Is it acceptable to say I genuinely enjoy parenting?

[Boymama87]

I feel like at the moment, my social media is full of people telling me how it’s ok not to enjoy parenting and that we’ve all been told for too long that we should love and enjoy it but no one does. But what about if I do enjoy it? I feel like I’m not allowed to express that because otherwise I’m making people feel bad who are finding it hard/not enjoying it. Me enjoying it, isn’t to say I don’t sometimes find it hard, I obviously do. I have a 5yo, 4yo and 6m old and no village other than my husband who works full time, but whilst there are hard moments and I feel overstretched at times, my over riding feeling is that of contentment, happiness and just fully embracing living in the chaos. Anyone else feel this way? I just feel things have swung in a direction of where you’re considered a bit weird or that you’re lying if you say you actually enjoy having half term with all your kids at home etc

Maybe social media is just making everyone pay too much attention to what everyone else thinks/ says.

You could just be fed more of the same due to who you follow.

my social media is full of people telling me how it’s ok not to enjoy parenting and that we’ve all been told for too long that we should love and enjoy it but no one does this is an example of why you should just step away from SM.

Nobody (or hardly anyone) wants to hear about how much you love motherhood anyway, whether they have kids or don’t, love it or hate it or like most people, in between.
It’s kind of the same as nobody really wants to hear about how great your marriage is, how much you love your partner, how great he is. Or hear about your dreams, see loads of your holiday photos, listen to you badmouth someone they don’t know and have never met and so on.
These are things that are important and interesting to you, but not to other people.
People like to have a moan and a vent. Doesn’t mean they are not good parents or that they don’t love their kids just as much as you do or even that they don’t actually enjoy them (just maybe not all the time.)
Just focus on what you are doing and don’t pay so much attention to other people.
People have all sorts of things going on aside from being widowed that affect how much stress they are under and how much they are able to enjoy their kids and their lives generally. I love my kid, love being with her but I suffer from depression and she is hyperactive and I get extremely brain tired sometimes and it is a massive relief to get back to school after half term because being in the school routine works better for all of us. Also my dad just had a stroke, MIL was diagnosed with cancer and has falls a lot and my dh was diagnosed with a few different long term health conditions last year…I could go on, but you get the picture.
As I say, be grateful you are able to enjoy parenting so much and stop focusing on people who are less fortunate or having a bad day or whatever.

OP, I get what you're saying. I have a 4-year-old daughter and a 20-month-old son, and we're planning baby number three.A lot of the parents around me seem to be struggling and constantly complaining. When we say we don't find parenting that difficult, people look at us like we're crazy.I genuinely love spending time with my family, and I have amazing children. Is it hard work? Of course. But I also think modern parenting makes things much harder than it needs to be, which is why so many parents feel overwhelmed.For example, we don't ask our children what they want for dinner—we serve a meal and that's what is available. We don't beg, negotiate, or constantly cater to them. They know the expectations and boundaries.I also don't understand the obsession with endless playgroups, activities, and soft play centres. I never had any of that growing up, and I had a wonderful childhood playing with my sister. Children don't need constant entertainment. I think many parents put pressure on themselves to provide activities all the time, and it's exhausting.We're also not the type of parents who want to sit on the sofa scrolling on our phones all day. Honestly, I think phone addiction is a huge part of why so many adults feel overwhelmed. If some of the time spent scrolling was spent cooking, cleaning, relaxing, or simply being present, I think many parents would feel less stressed.
That's not to say parenting is easy for everyone, but I do think a lot of modern parenting expectations make it far more difficult than it needs to be.

I also don't understand the obsession with endless playgroups, activities, and soft play centres.

I think one of the hardest things about modern parenting is the endless criticism from others - age you become a parent, age gaps number you have how you feed then when you go back to work - it comes from everywhere.

I did playgroups 5 days a week because it suited us - I moved to new area twice once in first pg then again in second knowing no-one. So it was how I met people and suited the kids.

It gave routine I got them up and outside playing in a bigger space with different toys, doing crafts stuff I didn't have to think up and set up alone to be left really quickly and learning to interact with other kids under a watchful parental eye it all lead to a quieter more managable rest of the day for me. In hoildays when they weren't running did sometime switch to soft play in winter. I got endless criticism from wider family and other parents about it. Turns out the older two both have ADHD so was probably doing best thing I could for us all.

Once they started school they came home exhausted - lots of sensory over load and summer born kids - and we adapted to that as well and wasn't till later primary clubs and other things after school started to be done.

I do see over schedule kids - and with a few have wondered if its so the parents avoid spending time with them - and kids being ignore while parents are on the phone but most parents are doing their best and are often time poor for other reasons.

I’ve actually noticed that on social media (I’ve never really surrounded myself irl with ‘my life / parenting / existing is sooooo hard’ types, normal complaints of course but this ott everything’s a trial characters!) that the ‘trend’ seems to be starting to swing back the other way. Less of the competitive negativity and a bit more ‘joy in the small things’ sort of posts. Admittedly with that you also get competitive ’my life is FANTASTIC’ posters but swings and roundabouts!
Now, all that is not to say that I don’t appreciate genuine struggles people have, and that some people don’t find motherhood super enjoyable or that they find parenting on the harder side but I’m specifically talking about the misery pissing contest that seems to exist online.
With all that being said, I understand you, and I feel the same. Sure, some days are a bit tougher than others, and I have little in the way of support as my husband works very long hours (although he is a wonderful husband and father) but I love being a mum. I am never regretful or unhappy with my life and my children. I’ve never been more happy or fulfilled than I am now as a SAHM to a 4yo and a 1yo. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, honestly. It’s a shame that it’s seen as to be bragging or showing off.. or even just outright lying to say that but it is what it is I suppose.

I think people are really fixating on the SM aspect of my post. My opinion on SM is that people just pick highlights and these tend to fit the narrative they want to portray be that positive or negative. I’m just amazed at how many creators content is geared towards the negative.
However I have also clarified that this is very prevalent in real life. And this makes me feel I have to edit myself in order not to make anyone feel bad/be insensitive to those who are struggling. I appreciate people can struggle with life for a whole host of reasons and having children is a big demand on your emotional and physical energy. So I am not trying to downplay that it’s hard at times. But it’s also really nice to hear that there are other people out there who really just genuinely enjoy being a parent with the ups and the downs that that brings. Thank you for all your replies.

People “censor” themselves all the time. Not talking about how easy and enjoyable you find parenting is no different to not mentioning how romantic your partner is or how much money you have in the bank/ how much your house is worth or what you got as a work bonus. It’s not that hard. Nobody is stopping you from talking about how great your kids are. They may not be particularly interested but that’s about it.

I think you do have to edit yourself as pp says in real life. People have struggles and not everyone has made the choices to support their situation or have made them in good faith and been let down.

I do though think you should be able to ask for like minded people on a parenting forum. I have loved being a Dad, loved every bit of it . As we move through the stages I may change my mind but currently I like you op couldn’t be happier with my choices.