How would you deal with a six year old speaking rudely daily?

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How would you handle a 6 yr old speaking rudely on a daily basis.

points at me and says “you stop telling me what to do” he does this infront of people and even at home.

he says “your a liar”

“oh shut up”

if someone says how’s the meal or how’s school been he just says “stupid” everything is “stupid”

“go get me food now”

im starting to get really fed up with it now i have explained we dont use these words and to speak respectfully but he donsnt seem to listen, me and his father do not use this language at home.

we went to the dentist today and he started telling me to shut up and that im not the boss of him and can’t tell him what to do and even turned and said the same to the dentist, then at the end proceeded to say I don’t want to see you again to the dentist 😩😲.

This 100% snd Id make him make or write a card for the dentist to say he’s sorry for being rude and take it there. He’s not too young to colour in and write his name and maybe write tye word sorry.

Keep the rude friend away.
My mother would have yelled at us grounded us to our room and made us knee down and pray for forgiveness.
That said, we are no longer in contact.

We clamped down on this hard as soon as first child could speak. No one speaks to dh and I like that least of all a kid - I think not. There is nothing wrong with a child being keen to not piss you off. I think modern parenting has gone too far in the sappy direction as evidenced by some of these responses.

We are now known as “lucky” because our late teens are lovely and never rude to us and still want to hang out with. us occasionally when not socialising with mates.

Sorry to reply but this really gets my goat….parents educate kids and set ground rules - blaming on a ‘bad influence’ is (IMO) BS….kids and more so adolescents will encounter all sorts of stuff and people you don’t like/want…and of course kids (and I fully expect my kids) will get stuff wrong but the attitude is that it’s ’his/her’ fault shows an absolute (IMO) lack of accountability (both child and parent)

Really? I certainly wouldn’t be all nicey nicely about it. No, he needs a bollocking or two. How long has this been going on for?

I’ve always insisted on good manners and mine was pulled up every time if saying something in a slightly rude way! I have no tolerance for this level of rudeness

Sounds similar to my dd except she only says such things when she's angry (and usually tired) and only to me, not others. I never give in when she uses language like this and she will always apologise afterwards.

You are the parent.

It is not about anything other than giving your beloved child a boundary. It is very unacceptable for your child to speak to you in this way and you, as parent, need to stop this.

If they get to teenage years with this level of disrespect you will seriously struggle.

I hardly think a kind voice is going to work here.

Op has been using her kind voice until he is now 6 and he doesn't listen!

I agree,he gets lots of attention from you speaking like that.

How about giving him a reaction he actually doesn’t like. Being shouted at to shut down a bad attitude isn’t going to harm him, and clearly explaining nicely isn’t getting you anywhere.

I think the one and only time my eldest spoke to me like that in a jokey way I absolutely roared at him and sent him to his room.
Nobody ever speaks to me like that and I’m sure as hell not raising a brat who thinks he can.

How do you access this kind of support? Not from GP? If you find them privately, how do you know if they are credible?

I would start by getting curious. Why is he speaking to you in that tone? Why is he using those words? It's said that misbehaviour is communication. What's going on that's bringing on this behaviour?

My little one has been testing me, and patience has been challenging recently, but I have identified some of the triggers. Things to look out for are sleep, diet, home environment, school, media consumption, mood, friends, etc.

Some kids just take that as modelling that their own tone is fine, and while the initial shock of being yelled at might hit them, many kids become acclimatised to it.

My ds used to hit me when he was around 2.5 - I tried everything, a psychologist suggested I completely ignored the behaviour. When I did, he tried to hit me as hard as he could and I ignored the behaviour. After trying to resolve this behaviour for weeks and months with time outs, treat removals etc - this worked in less than 48 hours. It was incredible. And Ds is 22 now and is non violent - never had a problem since.

Naughty corner!!

You haven't said what the consequences are for him talking to you like this?

Consequences and rewards for improving. And whomever the friend is I assume at school - you should discuss with the school and get their view and whether they can do more to separate them.

Does naughty friend come round for play dates? (I'd imagine not, but...) Does he talk to you or ds like that? If so, one warning"we do not speak like that to other people here" model politeness and boundaries. Second time, straight home and tell him clearly why. Praise good behaviour always. Its attention and reaction he's looking for. He doesn't care if its positive or negative. But if you show him that the attention he gets for good behaviour is much better than for negative it will soon click. It won't be overnight though and there will be tears but youre a grown up, dont let a 6year old rule you.

You need to be much firmer with him. As others have asked, when you tell him that we don’t speak like that, what consequence is he given because that won’t mean a jot to him!
Oh and no child would be given a morsel if they told me to go and get food now!
Have you spoken to the school about his behaviour and this friend? Does he watch YouTube etc?

Is he your child or your step-child? You post doesn’t actually say.

It doesn’t change the fact the rudeness needs tackled, but would change how much his father should step in and handle it.

I think he’s letting you know in a roundabout way that his friend says mean things to him and bosses him about.

Address the behaviour firmly but calmly every time, making sure to separate the bad behaviour from the good in him (we all struggle when we’re struggling and he is only 6). “ Hey! what’s going on? We don’t speak to each other like that. It’s not like you to do that, what’s wrong? Try that again…” I’d verbally repeat his request in a polite way to model it if he needs that level of scaffolding to start getting it right.

At a neutral time when you’re getting along well gently bring up that you’ve noticed he’s using mean/bossy words a lot lately, and you know it’s not like him so you’re wondering if he’s struggling/has people that treat him unkindly at school. Reassure him we all make mistakes and it’s part of learning, you love him and it’s your job to help teach him this stuff. Practice him saying “don’t talk to me like that/I don’t like that” to help him at school and talk to the teacher to keep an eye on the other kid.

if you constantly correct him or punish him without getting to the root cause or helping him learn new skills he could internalise “I’m a bad kid” narrative that his friend probably already believes and it will escalate. if you ignore it totally he won’t learn a better way and it will also escalate.

This is very simple. He does not see that friend, and he gets nothing unless he can ask nicely and behave nicely.

As an auld Granny who raised her kids when it was all very different …when I read these posts you have no idea how much I want to say “I would have smacked his arse and he wouldn’t have done it again “.

Is he having big emoshaaans? 😂

There's a happy medium between ignoring it and beating them.