Biting at school

[Stanley90]

Looking for some advise my son is in reception started in September he was really badly bitten in March (drew blood) on his chest and a week after the same child bit his finger. Spoke to the head teacher at the time and they said they would keep an eye on it and then nothing happened further. Until today I got a phone call from his teacher to say he’s been bitten on the finger by the same child.
What do I do??
Would you move schools?
I have sent an email to the head asking for a meeting and about what is being put in place for year one but I’m livid that it’s happened for a third time.

@Stanley90 remember don’t mention the other child, it’s the not keeping your child safe and protected by violence, they are failing your dc.
we’re in Scotland so I just brought the legislation of “girfec” which is “getting it right for every child”. We were really clear on the fact that it says EVERY child, so that meant they had a duty to our child too and keep him safe at school.

@ALovelyPinkUnicorn thank you for this.
I think I might keep him off today.

I would definitely ask what is in place for year one. They can't guarantee supervision targeted at the biter on the playground - at my school lunchtime supervisors would get a message asking for X and Y to be kept apart where possible because of Z but there are 180 children out there at times so we can't see everything all the time. If the child bites again in year one (the change in routines etc might mean it doesn't happen again), we would obviously do the immediate consequences of time out and an apology. Then perhaps get a TA to do interventions with him aimed at managing emotions and behaviour that leads to biting. We might try to break the habit of lashing out by sending him to 'lunch club' for a few days where he can play games inside or ask a TA to take him and a few others outside during free play (still happens for a few weeks in year 1) to burn off energy in a calmer environment with fewer children.

Put it in writing to the school for a paper trail, make sure you mention it’s not an easy decision however it has become necessary because he is not currently safe at school as has been repeatedly bitten by another pupil. Remind them the school has a duty of care to ensure his physical safety while in their charge and at present the measures in place are not preventing him from being harmed.

Where is the other parent in all this? I’d be horrified if my child was the biter - have the school been in talks with them?

I have decided to keep him off and yes @ALovelyPinkUnicorn I have sent an emailing telling them he will be off.
@smarterthantheaversgebear the teacher said they had spoken to the other child’s parents. She sent me text message after the first time to apologise but now she actively avoids me at the school gates.

I’ve spoke to the head this morning.
she wasn’t aware of them being kept apart and agrees it’s not a good idea given how the small class is and also it doesn’t teach them anything.
From the sounds of it she doesn’t really have any idea of what’s happening in terms of are they just disagreeing on something (boundaries,toys, not wanting to play etc) or is it there a bigger issue. The teacher doesn’t know how my child end up getting bitten, she said she didn’t see so can’t say for definite. They just saw my child’s hand in this other boys mouth but because he wasn’t crying didn’t think it was anything too majorly concerning l. She said he didn’t cry and I said he told me he was being brave.
She said she will get the teachers in Y1 to do like like an analysis on each of them (she gave it a word can’t remember) basically to see how they both conduct themselves, how they play, reactions etc to see wether either of them need extra help with specific areas. She also said the child biting definitely needs work on that issue.

”being brave”. Does that sound like something he’d come
up with or “we must all be kind and brave when Jimothy hurts us so we don’t hurt his feelings”?

Ok, well thats a disappointing response from the school. I'm confused why they said that they didnt think much of it as he didnt cry but still felt they needed to call you about the incident? That doesn't make sense - sounds like they're trying to play it down but know it was bad.

I think I've been naive in thinking that they would be dealing with this appropriately therefore what more could they do, but sounds like there is potentially a lot more they can do.

Why is your son now being assessed too?

How do you feel about what was said

@Ifitsgoodenoughforyou basically they have told me because of what happened the first time. It was bad I had to collect my child from school he was inconsolable. Also concerning that she said I probably wouldn’t have been told about it usually I’ve only been told because of how severe the first incident was and they basically want to cover themselves. She said oh the teacher would have usually dealt with that kind of incident between the pupils. 🤨
I’mnot sure how I feel about it tbf. I’m wondering if they are trying to pin point blame in some way? Like maybe my child is wanting to play and this boy doesn’t want to or something. Whatever the case may be but it seems a little unbalanced. Long and short is the boy is biting doesn’t matter what the senario is he shouldn’t bite. Maybe that’s the wrong way of thinking I don’t know.

It’s the usual bullshit op, they want to make out “equal blame” or a misunderstanding…. Or will try and shift blame to your son. Which generally means the other child is a repeat offender with multiple kids and/or their parent is a vocal complainer they want to appease.

Sorry but if a child has bitten your child more than once, the school need to stop being lazy and properly monitor the child.

I think it's a reasonable response from the school at this stage. There are only a few days left in Reception, year 1 is a new environment, both of them might behave differently and they will have a different routine so planning a way to work this out based on how they are now is unlikely to be effective in September. The year 1 teacher and TA will know to (and have said they will) observe the 2 of them. Seeing how your DS behaves isn't about blaming him for being bitten. It is about seeing how the biter responds to certain behaviours in others. For example if the biter bites DS when DS gets too close to him they know to work on managing responses to that better with the biter. However it may also highlight that your DS needs to work on respecting personal space - he might act the same way with other children who just shrug it off as a bit annoying rather than biting but knowing he has to work on this behaviour may help him maintain friendships.

