How can I tell if my child is ready for a dog?

[MyBusyUser]

My child keeps asking for a dog and I’m torn. I don’t doubt the enthusiasm, I doubt the follow‑through once it becomes daily work. Has anyone found a good way to test whether a child is actually ready before getting a real pet?

A dog should be entirely your responsibility so the question is are you ready for a dog? Your child may be great and put in lots of hard work but there is no guarantee so I would only get one if you are ready to take on all it entails.
Mine lost interest roughly around two weeks in which was fine because the dog was for me.

I think the truthful answer is for you to ask yourself if you are ready to commit to everything that dog ownership entails- walking even when it’s raining, expense of insurance, vets bills, food, boarding while you’re on holiday and at work, training, getting up to let them out for a wee at night, never ending cleaning if they shed a lot of fur

having said all the gloomy stuff I had my dog for 12 and a half years and lost him at the end of March - we miss him terribly

"Ready" surely means something like old enough to follow rules designed to keep themselves safe and avoid hassling/scaring the dog.

If you are using it to mean something different from this - i.e. to mean that the child is trustworthy enough to reliably carry out their share of dog chores every day - then I'm not sure that you are ready for the dog. It is always going to be your responsibility to ensure that all necessary tasks are carried out. I think that all children will backslide. The novelty will wear off and they will start to be sporadic in their interest in routine chores.

And even if they don't, there may well be reasons why your dog's nature doesn't make it possible for a child to manage the routine tasks you have in mind for them. Aggression on walks, food guarding at meals, etc.

The child's involvement in the dog's care is a really nice and important aspect of dog ownership, but it's essentially an add-on that may or may not 'take' in a given household.

23 - DD back from uni, hybrid job, living at home - has done it successfully 😉

Having said that my DS who is 2 years older I wouldn't trust with a goldfish.

It's nothing to do with what your child wants. You are the one in charge caring and paying for it. It's 100% your job.

You need to be ready for a dog, not your child. A child cannot be relied on or expected to carry out dog-related chores reliably. Ours enjoy playing with the dog, occasionally feeding her and giving her treats, family walks, but they aren’t caring for her in any meaningful way. She is mine and DH’s responsibility.

We had her since before they were born so they’ve grown up knowing how to behave around dogs.

This ^
Essentially if you get a dog, you need to accept it will be your responsibilty.
No matter how keen they are, the chances are eventually the enthusiasm will drop to some degree. And remember dogs live for maybe 15 years, your child might be away to uni or whatever.

Before you get an animal for your child you need to want it too

Well, it won’t be the child’s dog so really not their decision. You’ll be the one doing the work and being the leader and if kids are little they’ll probably have limited interaction with a puppy if that’s the route you go.

We have a working dog breed and as a puppy, she was too energetic to have around the dc. She was pretty much kept separate for the first 2 years except when out walking or training. In the house, if kids were there, she was in her crate. Youngest was 2 at the time.

She is the most fantastic calm family dog now. But the first 2 years were a lot of work. Can you parent while fully caring for and adequately training a dog is the question?

21 and left home

I waited until dd was 13yo, she had been asking since she could talk.

Shes 20yo now and has been really good at taking responsibility, she has done at least 50% of the walking and probably 80% of the training (he knows loads of tricks.)

It depends on the child, mine kept her end of the bargain.

She’s 9, so not tiny, but still very much at the age where wanting something passionately and sticking with something daily are not always the same thing.

I do take that point. I think part of why I asked is that she sounds so sincere when she talks about feeding, training and walking, but I still don’t know whether she really understands what “every day, for years” means.
“I also think it’s important to have some basic knowledge about dogs — for example, what foods are absolutely unsafe for them to eat.

This is helpful because that’s exactly what I’m trying to untangle in my head. She’s wanted one for ages and is very convincing about how much she’d do, but I know wanting one and actually living the reality are very different things.

This is really useful. I think I had bundled all of that into one vague idea of “ready”. She’s gentle and absolutely loves dogs, but I’m still not sure how much she really knows about behaving properly around one, never mind helping care for one.I also think it’s important to have some basic knowledge about dogs — for example, what foods are absolutely unsafe for them to eat.

I love this, but I suspect you may have been one of the exceptional children rather than the average one. Mine loves animals deeply, but I still can’t tell whether she loves the idea or would genuinely stick at the work.

This is exactly the kind of practical reality check I needed. I think children imagine cuddles and playing, but not things like leaving the dog alone, reading its mood, dealing with nipping, or understanding that family life has to shift around the dog too.

