What was your first week with newborn really like?

[Boxiboxi21]

In the final stretch with baby due soon, and am wondering how best to prepare!

I don't know anyone personally who has been really honest / upfront about what it's really like in the first week. My cousins I feel put on a brave face about it and my older relatives don't seem to recall what it was like.

What has been your experience and any top tips for me? What items did you find most useful etc.? Were you mostly on the sofa in those first few days feeding and cuddling?

For context I have a very supportive partner but extended family live 30 mins' drive away and I haven't been to any antenatal / baby classes yet, so don't have many friends locally who will visit.

You will cry, a lot. Days 3-5 when your milk comes in your hormones go crazy and you’ll just cry at everything. Don’t be worried by that.
whilst it’s very important to keep an eye on potential ppd/ppa, the first week is emotionally
tough on everyone.
Put your oxygen mask on first. This first week will set the pattern going forward so make
sure you have your ground rules in place. If you’re a shower every day kind of person, make sure your partner takes the baby for 15mins every day for you to shower. Don’t let him interrupt because baby is crying or he needs to ask a question. You aren’t the bible, you know as much as him and baby can wait 15mins (if breastfeeding) for a feed and he can get good at comforting them. If bottle feeding he can learn to make a bottle whilst holding them/put them down as you will have to learn when he goes back to work.

My big advice to everyone is in the final weeks
practice fitting the car seat in and out the car, using the pram and folding it/unfolding it etc, putting your carrier on.
Nothing is worse than struggling to get your pram up whilst baby is screaming and it’s raining.

Exhausting honestly. I was sore and exhausted from the birth and looking back a bit traumatised so found sleeping difficult for the first week which didn’t help. Quite anxious too.
However completely in love with my baby and luckily breastfeeding went well but I wish someone had told me sore nipples are normal for the first week or two!
Tips would be put yourself and your baby first. Get meals in the freezer before giving birth. Leave all housework etc to your partner. Stay in bed if that’s what you feel like. You only need to concentrate on feeding and getting over the birth. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Feeding every couple of hours is normal and that means at night too.
Only have visitors you’re comfortable with, your DH needs to police this if people are staying too long and expecting to be waited on.

I was stuck in the hospital for a week, it was horrendous 😞

Mine was a struggle due to difficulties breastfeeding so my daughter was crying A LOT from hunger and I couldn’t feed her which was heartbreaking. And my hormones were making me a bit anxious/paranoid that I’d hurt her somehow. I found weeks 2-4 when my husband was still off much better.

I think it just depends on your partner, your baby and your birth experience.

I had a lot of feeding problems and it just passed in this endless cycle of screaming baby, pumping, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, baby throwing up. Lots of anxiety about if they were getting enough to eat. The first 5-6 weeks were honestly just a blur of getting fed up being inside, going outside and being woefully underprepared so spending a fortune or having to come home (think taking baby out in freezing weather without a hat and having to buy a very expensive one), being covered in milk and vomit and living in these 3 hour cycles before everything repeated again. I know we went out (aside from hospital) in that first week only because we have pictures. I can’t remember actually going out. My mum came to visit for a few days and I can picture her on the couch with a tiny baby but I can’t remember a single thing about what we spoke about, where we went. I can’t even remember how long she stayed for.

My first baby was hell. I wore the same clothes for about 2 weeks, was constantly covered in milk and crying all the time. I almost cut all my hair off because it irritated me so much that I had to deal with it and I honestly felt completely alien in my body. I just ate what I could grab, which was mostly biscuits and crisps so my body was puffy and inflamed all the time. I felt like I was at war, honestly. The house was a complete tip and I don’t think I cleaned properly for about 6 months. Was sleeping about 2 hours (broken) sleep a day.

Second baby could not be more different. She slept and hardly cried. I got a full 8-10 hours every night by going to bed early and she woke 2-3 times but only for max 15 mins so it was easy. I showered every day, got all my
laundry done, played with the toddler, got to
do my hair and make up every day with the baby happily cooing in a basket next to me (my first could never, she had a habit of either screaming when not held or vomiting all over her own face) Had lots of time for cooking and meal prep because the baby just slept and the toddler loved helping. Honestly, it was dreamy. It terrifies me that I almost didn’t have my second because of the first experience.