Seriously? The child probably has an echp stating a one to one and the school hasn't complied.

The other parent is probably up to her eyeballs in tribunals trying to get the borough to find her a sen space, or this school to comply with the echp. There's literally nothing the school can do other than employ a one to one.which they very often wont and it goes back and forth with the borough like a ping pong ball.

OP ask if the child that bit your son has a one to one and is so why wasn't he being supervised

do you think the school would respond to the op asking that? Of
course they wouldn’t! And she’d then be seen as the problem ..

@BiteSizeByzantine I highly doubt the school are going to tell me if the child has additional needs or a one to one? and they haven’t allured to any of these when I have had conversations. Surely it’s confidential and nothing to do with me.
I don’t really know the child well and I don’t really speak to this child’s mum as are boys don’t see each other out of school.

@ThatsTrash This school had 15 in a year group. YR has 2 TAs! This is not a large under resourced school. Around here it would be super extravagant staffing costs!

The biting child could easily be more closely supervised with a 1:5 ratio. It could be much better than that with a bit of reorganization. The playground can be more of a challenge in y1, but YR usually have their own section - so only 15 dc. The school really should be able to monitor the biting child. The triggers need to be established and that’s what staff should guard against.

Not all biting dc have sen either so Sen funding is possibly irrelevant and he’s have to do way more than bite to get a EHCP and a special school. The school will be funding any current interventions. The school can certainly share with Op what they plan to do in y1 to lessen the risk. Keeping them separate is obvious but, in a class of 30, someone will be adjacent to this dc so the school needs to work out what makes him bite at 5 years old and how best to avoid other dc being hurt. The op cannot be certain assurances will stop the biting though.

To clarify what supervision is like in my experience and why monitoring individuals ' behaviour can be tricky - I have worked in 3 schools and only in one of them were Reception kept separate from everyone else at lunch playtime. Current school 2 form entry, YR - Y2 out at the same time, so up to 180 children with 6 adults. So a ratio of 1:30. I am nominally responsible for my class of 30 but really I'm monitoring the behaviour of the children closest to me whatever their year group (adults spaced out to give as much 'coverage' as possible).

During free play in our Reception outdoor learning area there would be up to 20 children from across both classes at any one time with one TA. The other class' TA will be doing interventions with children struggling with maths / English/ motor skills til we swap over and I do the same in my class. Teachers are also supporting focussed groups of children. Between us we work with our groups and try to keep certain pairs / groups apart but it's not possible to guarantee it, which is why we manage behaviour issues with things like interventions on emotional regulation/ social stories etc. Saying we should just keep them apart doesn't ultimately help because we wouldn't have tackled the issue that caused the problem behaviour. It just means that the one inevitable time the 2 children are together, the biter will bite because he hasn't learned how to change his behaviour.

We actually usually have a third adult in the classroom at the moment. She is a 1:1 but other parents might not all be aware because that child's needs are not obvious to everyone.

I'm not saying school can't be expected to notice the triggers, just that they can't always spot an incident before it happens even with small ratios. Sometimes you are distracted by things other children are doing just at the wrong moment. Sometimes trigger points have to be established by a discussion after the fact - eg asking both children what happened immediately before, asking the 'biter' if they understand what led to it, why it's wrong etc.

I worked for a LA and YR is often separated because it’s a different curriculum and outside space is used differently. Supervising 15 dc, is very different to 60. 15 in a year is only 105 in the whole school! With the generous staffing ratio it should be possible to monitor what triggers biting dc. This school has 2 TAs for 15 dc. It’s not your school is it?

In my area the village schools join together to offer activities, extra curricular and in the school holidays, there seems to be lots of options and I think the clubs are well attended. I agree that the child to adult ratio in op school is like gold dust, it’s the same at my child’s school, has been amazing for us.

@ThatsTrash when he goes in Y1 they join with Y2 for certain parts of the day and the class has 2 teachers (part time) they cross over on a Wednesday and there is 3 teaching assistants. They have ALOT of TA’s each class has at the very least 2. There is schools near me that have 30+ kids and only 1 TA.
I fully appreciate they cannot watch all children at all times of the day but as @MeetMeOnTheCorner has said the amount of children they have between a teacher and two assistants they should be able to pick up certain behaviour or issues arising before biting happens. And if there is issues they need to be communicating that instead of trying to keep them apart, why the teacher thought that was a good idea is beyond me

@Stanley90They need to look for behaviour traits the child exhibits. Can he talk and express frustration or is language poor? What are dc doing when he bites? Is your dc the only target? If so, why? It’s important they get to the bottom of this. Plus if it’s only your dc being bitten, keeping dc separated is a good idea and should be easier with more structure in y1. No one wants to see this in young children and DS should expect to be safe.

How can the school possibly stop it? The biter could have a 1:1, they could even be holding the 1:1’s hand and they could still bite unexpectedly. Unless the biter is permanently isolated from all other children the school can’t stop it.