Which parenting stage have you found the most challenging so far?

[juliano]

What is the hardest parenting phase you've experienced so far?

It’s lovely to hear they turned into such wonderful young adults despite the challenges along the way

You definitely sound like you won the newborn lottery

the constant following them around phase is exhausting

Watching other children be unkind to yours can be incredibly tough as a parent

I'm glad to hear he's doing well now

Yes, the toddler who used to go an hide behind the sofa to poo his pants is nothing compared to the worries of gangs and knives etc, and mine were easy teens.

year 9 is becoming the clear winner of this thread.

that sounds incredibly intense. Looking after three under five is no small task

Newborn to 12 months, definitely. I’m surprised so many say the teen years are the worst

Secondary school my little darlings morphed into nightmares.

Teens (and yes I have little ones too to compare)

I found it really helped my son when he joined a swimming club at age 12. The training and discipline did wonders!!

FFS I was hoping the answers would be 2-6 so I can at least say to myself it all gets easier from here.

Under 6's

Love 6-12. Golden years.

toddler years were horrible. My 13yo is a delight (no, really). Maybe the worst is yet to come though..

Were your teens easier?

Adulthood. Proper adulthood. I love them and want to protect them every bit as much as when they were kids. But I'm not in control any more. I watch them making decisions that I know are going to go wrong, but I can't do anything about it.

I want to give them the benefit of my experience, but none of us like unwanted advice. I have to second guess myself constantly, keep my mouth shut a lot, and balance my involvement in their lives to make sure that they know that I love their company but not come across as needy. That I have my own life, but am available when they need help. That as a grandmother, I'm there when needed and adore my grandkids, but mustn't show that I care by asking to see them more, or expressing concern about anything ("FFS, you need to get her to the doctor's now!"). 😅

It's the thinnest of tightropes, as Mumsnet points out to me every day. Parents of adults are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

PS I have lovely kids with lovely partners, but that's all the more reason for me not to mess things up.

7 to 12 with autistic DS

16-18 with other DS not due to behaviour but significant health issues.

But i found the sleeplessness of the baby stage very hard and physical relentlessness of the early years tough - but also very wholesome and rewarding.

My eldest is lovely but only get to parent the harships. The joy goes to friends.

Young adults 18-25. Of course it’s all dependent on the individual personality but for one of mine particularly the young adult years have been frankly terrifying. It’s such a period of great change, new experiences, leaving school, leaving home, brain changes and all against a backdrop of being declared adult.

If they really begin to struggle it’s hard to help because you have the emotional, practical and often financial responsibility but not the right to interfere. For three of mine this period was challenging but not overwhelming but with one it was so hard to see them drowning, struggling to manage independence and MH challenges when really they weren’t ready to leave home, and to have to stand back. When they are at home and under 18 you at least have a clearer picture and more chance to influence.

For DD, 6 weeks when reflux symptoms got bad to 8 months, when weaning helped enormously. Just screaming and her being in pain was awful, despite near constant doctor appointments and loads of various medications.

For both DD and DS 13 - 15 when they were peak teen, not that either of them were that bad, just typical awkward teens really.

And when they left home for uni, which was me missing them and worrying, not that anything major went wrong…

For DS the times around and after his five ankle joint and hip operations when he was 17 - 21 and trying to help him deal with the fact that he can’t really run seriously ever again, and many sports are difficult if not impossible at the level he wants to play them (and would be capable of if the joint and hip problems hadn’t happened) though it is his favourite thing ever. This is ongoing and hard, though he is now 24.

Can I just add that even though one of my teenagers has been the hardest out of the two of them as a teenager, my other one has been so easy throughout. So, it’s not a given. Many teenagers are absolutely fine.

The first year. But mine had awful reflux (leading to hospitalisation with dc1) and did.not.sleep.

And were dream teenagers and now adults.

14-17 for both … I love them dearly but I’ve aged 20 years

One of my sons had the terrible 2s as he started school for about a year and a half, always trying to run off, loud etc etc etc, then another son age 16 when he was moved into a different year to his friends and didn’t get any of his subject choices and was depressed and upset regularly. We were properly afraid for him and had to regularly take turns hanging around him to make sure nothing happened. So scary

My DD is now 22. Looking back I’d say those months between about 20 months and 3. She was just ridiculous! I’m talking throwing herself to the floor because her sandwich was placed on the plate covering Postman Pat’s face or I wouldn’t let her eat the cat food. Once she hit 3 and she could be reasoned with (to an extent), things improved greatly. The Teen years were a breeze, I was very, very lucky.