So realistically, there’s no way to know. It could be hell, it could be dreamy or it could be some comfortable medium. Depends entirely on the baby and your circumstances.

First week with dd1 I did nothing but feed her constantly and let her sleep on me. DH and my parents were around to help with meals washing etc but we didn't have tons of visitors straight away. My main advice would be lower your expectations and don't necessarily expect to be able to do anything. Practising putting up and down pram, and putting car seat in and out of car before baby arrives ir a good shout.
And as others have said remember it won't harm your baby to leave them crying for a few minutes when necessary.
I actually spent most of the first three months sitting on the sofa watching all of ER while feeding or holding DD asleep.

Enjoy being able to do that because if you have more kids it'll never be so calm again!

It doesn't always 'entirely depend' on your partner - given there are those of us, like me, who didn't have one.

My mum stayed with us for the first couple of nights at home and that was super helpful as she provided moral support and shopped and cooked for me.

Baby was relatively easy, he didn't cry much, he slept 85% of the time, he latched on fine from day 2 and breastfed every 45 mins or so around the clock.

I was blessed with a straightforward birth and no tears, but I do remember my foof feeling very sore, and those first few post partum poos were pure anguish.

Exhausting and painful but beautiful. I was fortunate that when I had both of mine I did get an instant ‘in love’ feeling, I know that doesn’t happen for everyone though. So that’s the main thing that I felt that first week (and beyond!). The extreme tiredness hit hard by day two - a tiredness I’d never experienced before and that felt quite scary and overwhelming. I also had a hormonal surge / drop? Around days 3 to 4 where I’d burst into tears at the drop of a hat, despite not feeling like there was a reason for it. I also had extremely sore nipples - I was breastfeeding and it hurt a lot to begin with as both me and my baby learned how to do it (very normal! It’s a new skill that needs to be learnt). Also just utter disbelief - holding my baby and just thinking ‘my god! I’ve got a real life baby and they just let me bring it home?! 🤯’ Lol! So shock and awe basically! 😂

Oh I wanted to add, don't freak out if you don't 'fall in love' with your baby right away. This is just hormones anyway, and only happens to about 2/3 of women. The rest of us fall in love slowly over the weeks, as you would when meeting any new person. It's helpful to know that this is normal too.

A massive blur! Cannot stress enough that it depends on how involved/hands on your husband or partner is though. With my now one year old we also had a 19 month old toddler that we still had to entertain so that felt particularly tough. With my first though, I’d had a complex delivery and was in a lot of pain so my partner did pretty much everything. Made me tea every morning, made sure my water bottle was filled up, sterilised all the bottles and pumping equipment, and set alarms in his phone for EVERYTHING! He had an alarm for feeds, nappies, when my paracetamol and ibuprofen was due… he was a gem and I just relaxed and made sure I could shower daily! Sleep wise it was very disjointed and I struggled with it a lot (again despite my partner alternating nights with me), but the lack of sleep hit me like a ton of bricks. The laundry built up, we had a lot of takeaways and quick cook stuff and the house wasn’t in the most tidy state 😅 which all bothered me at the time and I wish I’d have been able to tell myself that in a month or two I’d be in the swing of things and everything would feel a lot easier. I would just keep your expectations low initially and just concentrate on and enjoy that initial period with your new baby.

First time around was a hit of a panic ridden blur. You feel vulnerable when you first get home from hospital (if you've had a hospital birth) and very exposed, especially if you've been using your hospital buzzer as much as everyone recommends!

You feel protective of this thing but it doesn't feel like yours and it doesn't look like you either. It's crying really cuts through your core. You feel an exhaustion you've never felt before and you doubt everything.

You will work out quite quickly that the sofa and/or the bed is your friend. There is a lot of cuddling and handwashing. Accept help.

I was ok, went from bed to the sofa.
Baby in arms or in pram when content.

Using the loo was very sore, hadn’t any stitches but a graze and small tear.
Hospital had bidet which was a god send, at home I used a sports bottle of warm water to pour as I peed.

I was so tired and uncomfortable when I was pregnant,I actually felt better once he was born.

