How to tell my mum breastfeeding my toddler is not her decision

[Runnermumof2]

Best way to express my response.
Hoping the mum's can help me out. My mum wants me to stop breastfeeding my 20month old. I have zero issues breastfeeding and happy to continue. He has dairy allergy so can't have cows milk and doesn't like soya milk, so at least I also know he is getting added nutrients this way.
She thinks it's stripping me of my nutrition and is making me too thin .
I am naturally a skinny person and currently about 5kgs under my pre pregnancy weight. Bmi of 21 (which is in the healthy category) She is overweight and has struggled with her weight her entire life, I'm not sure if that's relevant at all. My dad is tall and skinny like me.
She's going to call me to discuss it and I just wondered what your opinions on the best way to phrase it would be ? Basically- 'mind your own business, nothing to do with you, back off' But in a kind manner that doesn't make her upset.

Women breastfeed in times of famine successfully. In fairness the system is designed to give to your baby first. But if you are eating normally then it will never be problematic.
Just do a Homer Simpson and ignore or get some links to send to her.

Is it just 1 breast feed a day as a top up, help with settling? If so, I can't imagine that is stripping your body of nutrition. Can you eat a bit more and that could put her mind at rest. You are her 'baby' and she's worried about you.

OP is slap bang in the middle of the healthy bmi bracket.

Also if this was the mother's genuine concern, she could offer to buy OP a big bulk bag of protein powder and some quality multivitamins rather than pressuring her to stop doing something that is biologically normal, age appropriate and in the child best interests.

Hi Mum I really appreciate your concerns for me but I've discussed everything with my GP & Health Visitor & they're happy for me to carry on BF as long as I want to. I am conscious of my weight & am eating healthy & have no concerns of being underweight. I'm doing the best for my baby & know that's what you'll want too so we really don't need to discuss it any further. Happy for you to brig cream cakes when you pop in next for a catch up.

My answer would be "thanks for your concern, but things are very different today and breastfeeding is not frowned upon anymore except by older generations." My mother was dead against it (had 3 kids in the 70s, smoked thru 2 of the her pregnancies and never breadtfed any) and I fed my son until he was 2.5 mainly night feeds. Then said to him no more and he was fine with that. She interfered with getting me to potty train. My husband potty trained him as he turned 3 in 30 mins. Told him hes a big boy and no more nappies. Never even had an accident after that day. Do what suits you. When my son got very sick at 4 (thankfully he was fine - nothing lasting) the docs said his immunity was so strong as I fed for so long and told me I was a good mom for doing that!

I was made to feel weird for breastfeeding at 20 months by friends and people in general. I stopped and I still have regrets about caving to peer pressure. This was 19 years ago!

Physiologically, children can breast feed to around 8 years old. Natural self-weaning (determined by the child) is often observed between 2.5 and 7 years old from an anthropological standpoint.

Global & Health Organization Recommendations: Both the World Health Organization and <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&rct=j&url=www.unicef.org/&ved=2ahUKEwj9w7bv8OWUAxVyUkEAHXn7BYQQy_kOegoIAggACAAIIxAC&opi=89978449&cd&psig=AOvVaw3GEFafXA3QUF-m6TFC_JSO&ust=1780397822727000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">UNICEF recommend that mothers breastfeed exclusively for the first six months and continue up to 2 years of age or beyond.

As others have said, thank your mum but be firm and say you will not be stopping. Tell her you've done your research and there's no reason not to.

And ultimately, it has nothing to do with her

She shouldn’t actually go to her GP with this though should she? It would be an irresponsible waste of the GP’s time, a perfectly healthy woman feeding her child in the perfectly normal, recommended way.

Pretend to go, maybe, but actually go? No way.

Imagine someone who was slightly plump looking but perfectly healthy being advised to traipse to their GP for ‘proof’ that they’re ok because someone had said they look too fat. Wouldn’t happen. They’d be told quite rightly to simply tell the critic that they are wrong.

OP is an adult and able to make health decisions for herself. She has said she is well and a healthy weight.

But she is wrong to decide that it's breastfeeding that is making her thin , tired and drawn because it won't be. What OP is natural and her body will adjust. If she is looking tired and drawn it will be because she has a toddler with multiple allergies. Continuing to breastfeed him is actually the best thing she can do for him and it probably makes her life a lot easier too

Yes, but herr Mum is worried about her.

Reassuring her Mum that she's looking after herself, as well as her toddler, is the right thing to do, not telling her it's none of her business or the 'my boobs, my child - my choice kind of bolllocks is just pathetic & not helpful. You don't stop caring about your children when they turn. 18 or when they have a baby.

I have adult children. Of course I worry about them , more now than when they were children.
But I also acknowledged that they are mature intelligent people entitled to make their own decisions about their bodies.
I know what my daughter's response would have been if I told her I wanted to book a phone call with her about how long she is breastfeeding for! She would have quite rightly told me it's her body, her baby and she is doing what is right for them both. Then she wouldn't discuss it any further.
We all worry about our children but we should never let that worry negatively affect our children. Because the worry is our problem not our children's.
And the OPs mother's concerns are unfounded and uninformed anyway!.

Good job we're all different isn't it.

Lol at all the sympathy for the mum being ‘concerned’. It’s always ok to be ‘concerned’ about a slim woman isn’t it.

If the mum was arranging a phone call to discuss OP putting on a few pounds, while being a perfectly healthy weight, she’d get an absolute strip torn off her. It would be considered a terribly dangerous thing to do, encouraging eating disorders etc, and OP would probably be told to go NC. So much more understandable to try to control someone when they are deemed ‘too thin’, or, as a pp so delightfully put it ‘scrawny’. We had to have that word at some point didn’t we.

Same old same old.