round to theirs if I'm feeling up to it, but I might not be!

I had a section so had an couple extra nights in the hospital. But when home the first couple days we had loads of visitors and baby slept a lot! It was August during a heatwave and we went out to a restaurant by the river a couple days later so got over breastfeeding in public right away. Really it was fine. My DH was on paternity leave for those first two weeks and we just took it easy, had visitors as I say and took the baby for walks. I joined the post natal group when he was three weeks old.
We started the bedtime routine from the get go. Up to his room (he did not sleep with us) for bath, little story and a feed then down to sleep. Then a sleepy feed when I went to bed about 11 then whenever he woke up after that. I can’t remember what it was like first couple weeks but he did settle into a routine quickly and I only recall maybe three nights when he was fussy and I couldn’t get him down easily. I mean three nights in the first three months! He was an early riser though - if we made it to 6am it was a good day! During the day just had him where I was, put a travel cot in the livingroom for daytime naps, though he often had those when we went for a walk. I tell you babies are pretty boring though! I remember looking at the clock longing for the day to end! Going from full time working to full time mothering was hard. I went back to work when he was five months old.
My first baby was not fussy and slept well. My second did not. She was a nightmare to get down first three months and had reflux. But at three months it was like a switch went off and she discovered her thumb, the reflux went and she became much easier. But two is not twice the work it’s quadruple.
Top tips: routine routine routine. Try and get baby down while still awake but drowsy. Never let them cry but don’t automatically pick up; try and soothe them gently in their cot.
Talk to them a lot - just narrate what you are doing if you can’t think of anything.
Get out and about! I couldn’t drive for six weeks and walking was my saviour. After the first visit my HV quit (nothing to do with me) so I got into a weekly routine of walking the mile to the baby clinic, then a mile to a coffee shop, then a mile back home. And daily shorter walks.
Don’t expect help. Great if offered but don’t count on it. (I mean from grandparents not your DH)!
Get your partner to do stuff with baby - they are just as capable to look after the baby as you are. They can bathe, entertain, take for walks and change nappies - these are not innate skills they have to be learned by both parents.
You will obsess about every little ‘stage’ and as soon as one milestone has passed you will obsess over the next. Chill.
DO NOT COMPARE your baby’s progress to anyone else’s! So what if Jimmy can hold his head up at one week. So what if Susie is walking at ten months. So what if Anna has her first tooth at three months. My son didn’t get his first tooth til 13 months and didn’t walk independently until 18 months. He’s a qualified PT and fitness instructor and has a great set of chompers now at 22!
Most of all try and relax. Do not fret. Do not worry. Your baby will grow and thrive with your love and support.
Now come back when your kid hits preadolescence because that’s really when the fun really begins!

It totally depends on your baby. Mine slept through from day 1, so my first week at home with a newborn was relaxing and getting over an emergency c-section. I didn’t have family or help locally and I didn’t need it. I was emotional as my hormones were all over the place but I just woke baby every 4 hours to feed and that was it. It was great!

I was sore and uncomfortable the first few days, I had a c section so i couldn’t pick up baby, I was moving at snail pace which isn’t a bad thing if you’re at home.
We spent the first few days in bed them made the effort to get up, shower and go downstairs.
You will fall asleep at whatever time of the day if you’re tired and the baby is asleep so take those naps.
The night feeds are also a killer when you’re tired from the daytime so tag team with your partner.
My DH was brilliant, when I had the baby he did the household chores, bottle sterilising, food shop as well as looked after me and the baby.
When DH had the baby I tried to do something productive like washing the baby’s clothes or washing up.
I also made sure that DH fed baby and put baby to sleep as much as what I did so they can build that bond and honestly best thing we did because DH is a pro at night times now baby is nearly 6 months.
The first few weeks you will have lots of midwife and health visitors appointment so put those things in your diary on your phone so you don’t forget, its non stop!
We had visitors coming after about 5 days, I really loved it because it gave me someone else to talk to, I didn’t have to wait on them as I told them to help themselves to whatever they want, tea and coffee and they made me a cup which was nice and they held the baby which was nice for me and DH to have a free hands.

It depends. First, I had a C-section under GA, totally knocked me. Very clingy high needs baby, trouble getting bfing going, recovery tough. But I had a great partner and lots of support so I could focus on me and the baby. Second, vbac, recovery like a dream, slept outside my arms, took to bfing like a pro.
So my advice is to be ready to go with the flow and parent the baby you have, not the one you read about in a book. Rest and recover and ask for help. Have a good spill proof water and hot drinks bottle. Have a comfy armchair/couch with a footstool and somewhere that all your bits and pieces are in arms reach. Don't over do it, don't compare to others.

I got better sleep with a new baby than heavily pregnant tbh. I found pregnancy so uncomfortable that I slept badly, so merely breastfeeding a few times a night felt wonderful in comparison!

Assuming your DP is a decent human, his contribution for the first week will be nappies, burping the baby, and generally looking after you, making coffee etc. You sit, recover, and feed the baby.

I'd say don't commit to visitors but don't tell them all definitely no either. I actually couldn't wait for people to meet my babies and I looked forward to seeing whoever was coming that day. In the first week only invite people who you are happy to ask to make the coffee and who won't outstay their welcome.

Also, you might actually be a bit bored! Between feeds and visitors there is basically nothing to do, and the baby sleeps a LOT. Walks etc are fine in theory, but depending on how the birth goes, you might not be up for going out or even standing up much! So I'd recommend having stuff lined up to do sitting down. Knitting project/a good book? Just something that isn't an entire week of netflix and doomscrolling. We did home improvements! Mostly DH did them and I sat on a comfy chair and watched supportively 😂

It was absolute chaos for me. My DH was supportive, so we got through it together. I was fully breastfeeding and the first week was a blur of feeding, nappy changing, lack of sleep and blind panic. Nothing prepares you for the massive feelings of sudden responsibility you feel for this tiny scrap. They don’t come with any instructions and you just make it up as you go along. It turns out that despite being utterly clueless babies do survive.

The most important things that I learned were, babies cry, a lot, you can’t always stop them crying, and sometimes it’s fine to put them down safely in their crib and take five minutes to have a wee and a cup of tea.

I subsequently had two more babies and they didn’t get the intense attention the first one had. You just can’t split yourself into three so sometimes a child had to wait their turn. It turns out that waiting a bit doesn’t do them any harm. In fact, my youngest was the happiest, contented child of my three.

I was on my own, baby was in NICU for two days and I had sepsis, then we went home (still on my own) and had to get up two flights of stairs with the buggy and/or the dog every time we went out!

I was very tired, in quite a lot of pain after an emergency section, but luckily my daughter was an actual dream baby and only ever cried if she was hungry, slept 7-5 every night. I don't think I would have coped if she hadn't been so easy.

I don't think I actually felt like she was mine until she was about a month old. I did everything she needed, cuddled her etc, I was very fond of her and I would have done anything to keep her safe- but she didn't feel real until then. (I love her immensely now of course!)

This was also my experience. It was a lovely time and if I could go back and do it all again I would x