Grandparent saying they will take me to court to see son

[anonymouss9481913728]

Back story my father didn’t like my sons father, I split from sons father a met someone else in 2022 and my father decided he didn’t like him before even meeting him, he will be nice to his face and say horrible things about him and his family when he’s not around.
when I told my dad we were expecting after trying for 2 years and waiting on ivf best to say he wasn’t pleased around that time my son decided he didn’t want to see his grandad he hated him ext, I have tried for last 8/9 months to fix this as it come out of no where but my father blames my partner saying he is filling his head full of stuff when Infact that isn’t true at all, my son is fine with everyone else including other grandparents and dads side of family.
my dads not that nice to me either always been like that but I just seem to deal with it but distancing myself unless it’s the day my dad sees my son I go with them to mcds or park ect,
he has now said he will be going to a lawyer and the person who will be named as causing this will be my partner and if it involves courts and social work so be it was his words.
like I’ve tired to make sure my son keeps a relationship with him like so hard but my sons not having it and getting threaten with courts social work ext when I’m nearly 9 months pregnant is so stressful
he has only ever seen him on a Sunday for a few hours since was born and the odd Saturday for a sleepover , this was alone since he was about 1 until it changed about 9 months ago when he started saying he hated his granddad and wouldn’t go alone with him but would go with my but would say he hated him didn’t want to speak to him would hide his face ect,
I'm in Scotland not sure if that helps
has anyone had a grandparent go to court for access? I’m not even denying access I make sure my son sees him once a week on the Sunday with me there

Stop facilitating access, you dont have to have abusive people in your life, just cut contact.

He’s very unlikely to win access.

the reason the law was set up that sometimes allows grandparents to apply for access (they have to first get permission to do so) was to protect children like myself whose grandparents played a parental role in their lives.

In 20 years of working in schools the only time I’ve ever known grandparents to be successful was where they had had the children 3 days a week for many years after their DD died, then the dad and his new partner wanted to cut them out entirely. Not even the occasional weekend.

He has zero chance.

he’d have to prove he had a significant role, including decision making, in the child’s life before this would even be considered.

if he’s so awful you’d should stop all access - especially if your child doesn’t want to see him

Why are you forcing DS to see your father? I don’t understand.
Cut him off completely and let him do his worst.

To me my first thought is something has happened when your dad has been around your son and you weren’t there. Why would your son just suddenly out of nowhere say he hated his granddad and refuse to see him, hide his face, etc. Something feels wrong.

He has no access rights whatsoever so these are just nasty empty threats to bully you. Don’t give in to his abuse and have a proper chat with your son so he knows he’s safe.

Nope. Don’t give that another thought. Stop seeing him altogether, for the following reasons-
He isn’t owed access to your dc.
Your DC doesn’t have to spend time with people he fears
You don’t like him, and for good reason.
He is threatening you. That’s coercive control.

Just stop seeing him.

Why are you allowing any access at all? Your son doesn’t want it and your dad is abusive and now threatening? What are you thinking!?
cut all contact immediately.

Stop contact, don't force your poor son to see someone he doesn't like, if he goes to court let him waste his money.

Yes. This is concerning to me too.

Let grandad do his worst. If your son doesn't want to go he won't.

Good luck.

If your dad plays up, makes threats, make sure you record all conversations and keep any messages. Is your mum around?

He used to struggle with the going with him kicking off screaming ect for leaving me but would settle after 30 mins or so of being with him, it all started when I found out I was pregnant but my son is completely fine with everyone else just not my dad, I thought my dad had maybe said something to him but when I ask my son he says to stop talking about it, and my partner works long hours so barely sees my son and I know he’s not filling his head filling his head with shit he has no reason too, my dad hasn’t like it since before he met him and that was nearly 4 years ago

Your dad has revealed himself to be a selfish bully, let him waste his money seeing a solicitor, he hasn't got a cat in hell's chance.

I agree that his threat justifies you cutting all contact completely if you want.

I’ve talked to my son many times and he tells me to stop talking about it or asking him, my partner also doesn’t know what my dad says about him as I can’t even bring myself to tell him as I would hate if it was other way about and his family was saying horrible things about me

I would be very very concerned about why your son does not want to see him and just as concerned about your fathers want to see him so much. It is a bit strange and honestly I would stop all contact asap and have someone speak to my child about why they do not want to go there anymore. Listen to your child. Do not force access to a grandparent if the child is uncomfortable and find out why the child is so uncomfortable about this.

Yes, my first thought, too.

Have you asked your son why he doesn't want to see your father? I would try to do that without leading him to give any specific response, if you can.
If necessary would you feel able to tell the police/social services what happened?

My mums not as dad got full custody of me when I was little, she would always send cards on my birthday ext but when I was 18 I tried to make a go of seeing her but found out she just wasn’t made to be a mum and accepted that she’s only seen my son once or twice since he was born, I keep all messages ext got screenshots of them too

How old is your son?

Nearly 6

He's got no chance. And grandparents have no rights of access in the UK afaik. Sad for some grandparents who have done nothing wrong but the law should stay as it is.

Hmmm just go easy. Might be worth having a chat to the pastoral team at his school.

They can keep an eye on him.
X

Well, I’d be worried that your dad has done something bad to your son, and that why he doesn’t want to go and won’t talk about it.

i don’t know how old your son is.

But you need to LISTEN to your son and stop facilitating access to someone who has potentially abused him in some way.

Your father has abused you too by the way, hence why your boundaries are not intact. Has he always insisted you allow him to see your son?

he has no parental rights or visitation rights, he walnut find a lawyer to represent him as he has no case.

so stop the contact between all of you. And see if your son opens up in a few months to tell you what happened.

Your son’s dislike and unwillingness to talk about it is very concerning. Don’t ignore this.

Why are you forcing your child to see someone who is so unpleasant?

I think you need to rethink your priorities and decide who means more - your son or your "D"F

I'm very concerned your son asks you to stop talking about why he does not want to see your father. That frankly sounds quite worrying.

Stop engaging. He can waste his money going to a solicitor. It's likely to be bluster to try and make you fall into line right now. And likely to fade to nothing when his solicitor tells him he's going to get nowhere with it.

Stop making your son see someone he really doesn’t want to see!