Am I unreasonable to limit my 16-year-old son's girlfriend staying over?

[BySillyHiker]

My 16 year old son has been dating a girl for the last 3 months, since he has finished school and now doing exams he had her staying over most nights we are now on the 6th night in a row. Ive said to him nicely you can't have her over every night. Plus he is doing exams and staying up late till 1am. I feel like I have no space in the house. feeding an extra person feels like I have an extra person living in the house, im doing all the pick ups and drop offs. already trying to manage the house with 3 younger children. My partner is at work all day till 7pm and says im being miserable about it.
I think my son is planning on having her over every night as they cant seem to be apart from each other. Im starting to feel stressed buy it all as have no privacy.

Just say no, why would you be letting her stay over at all, doesn't she have a home to go to? What do her parents think?

Baffling why it was allowed to begin with. 16 is far too young for this.

This as git to be some kind of joke

16 and staying over 😂😂😂😂

I wouldn't have either, why are you facilitating all this @BySillyHiker

I'd say 2 nights a week max and not on school nights. I've always been quite permissive regarding sleepovers, my children are very open about sex and contraception and I'd like to keep it that way. But I do have rules and if they start taking the piss, they get told. No one I haven't met yet. No noise late at night. If I can hear them having sex, they get told and warned to be quiet in future.
They're older now and paying 'keep' so they get more leeway and DS1's girlfriend is now 300 miles away so she will stay for a week at a time, but we've known her for several years now. DS2 has to be gently reminded of the expectations sometimes!

I'd be a little concerned that she's always at yours and he's never at hers, maybe her home life isn't great. But you don't want her effectively moving in so you will need to set some boundaries/rules and enforce them.

Well I have looked at all the messages. I dont no what her parents think. She can still walk to our house, I agree that she should not be staying over at all. But my partner is saying well they are happy leave them alone. But today I felt so stressed from it all. Hes gone to hers for 2hrs then said we will be back later, ive told him not every night but he's not listening so im going to have to visit her parents this evening.

You just send her home if she arrives , are you planning on taking your son with you when you talk to her parents, it is your house he doesn't get a say in who you allow in it .

This.

what does her mother say?

Sorry for confusion im his father. Its his mum who thinks its ok but she's rarely at home due to running a business and working long hours.

Nope it would not be happening here

I will find out this evening as I will be popping over and putting a stop to her being at our house every bloody day and night.

3mths and staying over every night ? And exams

this needs to stop

a Fri or Sat only

what do her parents think of this

That’s absolute insanity, his mother said ‘leave them alone they are happy?’ Has she completely checked out?

Don’t her parents mind her staying over every night?

If you’re happy for her to stay over sometimes, why not compromise once a week and if he is allowed once a week at hers in the holidays so essentially 2 nights a week in holidays, And maybe every other Friday night during school times

16 year olds don’t hve sleepovers in my mind, not ever. Occasional sleepovers can happen when they leave for university or equivalent and then no more than 1 night over the weekend

Just to follow up on my previous post - to those who are saying absolutely not no way to ever having a sleepover - fair enough as it’s your house and your rules …. But many 16 year olds who have been together for a while will be having sex or at least planning to or coming close to. Would you not rather it was done safely with conversations re contraception and boundaries in place, communication between parents etc in your home rather than in the park / elsewhere?

You can’t police it so I think this is the most sensible thing and what has happened with my DS.

@Goodnessyoualldashoffdontyoureppies

Sorry, to be clear - it wasn’t aimed at this situation which is clearly too much for the OP too as it would be for most! I was asking those posters who have said under no circumstances would they ever allow a sleepover at 16 even if it was an established relationship.

You are mad , absolutely no way in hell anyone would be staying over the night before an exam . I would say once a week on a Fri or a Sat if you are happy to have her stay .

We don’t allow overnights. It makes the relationship seem more serious than it should be at this age.