CMS payments with 50/50 shared care for kids

[MyCandidTiger]

Hi,

My ex and myself are currently going through separation. We have 2 children under 9 and I was a stay at home mum for the past 8 years. Last year I got back into full-time work and this year we are separating.
We want to share custody and time with kids 50/50, which led me to believe I have no entitlement regarding CMS. I ran the CMS calculator and it told me even with 50/50 shared care for the kids he would still need to pay £457 / month.

He earns triple my salary and said: " if his finances allow he can support me". He thinks he doesn't need to pay anything.
I spoke to a family solicitor and they said legally it would not be enforceable for him to pay any CMS if we share 50/50. He said I should reconsider our 50/50 arrangement, which I don't want as it feels unfair to the kids and him. I want my kids to have equal time with both of us but my ex wants to split child costs 50/50 which is not sustainable for me given I earn 3x less.

Was there anyone in a similar situation and how did you solve this?
What's the legal situation here?

Don’t ruin what sounds like a good coparenting relationship over this, please!

if you can’t afford the school shoes or whatever, just tell him you’re struggling and ask if he can step in.

if you go through CMS, you’ll end up with no CMS and ex will be a lot less willing to help.

That poster is full of shit OP.

If it is 50/50, you’re not getting CMS. If you push the issue he will claim child benefit for one child to prove 50/50 so not only will you not get maintenance but you’ll also lose 1 child benefit. It doesn’t matter that he earns too much to claim the money, he will just claim it and not take the money.

In order for CMS to not be paid he would have to pay literally 50% of everything - clothes/ trips/dinners / childcare etc and have them 50% of the time including holidays. Even then if he earns significantly more he could still be expected to pay something. I’d try

To her credit, @prolongedaffair has been very good at warning people off going down that path- maybe she'll be along to help OP out.

The history is irrelevant if you are going for 50/50. It's based on the number of nights the children stay with each parent. At the moment you can't do 50/50 because you're still living together so their nights aren't split between parents.

What is the plan going forward regarding where everyone is going to live. Do you rent or own your home?

Ok got it. I have been budgeting anyway with not getting any support but then when the CMS calculator ran it told me this essentially:

Scenario 3: 50/50 Equal Custody (182 nights)
Parent earns £50,000, 1 child, true 50/50 arrangement

• Normal amount: £115.38/week
• 50% reduction: £57.69
• Minus £7 per child: £57.69 - £7
• Final amount: £50.69/week (£220/month

That’s not remotely how it works. CMS don’t get involved in what people pay.

All he has to show (if the OP disputes it) is that he has the children half of all overnights.

He is then responsible for his costs when the children are with him, but not at all when they are with the OP. If the OP books the childcare, for example, and then he refuses to pay for his days then that is a dispute between them that CMS don’t get involved in.

Again it is not correct op. Listen to your lawyer and most posters on here,

Who told you that? They don't care about who pays for what as long as the child is adequately cared for at both houses. It's done on overnights over a year, it doesn't matter whether the nights happen during holidays or term time.

I feel for you. Best to focus on building your career (him having 50/50 should help that) and cut your cloth accordingly when it comes to kids' parties, hobbies, gifts etc.

And for anyone else reading, please please please don't give up your career to be a SAHM mom if you're not married or have other financial security.

Just to add, unless there’s a safeguarding concern that has been logged by an independent third party (not just you saying it), he’ll probably get 50/50 or thereabouts anyway.

I was primary carer for years, and only work two days a week, and ex behaved appallingly. He still got 40%.

This is wrong and it’s awful people are making stuff up and posting it. If you dint know don’t respond.

Is his job one where 50:50 is realistic? Given he's done so very little up to this point it's not impossible he'll find the reality to be too much work.

Yikes!

This is your best bet…let him create enough rope to hang himself. Less bad blood, similar outcome.

In the time I worked at CMS I cannot recall a single time the calculator was totally accurate.

The gov screen shot someone posted shows there would be nothing due. Your own legal advice has told you nothing is due.

Do not fall into the trap of believing what you want to be correct, rather than what is correct.

At least I put in half the deposit of our current home. So currently we are in the process of equity transfer and I will be buying my own home.

Yeah I think there is no legal standpoint fore really, other than that we might come to an informal agreement. Which I don't think will happen. So there is that 🤷
I did budget all my stuff without initial support anyway, so the CMS amount was a nice day dream to have I guess.

This is always my advice as well.

my ex went to court for 50/50 and got it. Within a year we were back in court and everything was changed as he’d shown he could actually facilitate 50/50.

Yeah makes sense. I honestly just hope for his sake and the kids he will be able to do it all. Like I want us both to be involved and good parents and to be able to talk normally to each other.

Is he buying you out then or is the house to be sold?

This is the best approach op. Go into this amicable don’t make it about the money first and foremost.

Yeah he is buying me out. I can't afford to stay in the house.

The 50/50 will kick in after you have left the house then.

Another one. 🤦🏻‍♀️