How do others manage housework with a clingy five month old?

[proteinballs]

I guess this is a bit of a rant, but always keen for advice or others hearing from others who may be in the same boat.

My OH asked me this evening why I have no time for anything productive (other than catching up on housework) and why I struggle to keep on top of the housework in general. It wasn't an argument or anything, just a question.

We have a beautiful gorgeous 5mo boy, who is very time consuming. He doesn't like lying down, currently teething, and if 40% of the day is made up of naps, the rest of the day he requires being held constantly. He is a very cuddly baby, needs lots of physical stimulation. My OH works all day, and when he's home he is doing building work on the house - he is constantly busy and I don't expect him to do any more as he is stretched as he is.

We always start the day at 6am. During the day, I will prioritise his waking windows with playing and activities. When he's sleeping, I will do as many chores as possible. We usually have 4 x 40 min naps a day, I'm lucky if it goes beyond that in time or frequency.

I keep on top of dishes, clean/fold clothes, try and keep a tidy house in general. I'm slack at hoovering, but almost can't be arsed when a lot of the building work ends up inside the house (e.g., concrete, insulation bits, screws and shit that shouldn't be coming in to the house in general). I always cook dinner, have to entertain the baby while cooking which is difficult when he wants to be held, clean up afterwards, get him ready for bed by 7/8pm. By the time he's asleep I have all of an hour "me time" before I go to bed, which consists of more tidying. The little man still wakes through the night, sometimes worse because of teething. I'm tired, and chronically sleep deprived. Furthermore, the little man is EBF snacker, so I feed him on demand and that means every 2-3 hours, if more sometimes.

I explain to my OH I don't have a lot of free time to myself, which I am currently struggling with. My mental health is good, but I do need some time off. The OH thinks most people can cope with the baby:housework balance, I don't think that's the case. I'm not pissed or angry at the OH for asking this or pointing anything out, I just want him to understand that I am doing the best to make sure our lil guy is the happiest lil man possible, housework and general life takes a backseat for him.

Anyone got tips on how to be a domestic goddess and entertain a velcro baby?

Do I just need to bin my OH for being oblivious to how tiring having a clingy baby can be?

Just try to get some help around from the house or in the free time you could try completing your chores.

Back in the old days we had these wonderful things called playpens. Clingy babies were put safely in them, screaming or otherwise, while exhausted mums regained the use of all 4 limbs and had a cuppa.

Firstly looking after a baby is pretty much a full time job

secondly - sling ?
involve baby as much as possible with chatter as you work

Yes but younger mothers have been made to think this is cruel and will damage little Primelope for life.

Is that not true though? Because you are right- current advice is that it’s bad parenting to not respond to a crying baby, unless there’s an emergency of course. Something about how lots of cortisol spikes can affect their temperament and ability to calm down (i think).

It's about a middle ground, though. Your baby will be fine for a few mins if you have to finish something or if you're tired and just want to eat your sandwich. People have taken this to mean they can't allow their baby to ever cry because it will damage them. Now we have mothers' damaged by motherhood

Hahaha yeah, I don't have free time I'm afraid 😂

Yeah love this answer 😂 why hadn't you thought of that, OP?

I will say though I never tried a bouncer when my DS was in his velcro baby stage and I would next time around. But I also had a supportive DH who was very happy doing the cleaning