Best wishes.

This is really really good advice, with my first I felt like that and burst into tears the moment I held him, but my second was more like “ah that’s nice” 😂 I don’t know, maybe because I’d already experienced it it didn’t feel as special or maybe I just didn’t get “the feeling” straightaway for whatever reason. Needless to say though they’re both equally amazing to me and I can’t imagine one without the other, I absolutely adore my fearless little girl and I don’t love her the slightest bit less

Get a sling. Hold your baby close all the time, feed your baby for much longer and more regularly than you think you need to. Just feed them all the time, basically. Don’t even bother with the sofa, just go to bed and read up on safe co-sleeping.

This is a good website for breastfeeding advice: https://kellymom.com

It’s almost 14 years since DS1 arrived, and 10 since DS2. It goes by so quickly.

Your two children sound exactly like mine but the other way round, I was definitely lulled into a false sense of security with my first!

I was exhausted, sore (CS) and tearful. Sitting cuddling a baby is boring and she smelt weird. Once she got to 4 months and slept through the night and was smiley and cuddly and that scuzzy baby smell had gone, she was a delight, but before that she was just an unreasonable little dictator.

It was the hardest week and biggest shock of my life, utterly terrifying.
However I was 37 and had never ever held a baby before. Had no clue what to do, it was pre-internet so couldn't Google. I think I had bought a "how to" baby book which I treated like an instruction manual, only it didn't seem to work.
Slings didn't work. Rocking didn't work.
I was afraid of dropping the baby or doing something wrong.
I think my mum came for a bit, DH mopped up a lot of tears(mine). The baby was probably fine it was just me. Breast feeding was instantly easy but the baby was sick all the time, drowning in sick. I had to change all the babies clothes and bedding multiple times day and night because they were soaked.
Then I had a post party haemorrhage.
It didn't really get much easier until about 9 months. And believe it or not I had a second baby.

Post party m. It was no party 🤣

Bad c sections for me so 5 days in hospital with first and 10 days with second.

Then in was several weeks of pain plus breast feeding and hormones.

partner and family were great and supportive- but it was tough

It depends on your baby, your partner, and how birth and recovery impacts you.

Be prepared to adapt and don’t get too attached to any particular way of doing things. Lean how to cosleep safely.

I don’t remember alot as it was 7 years ago now - it’s a blur in terms of how many weeks etc, but I do remember feeling very tired, emotional and vulnerable and not being able to move much after a C-Section and having mastitis.
My DH stayed up all night with baby the first night (and did the cooking, housework etc in the early days) so I could sleep & my family, in-laws and friends visited and helped. My family are a couple of hours away and I took baby and went to stay with them as soon as the 6 weeks post C-Section was up - I just wanted my mum!
But you will find your rhythm with your new baby in your own time, and I hope you have a supportive partner.
All the best.

Was exhausted as had a long induction and an emergency c section. Baby in special care and me hooked up to a drip. Spent a lot of time crying and sweating (both of which are normal as your hormones are all over the place)

I had an emergency section and my beautiful baby taken straight to NICU. I didn’t even see her for two days as I was too ill and staff “too busy” to take me. My husband eventually found a wheelchair and took me. As soon as I saw her I was overwhelmed with love.
When we got home I felt numb, so tired, husband had no parental leave and I struggled for the first few weeks to feed my baby and myself, let alone do anything else. I think I was in pyjamas for about 2 weeks solid as I didn’t have the time or energy to shower or dress myself. We had no routine at all. I had no support with breastfeeding despite contacting NCT, MW and HV. I produced very little milk and felt I’d failed my daughter.
Everything started to settle by about 5-6 weeks - after one early morning feed I snuggled up with her and we both slept for several hours. It was blissful, and became a lovely part of our routine.
What I’m trying to say is it’s different for everyone. I hope you have lots of support, take help when it’s offered and try to enjoy every moment but it may take a few weeks before things become easier.

Not great. I was sore and exhausted. We had no family ‘help’. The whole early days of babyhood were not for me. I went back to work at four and five months pt each time and felt so much better for a regular break. They’re 23 and 21 now and I still look back and don’t remember those times as at all pleasurable.