@MyBusyUser The average 9 year old is not going to care in a meaningful way for a dog. She can't walk it independently. She can't really train it. She can't pay it's bills or take care of it. Best she can do is feed it.

FWIW, my DDs have just had their 'first' dog at 12 and 13 although honestly she's my dog - i'll be the one breeding her one day - but DDs love her and she sleeps with them, so for arguments sake she's 'theirs'.

But I would say they are absolutely not the 'average' children (they go to dog shows with me and have since they were toddlers, for example). Most of the 'hard' training is done by me still because most children are really just are not capable of having the authority to train a puppy (children get too excited and overstimulated etc). I foot all the 'mental' load that comes with pet ownership - making sure she has flea and wormer, making sure she's developing well, that her seasons don't take too much out of her, monitoring her for health issues or illnesses. And it's a lot.

Unlikely children, a dog never grows up. They're perpetual toddlers in terms of the time/energy you spend on them - just when they get older, it's like caring for an elderly relative.

But, if you do decide to go ahead, please consider the breed carefully - don't be taken in by designer mongrels and backyard breeders. Go for a healthy, stable, pedigree from a breeder who can match you to an appropriate dog and give you the aftercare/support you need. A poodle or a labrador would be a good choice as they're typically very stable in terms of temperament.

This is really helpful, thank you. I think this is exactly what I’m struggling with — she’s 9, so old enough to sound very sincere about feeding, walking and training, but not old enough for me to kid myself that any of the real responsibility would sit with her. And I think the knowledge side is a big part of it too — she talks confidently about training, but I’m not sure yet how much she actually understands about day-to-day care beyond the fun parts.
I’d also like to give her some basic knowledge about dog care before we actually get a dog — things like daily routines and essential health rules. I want her to understand what’s safe and what’s dangerous, so that when I’m at work she doesn’t accidentally give the dog chocolate or something harmful

@MyBusyUser I guess it depends on how savvy you think your DD is?

Mine knew very young what they could/couldn't do with a dog, and what to feed/not feed. But I was very honest about what would happen if they did something stupid.

As others have said, you could also try a breed specific rescue? Your DD is a bit older so most rescues would allow a re-home with her. That would give her the chance to 'have' a dog without going through the more challenging training time of a puppy? Breed specific is always a good bet as they know the breed inside-out and will be able to ensure an appropriate match and provide advice on any breed specific behavioural issues.

Do you have any friends or relatives with dogs? If so you could get her to spend time with their dogs, walking it, grooming it, 'training' it etc? That is also a good option.

We got a dog when the youngest was 5, I wasn’t comfortable with it before then.

they aren’t responsible for any of its care. but they need to be aware of how to behave around it.

At 9, you could potentially be stuck with the dog don't forget, she won't be able to take it to university with her and unlikely if she moves into a shared house or in with a boyfriend etc. She'll be wanting to go out with friends long before the dog is gone, will she be leaving you with the dog, are you okay with that? Dogs can live 15 years or more. What happens when she's wanting to go out or away with friends? Ultimately your responsiblity. She's more than old enough to walk it and train it if she has the enthusiasm, but kids change a lot after the age of 9 within a dog's lifetime.

Our DD begged us for a dog throughout her childhood, saying she'd do walks, training, everything. Due to other circumstances – money, WFH – she was almost 15 when we finally did get one… and now we have to nag her to take the dog out, feed her etc. DD worships her, but the practical stuff? Not so much. Instead, the dog is very much mine! Thankfully, despite not being a dog person beforehand, I am totally besotted and happy to take the reins. So yes, nine is a good age, but only if you're prepared to assume total responsibility for it.

Is your dd your only dc? I was and my first ddog(I was 18 months) was my absolute world... We grew up together and she died when we were both 20....

It's not about her.

This dog would 100% be your responsibility. Feeding walking training is on you. Don't forget Vet appointments, insurance etc. And who is looking after the dog while you are at work?

She will be positive now, promising they will do everything. In reality she won't do much. You need to be the one who wants a dog. Not your child

Take your child out of the equation. Do you want a dog? Able to walk it 1-2 times a day? Feed it? Have time to supervise it? It’s like bringing a toddler into the house, and the dog doesn’t fit around you, you fit around the dog.

…and puppy biting is horrible.

…plus they’re not cheap to run - insurance, worming tablets, food, training classes, toys, treats, equipment, raincoats, etc